Nursing

Hospital Builds $100M Gorgeous Atrium Expansion, Nurse Bonuses Cut

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CLEVELAND, OH  – Mercy Hospital has just completed a new addition to their hospital: a grandiose beautiful atrium.  This new expansion is "a beautiful and...
insulin

FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases

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MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country.  "We...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

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ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...

Massachusetts Physician Now 8 Feet Tall Thanks to 80 Physician Extenders!

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NEWTON, MA – Dr. Joe Sefrusso was one of the smaller kids in his neighborhood growing up, always picked last for pickup basketball games....
er nurse

ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead

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ZIP CITY, AL - After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in...
icu patient

Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission

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CHARLESTON, SC - Nurse Missy Croney neglected to tell the charge nurse her patient was deceased because she couldn’t stand the idea of gaining...

Nurses Now Required to Chart When and What They Are Charting

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Tuesday, the American Nurses Association (ANA), the Society for Pediatric Nurses (SPN), and the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables

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With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround. “We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...