Nursing

new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

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ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
ER phone line

Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line

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CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...

Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

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BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
malpractice attorney

Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths

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MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian.  He...
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...
wound care don't care

Exhausted RN to Go Home with Home Health Services

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FORT MYERS, FL - Deconditioned, weak, and perpetually hypoglycemic from such a prolonged hospital shift, exhausted RN Catherine Weal will be sent home with...
blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

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GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on...

Nurse Flushes Family of Squirtles Out of Blocked Foley Catheter

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BURLINGTON, IA – A nurse at nearby Mercy Hospital was stunned to find out that her patient’s foley catheter obstruction had been caused by...