Nursing

Magic 8-Ball

Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance

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NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on...

Mandatory Rectal Tone Checks Reduce Non-Emergent ER Visits

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NEWARK, NJ - Grace Regional's ER physicians complained to leadership for years about the excess number of patients going to the ER for non-emergent...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

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CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
doc hunt

Video Game Review: Doc(ument) Hunt

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Pros / Doc(ument) Hunt is a fun follow-up to Nintendo's Duck Hunt that allows medical providers to channel their rage against paperwork by shooting up flying...

Inventor of “Dimaudid” Takes Company Public, Makes Billions

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NEW YORK, NY - An attending physician of emergency medicine at New York City Hospital recently took her private pharmaceutical company public, making a...
couple kissing

Worst Pick-Up Lines by Medical Subspecialty

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GomerBlog did some research on a hot and steamy topic: What are the worst pick-up lines by subspecialty?  Here goes! Allergy “I like it when you...
pens

Nurses, Doctors on Pace to Lose Over 1 Trillion Pens in 2015

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CHICAGO, IL - In a study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Penmanship (NEJP), researchers have found that healthcare...

Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...

New Medical Unit Quiet Hours Now From 3 PM to 2:59 PM

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to provide much needed peace and quiet for the medical staff, Unit 4G at Nashville Memorial Hospital has...