Updated 2015 ACLS Algorithm

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ACLS KEY BELOW:

* Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
*** Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
**** New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
***** Beverage Container Left Open at Nurses Station, Three Dead as a Result
****** Nurse Has License Suspected for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
^ Naptime Now Required for Residents per ACGME Guidelines
^^ Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to be Replaced by New, Efficient “Paper Chart” System
^^^ Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
^^^^ Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door
^^^^^ ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR
^^^^^^ Nurse Relieved to Find Out that Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse

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  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    sammy

    VCO = vultures circling overhead

  • Avatar
    sammy

    Rule #! Gomers go to ground….:0

  • Avatar
    ktk

    I love “epinephrine and shocks if you can remember where they fit in the algorithm”…hhahahhahaha

  • Avatar
    ktk

    I assume you meant “crapped” my pants…that’s what I do, anyway…

  • Avatar
    ktk

    HAHAHHAHAHAHA

  • Avatar
    ktk

    me too!! HILARIOUS!

  • Avatar
    ‘Murica! FP

    Commit to memory!

  • Avatar
    Steve Carroll, DO

    Brilliant!

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Biber

    I like the part about tangling the lines if transferring to ICU.

  • Avatar
    Margaret Helene O’Connor

    Before all this, ensure patient’s med rec is complete. (Remember, no care until the med rec is there!)

  • Avatar
    Veronica Nicole Fries

    I swear to you. They’re like snakes; weaving and undulating when us RN’s in the ED aren’t looking!!

  • Avatar
    Regina Hedrick Spach

    Susan Blackwell-Nichols HAHA! Love it!!!! And just so you never forget…SVT is greater than 150 bpm, and NO I do NOT want you to give that Adenosine 6mg :) Hugs!

  • Avatar
    Regina Hedrick Spach

    Susan Blackwell-Nichols HAHA! Love it!!!! And just so you never forget…SVT is greater than 150 bpm, and NO I do NOT want you to give that Adenosine 6mg :) Hugs!

  • Avatar
    Susan Blackwell-Nichols

    Regina Hedrick Spach

  • Avatar
    Susan Blackwell-Nichols

    Regina Hedrick Spach

  • Avatar
    David Burnette

    There should be something in there about the clueless person that stumbles in the room fifteen minutes into the code and asks if you’ve tried the epi yet.

  • Avatar
    Kimberly M. Bailey

    Awesome!

  • Avatar
    Iriana Telerín

    Salomé Palmero Nuria Medina Cabrera Noelia Lafuente Pereira Judith Cabrera Rivero Cel Llns ya se actualizaron?

  • Avatar
    Jamie Peekaboo Santos

    I have legit seen it listed as an allergy – “tachycardia”. No shit Sherlock

  • Avatar
    Chance Gearheart

    But I liked AHA-sanctioned killing my patients with Epi from the 2010 guidelines. :(

  • Avatar
    Dede Bragg Flaherty

    I love the part when administration hands out the patient satisfaction surveys!

  • Avatar
    Camie Wright

    YOLO! Too funny!

  • Avatar
    Brett Goy

    They forgot, check to make sure drain is in place

  • Avatar
    John Markley

    I think the “oops I capped my pants” was accidentally left out

  • Avatar
    Andrew Spartz

    Bretilium (sp) was removed in 2000

  • Avatar
    Docta MuneerJr

    Adham Ahmed Sayed

  • Avatar
    Carole Bryant

    I like ” attach monitor–take selfie-post to facebook”..lol!

  • Avatar
    Koen Kefel

    Magali Carlier

  • Avatar
    Kelly Healy

    Leigh Slater

  • Avatar
    Angie Stratton

    Damn you open beverages!

  • Avatar
    Carol Keasler

    Scott Newell, Kimberly M. Bailey :)

  • Avatar
    Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    “Rhythm scary? Yes = CRAP!” LOL! I would start it out as “Mutter, ‘Oh, SHIT’ under your breath and activate emergency response” – hehehe…

  • Avatar
    Megan Clenney Herald
  • Avatar
    Jessica Davis

    Epi and electricity allergies! :)

  • Avatar
    Mona Visnius

    Perfect! The students could use a laugh to help maintain sanity.

  • Avatar
    Caitlin Blanton Foxley
  • Avatar
    Roxie Barnes

    Ha! Mona Visnius think we need to laminate a copy of this one!!!

  • Avatar
    Heather Bettis

    Well as a previous article did state, as an ICU nurse I giddily await a tangled mess of lines when getting an admission. It gives me something to do.

  • Avatar
    Heather Bettis

    I have legitimately seen this listed as an allergy. Also versed with an “allergy” of respiratory depression.

  • Avatar
    Mark P Stacy

    What about post-resuscitation? We still do ice water enemas and sublingual Tic Tacs, right?

  • Avatar
    Kristin Blankenship

    Love this!!! So want to print it out in the ICU!! YOLo!!!

  • Avatar
    Cori McBride Aguilar

    Where the F is the bretylium? I swear that’s in here somewhere.

  • Avatar
    Diane Sparano

    I kind of want a sandwich too. Codes are hard work. They make you sweat and stuff…

  • Avatar
    Mackenzie Guizio-Crockett

    I see most of them shared from other people– you know the administrative cracks are the best ones. The clinical jokes are obvious right away but the things like “Charge nurse hands out satisfaction survey” or whatever it said about conducting a time out on that code algorithm… I would not be surprised if it showed up. The clipboard folks are so out of hand and I hope they read these too! Well maybe not, they may get some bright ideas, lol!

  • Avatar
    John Mowrey

    Awesome!

  • Avatar
    Martin Valdivia

    Even with this new algorithm you have to take a recertification every two years!

  • Avatar
    Kirsten Ditkoff

    Bridget Ralston

  • Avatar
    Roxanne Mayor

    Priceless…lmao

  • Avatar
    Erin Halliburton

    Mackenzie Guizio-Crockett, do you follow this blog? Hilarious!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Hutch N Amanda Swafford

    Upgrade to iPhone 6 … Classic

  • Avatar
    James M Wilson

    Ben, Ryan, Steve, Freddie, Ben

  • Avatar
    Steve Batton

    Just in time for recert

  • Avatar
    Elaine Salmon

    Cause when you’re dead, you’re dead!

  • Avatar
    Nicole Jenkins

    Thanks for ensuring that the lines stay tangled for me!! It’s my favourite :-D excellent algorithm!

  • Avatar
    Adela Isabel Yrastorza Smith

    Applicable the 1st second of 2015 JAN

  • Avatar
    guest

    This algorithm seems outdated…I see no mention of twitter or instagram. Also, where do you fit in texting your friends that your patient is coding? I think hospital administrators need to have a meeting about having a meeting to update this algorithm.

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Bein Rowlinson

    Don’t forget to check for that Epi allergy! Reaction: makes my heart race.

  • Avatar
    Maryann Udy

    Kristen Glasgowyou must subscribe.

  • Avatar
    Ellen Deffenbaugh

    As for me, I appreciate that pt satisfaction forms have been included!!!!

  • Avatar
    Lora Ann Cullipher

    Freakin’ classic, once again!!

  • Avatar
    Lora Ann Cullipher

    So relieved to see the 42-step time-out before CPR is incorporated into the updated ACLS algorithm…We can’t have wrong-sided CPR!

  • Avatar
    Debbie Rowe

    This belongs on the wall in my office where I can review it daily for adequate preperation….which I am sure will meet criteria for “meaningful use!” Thanx, Gomer Blog! :D

  • Avatar
    Anna Quattrucci Keller

    YOLO!!! Too funny…

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