Nursing

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...

Administrators Change Nurses’ Day to Feb 29th

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CHICAGO, IL - Rush University Hospital Administrators made a recent change to the much celebrated: Nurses' Week. They eliminated existing nurses' week, May 6-12th, and...

Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left

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CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold. "You mean to tell me I started...

New CPR Mannequin to More Accurately Reflect Average American

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WASHINGTON – The American Heart Association (AHA) announced today the release of a new line of CPR mannequins, designed to more accurately reflect the...
Monty Python

Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration

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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983.  Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

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NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it...
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...
urine sample

Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...

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BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified...
confused nurse wound care

Risk Management, Proctology Consulted After RN Confuses PRN and PR Orders

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CRESTED BUTTE, CO - In what’s being labeled “an unfortunate incident that we’re all trying to get behind us,” St. Indignant’s Hospital administrator Paul...
nurse mary penny

Cashier Who Criticized Nurse’s Appearance Fired Due to Rude Personality

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Last week, Nurse Mary Penney was in line at a store when a cashier critiqued her appearance and found it surprising that she was...