Nursing

patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...
nursing diagnosis

Is Your Nurse Trying To Hook Up With You?

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Being admitted as a patient can be a scary and vulnerable time. Why not take this opportunity to get laid in your hospital bed,...

Nurses Excited to Make Their Own PPE

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A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative. "I'm so happy to live in a country where supplies...
angry nurse

Top 10 Ways to Really Piss Your Nurse Off

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Ever wonder how you can really piss off your nurse taking care of you in the hospital?  If you are like most of us,...
CPR

CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler

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Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing.  This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Joint Commission scissors

Joint Commission Requires More Name Tag Bracelets for Sicker Patients

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PHOENIX, AZ - In an effort to improve patient safety, the Joint Commission (JC) has recommended that sicker ICU patients should have multiple nametag...

Presidential Election Medical Memes

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printer toner

Printer at Nurses Station Celebrates Its 10th Straight Year without Toner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Congratulations!  Today, the printer labelled prntr04 at the fourth floor nurses station in Saint Thomas Midtown Hospital is celebrating its 10th straight...

Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit

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BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break!  He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's...