Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home
MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage
Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there. One of the...
Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Littmann to Produce Separate Doctor and Nurse Stethoscopes Thanks to ‘The View’
NEW YORK, NY - "Why didn’t we think of that?" was the overwhelming question asked today by executives at Littmann, a company that produces...
Amazing! This surgeon thinks he can start a case at 3pm!
Sacramento, CA - Dr. Atul, a general surgeon, who evidently graduated from medical school thinks he can actually start a surgical case a 3pm!...
Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise
BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of...
Jealous of Nurses Week, Hospital Administrators Plan to Create Administrators Week
ATLANTA, GA - Jealous of all the attention registered nurses (RNs) have received during Nurses Week, hospital administrators nationwide are hoping to create an...