Breaking News: Doctor Cycles Blood Pressure Cuff By Himself
JANESVILLE, MI - In an unprecedented occurrence Dr. Fern noticed the absence of a morning blood pressure. Starting to walk out of the room...
After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating. It...
Sexy Nurse to Dress as Regular Nurse for Halloween
ST. LOUIS, MO - Sexy nurse Bessie Seductiva says that Halloween is her absolute favorite holiday of the year, which is why she is...
Neonatal Falls on the Rise
A recent report in a major peer reviewed medical journal (then poorly summarized in an advertisement laden medical bulletin email) has uncovered yet another...
Color-Coded Scrub Ties Lead to Epidemic of ‘Scrub Shaming’
NASHVILLE, TN - Neurologist Dr. Allison Terazzoni glides through the hallways of Vanderbilt invisibly, staring at the ground, praying to go unnoticed, her white...
Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project
RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...
Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms
DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000. This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
Nurses Excited to Make Their Own PPE
A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative.
"I'm so happy to live in a country where supplies...
Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines
SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross...