march madness

Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness

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HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness.  He presented to the...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopedic Applicant Tears Phonebook in Half to Seal Interview

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NEW YORK, NY - By the time Dr. Johnny "The Hammer" Utah, a fourth-year orthopedic resident at SUNY, Empire State, was applying for his...

This Day in Medical History: ECG of the Day Toilet Paper Invented

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1985 - Have you always wondered how ECG of the Day Toilet Paper came to be in the first...
aorta

Blood Sample Spontaneously Unhemolyzes Because Nurse Asks Nicely

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Sources from a local hospital are reporting a miracle, after a sample received by the laboratory spontaneously unhemolyzed following a discussion...

‘I Can’t Afford These $4 Meds!’ Says Patient with iPhone 6s Plus (Gold) &...

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ATHENS, GA - “I can’t afford these meds!” hospitalized patient Jason Redmond told his medical team, as he folded closed his 13-inch MacBook Air.  Redmond...

Study Shows Oxygen Less Functional When Nasal Cannula Worn as Headband

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ATTLEBORO, MA - A recent study shows that oxygen administration is significantly less effective for patients who wear their nasal cannulas as a headband. Nasal...
nurse helping

Study Shows ‘Hold On, I’ll Get Your Nurse’ Most Common Phrase Doctors Say to...

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A new survey published this month reveals the sentence “Hold on, I’ll get your nurse” to be the most common thing doctors say to...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Attending Does NOT Agree with Intern’s Plan as Noted Above

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AUBURN, AL - “This is absolute horsesh*t,” said family medicine attending Renata Bellows, as she read over her intern’s progress note.  “This is terrible....

10 Exciting Real Pages to Get, Especially at 2 AM

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1. Patient reporting 10/10 pain, wants stronger meds after his nap. 2. Patient’s butt is itchy.  Please advise. 3. Hi doc, pt has BP 127/61, HR...