Nursing

holiday gifts for doctors and nurses

7 Holiday Gift Suggestions for Doctors, Nurses, Healthcare Professionals, and Patients

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As another sucky year comes to a much needed close, that can only mean one of two things: the holidays are approaching or it’s...
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...

Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...

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NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...
chloraprep

Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery

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WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...

Miss Colorado Goes on “The View” Wearing Contact Precautions

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NEW YORK, NY - Recently Joy Baher and her The View colleagues disrespected Miss Colorado, Kelly Johnson RN, and her talent of nursing.   Nursing, a...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...
wound care don't care

The Truth Comes Out: Wound Care Team Actually Doesn’t Care About Wound

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MOUNT LAUREL, NJ - Brace yourselves, a long-assumed notion once held about a certain class of health care professionals has just been completely obliterated:...

Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween

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HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween. “Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...

Calling Report or Transporting a Patient to Another Floor? Follow These Incredible Tips

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Need to transport a patient to another floor after report has been called?  Here are some great tips to help facilitate a smooth and...