Friday, May 24, 2024

News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

Breaking News! 2014 Match Day Results Leaked Early

1
NRMP HQ, WASHINGTON, DC – Friday, medical students throughout the nation will officially find out where they matched for residency.  Reports are circulating on Student Doctor Network (SDN) and other medical student forums that hackers were...

Patient’s Reflexes Documented in Medical Record, Perplexed Medical Student Didn’t See Examination

5
DENVER, CO – Third-year medical student, Samantha Mullerton, is rotating through the Memorial Hospital emergency room as part of her clinical rotations.  She recently called GomerBlog in regards to a developing story regarding an attending...
em physician

45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient

98
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home patient, Onis McBurgrontree of Pendleton, IN.  With his right index...

New Energy Drink, 25-Hour Energy, Marketed to Physicians, Allows Hospitals to Convert On-Call Rooms...

1
WASHINGTON, DC - Controversial new energy drink, 25-Hour Energy, is fast becoming a staple in doctor’s lounges and cafeterias.  Available only to those with a valid medical license, 25-Hour Energy claims to increase energy...
bronies facebook

Medical Referral Placed to Bronies Facebook Group for Second Opinion

0
HOUSTON, TX - 48-year-old Mark Wilkersten has been battling with bilateral knee pain for several years now.  After seeing his primary care doctor for chronic knee pain last week, he elected to take a...

Poll Reveals Most Attending Surgeons Secretly Jealous About 80-Hour Work Week

0
EGAN, ND - A poll of practicing surgeons at the recent Society of Magnificent Surgeons meeting revealed that 92% of those polled were secretly jealous of their trainees' 80-hour work week requirement. "For Pete’s sake,"...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

4
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year he would donate "most of his vital organs to people...

Texting While Operating Now Illegal in 5 states

14
SACRAMENTO, CA – On Monday California became the 5th state to ban texting while operating.  This new legislation came after Dr. Kenneth Fellet texted his friends, who were partying in Mexico without him, and...

Local Man Relieved He Was Able to Yell at His Surgeon Just Before Going...

2
HERSHEY, PA – Early reports are coming in that local man, Frank Demmer, chewed out his surgeon in pre-operative bay five.  "I’m just happy I was able to yell at him before I went...

Parent Uses Landmark Paper ‘No Difference in Scrape Healing Placebo Vs. Band-Aid’ Without Success

2
OMAHA, NE - Local resident Amy Shoemaker has tried to inform her children over and over that Band-Aids applied to only superficial wounds make no difference in long-term outcomes. "I told , 'Look at the...