Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes
LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care...
Breaking News: Attending Surgeon Follows Management Advice of Attractive New Nurse
NEW YORK, NY - Earlier this morning on rounds at St. Daniel’s Hospital in New York City, surgical residents and veteran nurses alike were astounded by...
Halloween Pumpkin Carving Scenes at the Hospital: Updated
PUMPKINVILLE, PATCH, U.S.A. - Look at these pumkins that were admitted to the hospital! OR maybe medical professionals with a warped sense of humor,...
Spooky: Pyxis Swallows Nurse Whole, Rescue Underway
NEW YORK, NY - In unexpected and unfortunate news today, floor nurse Yelena Ivanovic was accidentally swallowed by her Pyxis machine shortly after engaging...
Daughter of Patient Shocked to Discover There Are Other Patients On the Floor
HAYS, KS - Earlier today Ellie Opter was flabbergasted upon the realization that there were other people on the medical floor that her mother...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days,...
Nurses’ Poker Tournament Cancelled Due to Cardiac Arrest
SEATTLE, WA - In a disappointing turn of events, nurses were forced to cancel their weekly poker tournament when a patient unexpectedly went into...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
Littmann to Produce Separate Doctor and Nurse Stethoscopes Thanks to ‘The View’
NEW YORK, NY - "Why didn’t we think of that?" was the overwhelming question asked today by executives at Littmann, a company that produces...