Nursing

Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body

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CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become...

CCU Staff Tests Limit of Foley Bag, Bomb Robot Deployed to Empty It

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WASHINGTON, DC - The product insert in the Foley kits at George Washington hospital claim that the bags will hold up to five liters...
confused resident

MD Aware: Intern Disputes His Actually Being “Aware” in RN Note

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CINCINNATI, OH - Emdee Awahray, an intern covering the general medicine floor overnight, has disputed the claim made by an RN in her overnight...
Foley, bloodbath

Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath

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ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...

By Popular Overdose Demand: Activated Charcoal Smoothie at Your Local ER

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HARTFORD, CT - Get those Press-Ganey scores up with the new Activated Charcoal Smoothie! With the number of intentional and unintentional overdoses skyrocketing across...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...

Nurses’ Poker Tournament Cancelled Due to Cardiac Arrest

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SEATTLE, WA - In a disappointing turn of events, nurses were forced to cancel their weekly poker tournament when a patient unexpectedly went into...
cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

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NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...