barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...
airplane faa npo after midnight

Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest

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DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...
hunger pain scale hangry

Joint Commission Releases New Hunger Pain Scale

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CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has just received word, in fact several words, that the Joint Commission will put forth a new hunger pain scale....
patient survey

Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys

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NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...

Secret Location of Nurse Float Pool Discovered, Drained

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BREAKING NEWS - For years large hospitals have used nurse float pools - a team of nurses able to work in multiple specialties and units...
doctor and patient

Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian

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ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient?  Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.  A recent...