Code Blue Also Code Brown
NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
Top 10 Ways to Get Invited to the Nurses’ Infamous Potluck Dinners
Physicians, if you haven’t heard of or been to some of the nurses’ break room potluck dinners you probably aren’t doing any of the...
Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
Boston Scientific Reveals New “Drug-Eluting Bracelet”
MARLBOROUGH, MA – The role of proper hand hygiene in preventing healthcare-associated infection is well understood, yet the CDC reports that American healthcare workers...
New Social Worker Way More Social Than She is a Worker
NEW YORK, NY - It hasn’t taken long for health care providers at Mount Sinai Hospital to realize that Amanda Johnson, a new social worker...
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...