CDC: If We Stop Testing for Coronavirus, New Cases Will Drop
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC just released a new strategy in fighting novel coronavirus or COVID-19. They will limit, or completely shut down all future testing of Coronavirus. "If we stop testing for COVID-19,...
New GI Tool to Retrieve Foreign Objects Just an Arcade Claw Machine
NEW YORK, NY—Observing that its fellows have a very challenging time using forceps, snares or loops to retrieve foreign objects from the esophagus and stomach, the GI department at Manhattan Medical Center (MMC) has...
Move Over Nephritic & Nephrotic, Researchers Discover 3 More Renal Syndromes: NephrAtic, NephrEtic, and...
WASHINGTON, DC—Medical students everywhere have reportedly finally mastered the differences between nephritic and nephrotic syndromes, but just as they were preparing to ace their Renal exams, the American Society of Nephrology (ASN) dropped a...
Patient Drug Mentoring Program to replace the old PDMP
Washington, DC- The opioid crisis has had a drastic impact in the United States and more physicians have turned to alternative methods to dealing with chronic back pain such as referring to pain management...
Dr. Seuss Wrote a Progress Note: The Dung in the Lung
LA JOLLA, CA—After rounding on his patient, the incomparable Dr. Seuss entered the following progress note into Mr. Scott Hess’s chart:
I confess I just assessed Mister Hess.
Do you want to know his progress?
Why yes,...
Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias
Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday.
When asked about the secret to his long life, Jones held up a glass...
First Year Resident Upset with how Attending Manages DKA
PHILADELPHIA- In just her second week of Internal Medicine Residency at the University Hospital, Dr. Jamie Jones was upset yesterday with the way her attending, Dr. David White, was managing Diabetic Ketoacidosis.
“It’s just not...
Goodnight Hospital
In the dark call room
There was a telephone
And a lumpy bed
And a a picture of
An ancient man’s torso and head
And there were three white coats that seemed afloat
And a broken lamp
And the smell of...
Endocrine responds valiantly to Blood Glucose of 201
Local Endocrine fellow and brand-new father, Dr. Patrick Tumble, reports unadulterated joy at getting 3 am phone call regarding a high blood glucose. Dr.Tumble was asleep for the first time in “what felt like...
Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to check on a patient who was in distress and ultimately...