Nursing

double portions

No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment

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BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure)...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
nightshift vs dayshift

Day Shift Vs. Night Shift Nurses

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A classic battle at every hospital.  Who does more, Day Shift or Night Shift Nurses? Depends on perception! This comes as no surprise, but night...
mechanical ventilator

Night Shift Enjoys New Ventilator Mode

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GOLETA, CA - Puritan Bennett's new ventilator mode is a hit with the Bay Harbor Hospital night shift. Along with the standard AC, SIMV,...

New Nurse Surgeon General Unsure Who To Page About Nation’s Slightly Abnormal Magnesium Level

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Office of the Surgeon General was thrown into chaos late last night when newly-appointed Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Sylvia...

Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball. When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...
father's day for physician or nurse

Last Minute Father’s Day Gifts for Your Physician/Nurse Dad

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Did you forget to buy your doctor or nurse dad a gift for Father’s Day?  Don’t worry, GomerBlog has you covered.  Here’s a last...

Nurse Flushes Family of Squirtles Out of Blocked Foley Catheter

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BURLINGTON, IA – A nurse at nearby Mercy Hospital was stunned to find out that her patient’s foley catheter obstruction had been caused by...
stage 5 pressure ulcer wound dressing wound care don't care

After Meticulously Changing Wound Dressing, Nurse Looks Forward to Doctor Immediately Effing It Up

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - After taking 20 minutes to meticulously clean and beautifully redress an elderly patient's dressing over her sacral decubitus wound, nurse Brittany...