Nursing

Video: 10/10 Abdominal Pain While Eating Doritos & Talking on Her Cell Phone

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We sat down with Dr. Gomez, a doctor who treated a patient with 10/10 abdominal pain while eating Doritos and talking on her cell...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
thunderstorm

Patient Demands Nurse Change The Weather

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BALTIMORE, MD - Patient Amanda Stanley was having a terrible day: her appendix had ruptured, her hospital gown was unflattering, and she was assigned...
urine sample

Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...

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BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...

Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously

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CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...

Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy

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OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during...

Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal

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HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...

Breaking News: Doctor Cycles Blood Pressure Cuff By Himself

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JANESVILLE, MI - In an unprecedented occurrence Dr. Fern noticed the absence of a morning blood pressure.  Starting to walk out of the room...
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...