‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
Meet the New Hospital Swiss Army Commode
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – The makers of the Swiss Army Knife, Victorinox, appears to have hit a home run with patients and providers this...
Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
Nurse in Float Pool Petitions for Actual Swimming Pool
DETROIT, MI - Nurses in a float pool at Henry Ford Hospital, led by Nurse Angela O’Donnell, are taking the lead and petitioning hospital leadership...
No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%
SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game. In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning...
Ticks to Assist Phlebotomists With Patients Who Are Tough IV Sticks
There are many examples of animal helpers in healthcare. Examples range from assistance dogs to even modern day leeches that provide anti-coagulation to surgical...