Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by a hospitalist group in his home state of New Jersey...
PACU Institutes ‘No Repeat’ Policy
CREST BUTTE, MT - The policy review committee at Nondenominational Faith Memorial Medical Center has instituted a “No Repeat” policy in their Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU). The chairperson of the committee says that this...
Tip: If You Need to Extubate Patient, Send to Radiology
PITTSBURGH, PA – Hope Mercy ICU is starting a new policy that if you need your patient extubated just send them to radiology.
"Usually when your patient doesn’t quite meet extubation criteria but you have...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors reported abnormally abnormal behavior. When a 9-1-1 operator gets a call...
Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures
TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures. Despite frequenting four different hospital systems within the city, 93% of ER...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth to a healthy baby girl via cesarean section yesterday after...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning questions that one would ask for a typical abdominal pain...
Joint Commission Cites Itself as a Major Hindrance to Medical Care
CHICAGO, IL - This past Thursday, the Joint Commission officially cited itself as a major obstacle for patient care and safety. The Joint Commission released in a statement Monday, "If we truly are trying to improve...
