Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak, MD, MPH, would be replaced by a 15-year veteran surgical...
Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they honored their patient and family’s unusual wish to make the...
Hospital Administrators Rename RNs to ‘Refreshments and Narcotics’
TAMPA, FL - In order to comply with new government healthcare regulations involving patient satisfaction, hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital have decided to rename registered nurses (RNs) to a more appropriate title, “Refreshments and...
The Medical Professional Development Drinking Game
All health professionals will have to participate in some sort of mandatory professional development from time to time. Whether it’s an organization-wide initiative to "change the culture" or a departmental meeting to cover someone’s...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a small napkin describing relevant aspects of his 14-day course.
The ICU...
Doctors Getting Nursing Degrees to Stay Competitive
BOSTON, MA - Nurse Shannon Wilkens on floor 4 West thought she saw someone she knew in scrubs walking into room 414. "He was tall, I swore he looked familiar. Our charge nurse informed me he was recently...
Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters
As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are:
Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a horrible life. Let's be honest, you got yourself into this.
...
ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking in through triage.
Just as in his restaurant, a single file...
Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines
WASHINGTON, DC - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) just passed a new residency requirement that mandates residents and interns to take a 30-minute power nap between the hours of 1 p.m. and 1:30...
Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately, our nation's emergency department doctors and nurses are plagued with...
