Nursing

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Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home

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MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling...
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Resident Tempts Fate, Sits Down at Nursing Computer

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Greg Schmidt, an internal medicine resident at Mercy Hospital put his career in danger earlier this week when he chose to...
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Nurses Visit Local Jail To See What Freedom Looks Like

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NEBRASKA - The nurses of University of Midwest Hospital recently visited Cook County jail to see what freedom looks like. They were shocked to...
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Hospital Administrators Rename RNs to ‘Refreshments and Narcotics’

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TAMPA, FL - In order to comply with new government healthcare regulations involving patient satisfaction, hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital have decided to rename...
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A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators

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Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant: I am an agent of change...
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CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack

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ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...

Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven

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VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead...

Nurses’ Poker Tournament Cancelled Due to Cardiac Arrest

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SEATTLE, WA - In a disappointing turn of events, nurses were forced to cancel their weekly poker tournament when a patient unexpectedly went into...
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New IV Pumps Have Silence Button Lasting 24 Hours

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GREENVILLE, SC - Hailing it as 2019's best new medical invention, a new IV pump by Shmalaris is like any other competitor's IV pump...
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Hero Nurse Wins the Coveted Golden Bladder Award

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MOUNT CARMEL, PA - Local ER nurse Jada Adams was recently recognized for her uncanny ability to retain large amounts of urine in her...