Surgeon Happiness Declared Risk Factor for Surgical Site Infection by AORN
Denver, CO – AORN President Missi Merlino, MHA, CNOR, CSSM, BFD, WTF, OPP, GED announced a new recommendation this week.
“Based on zero evidence whatsoever, AORN...
Map My Couch App Released in Response to Map My Run App
In response to the numerous Map My Run and other workout posts that inundate newsfeeds on Facebook, a psychology group out of Houston TX...
Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
After Meticulously Changing Wound Dressing, Nurse Looks Forward to Doctor Immediately Effing It Up
BIRMINGHAM, AL - After taking 20 minutes to meticulously clean and beautifully redress an elderly patient's dressing over her sacral decubitus wound, nurse Brittany...
Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome
LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...