New IV Pumps Have Silence Button Lasting 24 Hours
GREENVILLE, SC - Hailing it as 2019's best new medical invention, a new IV pump by Shmalaris is like any other competitor's IV pump...
Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt
BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out. This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We...
After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating. It...
Joint Commission to Offer Board Certification
OHIO - The Joint Commission announced today the creation of a pathway to board certification in Joint Commission rules and inspection practices. "We are...
10 Reasons Why You Are the Worst Patient Ever
Want to know why no nurse or physician or other health care provider wants to come into your room and take care of you?...
Hospital Rat Mistaken for Pokémon
CHICAGO, IL - Northwestern University Hospital had a false alarm Saturday, where several employees mistook a hospital rat for a rare Pokémon. "I was...
“Hospital Sounds” Debuts at #1 on Billboard Music Charts
NEW YORK, NY - The music industry was stunned this week to find out that Hospital Sounds: The Sounds of the Hospital, an album...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...