Nursing

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

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NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was...

Scrubs Teaches Us That “Everything Comes Down to Poo”

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In the "My Musical" episode of Scrubs, we learn that no matter, whatever a patient suffers from, EVERYTHING comes down to poo!  Watch this clip...

NASA Nurses Still Awaiting Callback from Extraterrestrial Docs

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Saying it's been well over 45 minutes since they had sent the pages, nurses at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration...
nurses bench press

As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters

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ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

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BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at...
worst patient

10 Reasons Why You Are the Worst Patient Ever

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Want to know why no nurse or physician or other health care provider wants to come into your room and take care of you?...
cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

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NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...