Thursday, June 4, 2020

Nursing

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

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ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) as the overhead speaker system has turned up...
stone & chisel

New Stone & Chisel Medical Record a Huge Pain in the Ass

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A new stone & chisel medical record system implemented by hospital administrators at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center earlier this week is drawing the ire of health care professionals, calling it "ridiculous,"...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the east coast after a recent FDA approval.  Typically when a...
hospital scrub sizes

Color-Coded Scrub Ties Lead to Epidemic of ‘Scrub Shaming’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Neurologist Dr. Allison Terazzoni glides through the hallways of Vanderbilt invisibly, staring at the ground, praying to go unnoticed, her white coat impeccably buttoned at the waist.  The ploy works, until...
sounds of hospital

“Hospital Sounds” Debuts at #1 on Billboard Music Charts

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NEW YORK, NY - The music industry was stunned this week to find out that Hospital Sounds: The Sounds of the Hospital, an album of hospital sounds self-released by a local hospital, had climbed...

Contact Precautions Stethoscope Will Be Replaced With Drawing of Stethoscope

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an effort to cut down on cost and auscultation, hospitals are deciding to change to a illustrated picture of a stethoscope. "This is...

Scrubs Teaches Us That “Everything Comes Down to Poo”

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In the "My Musical" episode of Scrubs, we learn that no matter, whatever a patient suffers from, EVERYTHING comes down to poo!  Watch this clip and we dare you not to sing along! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsVgi8hoFFc  
Ebola quarantine chart

NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa

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* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. * ** Free to leave includes taking mass transportation and bowling. ** *** Please do not lie where you...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth Code Blue was announced overhead in the past 2 hours....
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating that he was "starving to death, no joke."  His medical...
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