ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%
SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game. In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance
NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...
New Nurse Retires After First 12-Hour Shift
OCEANSIDE, CA - New graduate Betty Jones has decided to retire after her first and only twelve-hour shift of floor nursing. Said Betty Jones,...
NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa
* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. *
** Free to leave includes taking mass...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell
9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to...
Medical Student Draws Blood for the First Time, Prefers Using Markers Over Crayon
In a rural hospital in West Virginia, Vance Agarwal a fourth year medical student nearing the end of a rural medicine elective had the...
Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR
LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...