Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters
ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get...
Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine
MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...
Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger
AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians...
Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
Online NP Programs to Eliminate Clinical Requirements to Maximally Exploit COVID19
Austin, TX - In the past several months while the country has been undersiege from the Coronavirus, numerous political and professional groups have taken full advantage...
Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain
SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her.
"How bad is your...