Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
The Truth Comes Out: Wound Care Team Actually Doesn’t Care About Wound
MOUNT LAUREL, NJ - Brace yourselves, a long-assumed notion once held about a certain class of health care professionals has just been completely obliterated:...
RN Relieved to Find Out That Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse
HASTINGS, CA – Jenny Pasternak, an ICU nurse, was “very worried” about her shift tonight. “I have been working as a nurse for 14 years...
CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors
ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical Center implemented a new cost-cutting measure that hopes to save...
Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball.
When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...
Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a...