Nursing

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

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ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in...
hell

Dr. Oz & Joy Behar Birth Devil Offspring, Hell is Near

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THE NINTH CIRCLE, HELL - In a frightening development, it has been reported that Dr. Oz & Joy Behar, two of television’s most reviled...
hospital workers

Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital workers eagerly awoke this morning, ready and energized to take on another thrilling work day at their local hospitals.  The fact...

Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR

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SAN ANTONIO, TX -  Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...

MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients

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SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...

Olympics Are Over, Now What??

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SEATTLE, WA - Nurses around the globe are wondering what in the world they will do now that the Olympics are over. “We’ve spent the past...
empty toner cartridge

Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes

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LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care...
childhood obesity

Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals

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KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...