Wednesday, August 5, 2020


fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy them either.  Now imagine performing the procedure on a high-speed...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern, Mercedes Bagger, who provided first-hand testimonial to this truth last...

Collagen Etude

One-third of all the proteins in the body are of collagen. We know that there are many types, and that we don’t know all of ‘em. Composed are types I, II, III, V of many...
red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options exist in critical care settings, where doctors have been forced...

1 in 4 Americans Have No Emergency Savings in Their Blood Banks

WASHINGTON, DC - According to a yearly survey by the American Red Cross, more than 25% of Americans in 2014 have no emergency savings in their blood banks.  Of those who do have emergency savings,...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle insurance authorization

God Denies Involvement in Cancer Treatment and Recovery

HOPE VALLEY, CA -Twenty months after being diagnosed with lung cancer, 67-year-old Denise Dewberry has been declared cancer-free by her doctors.  She claims her cure to be the work of God. God says otherwise. In a...

ZDoggMD: Friends with Low Platelets

cancer drug

Cancer Drug Delayed 2 Years Due to Licensing Deal

Boston, MA – Astra-Nomical has delayed their wonder cancer drug, Fizamax (ferazepatab), again. This time up to 2 years because of promotional disputes. “We were in late talks with Lucasfilm to have their new Jedi...
lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned what specific labs she was referring to, she responded, "All...

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair. “Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...