Nursing

Breaking News: Doctor Cycles Blood Pressure Cuff By Himself

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JANESVILLE, MI - In an unprecedented occurrence Dr. Fern noticed the absence of a morning blood pressure.  Starting to walk out of the room...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
nurse reprimanded

Nurse Cures Cancer; Reprimanded for Breaking Protocol

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ORLANDO, FL - While looking at some lab values in conjunction with scientific research for her NP program, Nurse Francine Marcus miraculously found the...

Doctors Getting Nursing Degrees to Stay Competitive

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Shannon Wilkens on floor 4 West thought she saw someone she knew in scrubs walking into room 414.  "He was tall,...
stage 5 pressure ulcer wound dressing wound care don't care

Wound Care Nurse Calls Pressure Ulcer a Rare “Stage 5”

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Amy Johnson has seen some pretty bad sacral decubitus ulcers in her long career as a wound care nurse, but...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

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ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...

Massachusetts Nurses Union Urges Mandatory 3 Nurses to 1 Patient Ratio to Boost Lagging...

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BOSTON, MA – When Massachusetts voters head to the polls next week, the first question they will face is whether or not to initiate...
Methadone drone

Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...

April Fools! This Nurse Was Assigned Only 1 New Admit, Turns Out It Was...

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SACRAMENTO, CA - When Nurse Shannon came to work today, she was assigned to only one admit.  "Are we slow?" Shannon thought as to...