Nursing

‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...

0
COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned!  This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

0
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
vital sign monitor

Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records

0
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...
the view

Patient Leaps to Death After Hospital TV Stuck on The View, Joint Commission Investigating

0
OMAHA, NE - Burpelson Hospital is investigating the apparent suicide of patient Grover Downs on the 13-East psychiatric unit.  Mr. Downs, an 84-year-old man...
Gergio Answering Questions

Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’

0
DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday.  Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines,...

Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...

Contact Precautions Stethoscope Will Be Replaced With Drawing of Stethoscope

0
CHARLESTON, SC - In an effort to cut down on cost and auscultation, hospitals are deciding to change to a illustrated picture of a...
male nurses

10 Phrases Male Nurses Love to Hear

0
Being male and in nursing certainly has its challenges some days.  Most male nurses wake up each day and hope to hear at least...
geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

28
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
Ctrl+Alt+Del

Computer Resuscitated After 6 Rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del

0
NASHVILLE, TN - Gomerblog is happy to report that a code team at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) has successfully resuscitated an old nurses station computer...