Friday, February 26, 2021

News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

medical music festival

Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015

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INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for 2015, which will be held between March 6-8 in Indio,...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request with “What do you expect me to do about it?” The...
Earth Day

Earth Day News: After 4.5 Billion Years, Earth Remains Full Code

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THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - After a two-hour long meeting with NASA’s palliative care service, Earth has decided to remain Full Code. “Hey now, I’m 4.5 billion years young and ain’t nothing gonna stop me,”...

Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: ‘See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak...

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NIKKO, JAPAN - For the first time in centuries, the three wise monkeys have spoken.  In an exclusive and brief statement to GomerBlog, the three wise monkeys asked us to take pause before delivering their special...
bronies facebook

Medical Referral Placed to Bronies Facebook Group for Second Opinion

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HOUSTON, TX - 48-year-old Mark Wilkersten has been battling with bilateral knee pain for several years now.  After seeing his primary care doctor for chronic knee pain last week, he elected to take a...

After Obesity is Classified as a Disease, Ralph Calls In Sick for the Fourth...

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HOUSTON, TX – At United Data Centers Inc., a web development company, Ralph Summers has called in "sick" four times in the last month.  The AMA has recently classified obesity as a disease and...

Nurse Disappears After Using “Q” Word

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ROCHESTER, MN - Jackie Shern, floor nurse at United General, disappeared following her shift last week.  “It was an easy night for us,” stated Jess Gird, a coworker of Jackie’s.  “We were getting our...
Hamlet gross anatomy

Hamlet Prepares for Head & Neck Exam in Gross Anatomy Later This Week

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ELSINORE, DENMARK - Totally freaking out over his upcoming exam on the Head & Neck this week in Gross Anatomy, Hamlet has opted to "suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" and begin...
e-cigarettes

News in Brief: Life Expectancy for Douchebags Climbing Thanks to E-cigarettes

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ATLANTA, GA - Although they are a relatively new phenomenon, electronic cigarettes are a slightly healthier alternative to traditional combustible and inhaled tobacco products.  Particularly eye-opening is a new study from the American Cancer...

Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the 80-degree flu.  "Hundreds of nurses call in sick each Friday,...