After Meticulously Changing Wound Dressing, Nurse Looks Forward to Doctor Immediately Effing It Up
BIRMINGHAM, AL - After taking 20 minutes to meticulously clean and beautifully redress an elderly patient's dressing over her sacral decubitus wound, nurse Brittany...
Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction
LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA. "Long-term mortality...
Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal
ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked...
Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room
CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
Code Blue Also Code Brown
NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
Surgeon Rips on Nurses, Hospitalists, and ER Docs, and Twitter Delivers a Massive Takedown
TWITTERVERSE - A colorectal surgeon posted a rant about the care he received in an odd location "Psychology Today." The rant, which since has...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe
NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...
Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra
CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea...
Breaking: Donuts Spotted in Break Room, Two Boxes!
KANSAS CITY, MO - HURRY, HEAD TO 5 WEST!!! In breaking news reaching GomerBlog just minutes ago, there is one... no, scratch that, two...