Nursing

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...

Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance

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NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...
frustrated nurse

New Nurse Retires After First 12-Hour Shift

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OCEANSIDE, CA - New graduate Betty Jones has decided to retire after her first and only twelve-hour shift of floor nursing.  Said Betty Jones,...
Ebola quarantine chart

NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa

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* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. * ** Free to leave includes taking mass...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...

Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell

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9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to...

Medical Student Draws Blood for the First Time, Prefers Using Markers Over Crayon

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In a rural hospital in West Virginia, Vance Agarwal a fourth year medical student nearing the end of a rural medicine elective had the...
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...