Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding
ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order with his gavel at 8:45 AM this morning.
In what is...
Ophthalmologist Dresses Up as Doctor for Halloween
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Sporting a stethoscope and a white coat, 58-year-old ophthalmologist Donald Myers decided to dress up as a real life doctor for Halloween. “Isn’t it fun!” proclaimed Myers as he swung his...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours ago," hospitalist Dr. Shaw told reporters. "Something just spoke to...
On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients
CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of his closest patients at Northwestern Memorial Hospital today.
"Look, why would I...
Medical Specialties as Disney Characters
Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all the beeps and knobs and when we look it never...
Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween
HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November 1st after a successful trick-or-treating. I’ll being doing their hearts...
Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body
THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully drafted and adopted an ordinance of secession, thereby becoming the...
Gerbil in Colon Nervously Awaits Bowel Prep Tsunami
SOME DUDE'S COLON - Gerald the Gerbil just received the bad news that his whereabouts have been discovered, and now he nervously awaits the imminent rush of polyethylene glycol as a bowel prep tsunami...
Embarrassing: Team Doctor Rushes Onto Field Without His Stethoscope Again
DENVER, CO - New York Giants team doctor Scott Rodeo feels like a giant moron as he once again rushed out onto the field tending to the care of an injured player without his...