Hematologists Award Lance Armstrong Gold Medal de Excellence
AUSTIN, TX - On the eve of the historic 100th running of the Tour de France in Corsica, Lance Armstrong is making history again....
Hospital Having Difficulty in Training New Employee, ‘Mr. Dracula’
NEW BEDFORD, CT – Merryview Community Hospital recently hired a local man named “Mr. Dracula” as a phlebotomist for their laboratory division and their decision...
As Tour Winds Down, Epo Shortage Ends
FRANCE - The Tour de France ends July 21st and nephrologist Dr. Ron Goldman couldn't be happier. He told reporters, "The Tour couldn't have ended...
Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’
EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn."
When questioned...
Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train
I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform. I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy...
God Denies Involvement in Cancer Treatment and Recovery
HOPE VALLEY, CA -Twenty months after being diagnosed with lung cancer, 67-year-old Denise Dewberry has been declared cancer-free by her doctors. She claims her...
Cancer Drug Delayed 2 Years Due to Licensing Deal
Boston, MA – Astra-Nomical has delayed their wonder cancer drug, Fizamax (ferazepatab), again. This time up to 2 years because of promotional disputes.
“We were...
Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products
PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice. Unfortunately, few options...
1 in 4 Americans Have No Emergency Savings in Their Blood Banks
WASHINGTON, DC - According to a yearly survey by the American Red Cross, more than 25% of Americans in 2014 have no emergency savings in...
Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually
BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops. This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...