Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project
RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine
PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...
Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...
CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
Dr. Oz & Joy Behar Birth Devil Offspring, Hell is Near
THE NINTH CIRCLE, HELL - In a frightening development, it has been reported that Dr. Oz & Joy Behar, two of television’s most reviled...
3:01 AM Lozenges Order Request Caught on Tape
BOCA RATON, FL - The following is an exclusive transcript of the explosive dialogue that has resulted in a formal reprimanding of Dr. Ann Hedonia...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
By Popular Overdose Demand: Activated Charcoal Smoothie at Your Local ER
HARTFORD, CT - Get those Press-Ganey scores up with the new Activated Charcoal Smoothie! With the number of intentional and unintentional overdoses skyrocketing across...
‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...
COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned! This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...