Study Finds Lack of Turkey Sandwiches Correlates with Rise of Death in the ER
CHICAGO, IL - In a new study done by the Patients For Turkey Sandwiches (PFTS), it is found that a lack of turkey sandwiches...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra
CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
Trojan Develops New Magnum Size Foley Catheters; ‘It’s About Time,’ Say 100% of Surveyed...
HOUSTON, TX - America’s number one trusted brand for contraception made a bold leap into the medical field today with the launch of Foley...
Second Semester Nursing Student Educates Staff Nurses on How to Properly Do Their Job
HARTFORD, CT – Second semester nursing student, Emily Rothenberg, thoroughly enjoys instructing her fellow staff nurses on how to properly do their jobs.
"Oh, one...
Shaq Mistakes Male Nurse for a Murse
MIAMI, FL – Shaquille O’Neil held a public relations press conference yesterday explaining what led him to carry around a grown man for almost a week.
"I...
Tips for Patients: How to Use a Call Light
Nurses are incredibly busy. And by busy we mean doing endless charting. So much so that they're contractually not allowed to eat or urinate....
Red Line in Medication Room Replaced with Crocodile-Filled Moat
BOSTON, MA - Any nurse who has dispensed medications knows the ubiquitous red line, in the medication room, near the Pyxis machine. This is a...