Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus - a technique used by health care providers to assess...
Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating hospital buildings with their new fleet of UberGURNEY vehicles, giving...
New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors
CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason masks. It is named after the brilliant trauma surgeon who...
Spooky: Pyxis Swallows Nurse Whole, Rescue Underway
NEW YORK, NY - In unexpected and unfortunate news today, floor nurse Yelena Ivanovic was accidentally swallowed by her Pyxis machine shortly after engaging the fingerprint identification system, which is puzzling since she even...
Halloween Pumpkin Carving Scenes at the Hospital: Updated
PUMPKINVILLE, PATCH, U.S.A. - Look at these pumkins that were admitted to the hospital! OR maybe medical professionals with a warped sense of humor, who are stuck at work at the hospital on or...
Doctor Trespasses into Nurses Station, Shot on Sight
NORFOLK, VA - Internist Jeff Jenkins is face down and comatose on the fourth floor of Norfolk Medical Center after being shot in the buttocks with a Haldol blowdart this morning for trespassing into the nurses...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid of jerks and a**holes, a rare occurrence with an estimated...
New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain," citing new data analysis from...
Effort in Safety: Nurse Requests Patient’s Identification 150 Times in 1 Shift
BOSTON, MA - Nurse Tracy Painter, RN, BSN, now holds a national record. In the course of one ER shift, she asked the same patient for his name and birthdate a whopping 150 times....