Nursing

arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...
call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...

Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P

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QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but...
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...

Calling Report or Transporting a Patient to Another Floor? Follow These Incredible Tips

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Need to transport a patient to another floor after report has been called?  Here are some great tips to help facilitate a smooth and...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

So Rude: Patient Has the Audacity to Code at Shift Change

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ORLANDO, FL - In one of the most selfish acts of which Gomerblog has heard in recent memory, a 72-year-old male patient admitted last...
Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...