Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals
KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Doctor Trespasses into Nurses Station, Shot on Sight
NORFOLK, VA - Internist Jeff Jenkins is face down and comatose on the fourth floor of Norfolk Medical Center after being shot in the...
Nurse Saves Resident’s A** Again
In a usual twist of events, Nurse Betty Sue has prevented yet another resident from killing an unsuspecting patient.
Late in the evening, Nurse Betty...
Struggling Intern Asking for ‘Just One Hug’
BOSTON, MA - "Just one hug" is all intern Philip Geary is asking, if not BEGGING, from his fellow interns, residents, students, nurses, attendings,...
10 Phrases Male Nurses Love to Hear
Being male and in nursing certainly has its challenges some days. Most male nurses wake up each day and hope to hear at least...
Hospital Institutes Popular “One for You, One for Me” Medication Policy
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a move being praised by providers and patients alike, local Have Mercy Hospital has begun implementing a "one for you,...
CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...