Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition
ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language...
Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of...
The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet
The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...
ED Study Reveals Spectacular Patient Selfishness
According to a riveting new study delving into the mindset of emergency department patients, as many as 97% of patrons are almost completely unaware...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning...
Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness
HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness. He presented to the...
Nurses Fired Over Grim Reaper Halloween Costumes
HOUSTON, TX - Two Nurses were relieved of duty on Friday at Good Samaritan Mercy Hospital for dressing up as The Grim Reaper during...
New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift
HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number...
Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium
LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has...
New Nurse Surgeon General Unsure Who To Page About Nation’s Slightly Abnormal Magnesium Level
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Office of the Surgeon General was thrown into chaos late last night when newly-appointed Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Sylvia...