Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today. New studies just released by The Lancet indicate that patient care nears "total neglect" status...
Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine. Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a cracked top, and even "laughs on the inside" according to...
PICU Nurse Enjoys Changing Patient Parameters and Drips Right Before Interns Present Patients on...
SEATTLE, WA - In an exclusive interview with Nursing magazine, Martha Stevens, a prominent pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) nurse at Children’s Hospital admitted that she loves to mess with new medical interns, especially ones she...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life Support (BLS) and Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) classes will...
Surgeon Furious That X-Ray Tech Not Available 2.3 Seconds After Demanding X-Ray in OR
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Henry Witherspoon, a prominent general surgeon in the Houston area, began foaming at the mouth in anger, after an X-ray machine was not immediately available 2.3 seconds after he requested an X-ray...
Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid
CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh, Boy! 0.1 mg, I can hardly wait. Goodbye, pain,” chimed...
Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications
NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it. New studies show that many medication errors occur as nurses...
Secret Location of Nurse Float Pool Discovered, Drained
BREAKING NEWS - For years large hospitals have used nurse float pools - a team of nurses able to work in multiple specialties and units during shortages or call-offs. Archeological evidence near the grave of...
Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital Sign," conceded that pain is actually not a vital sign.
A...
Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...
BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room.
"All the nurses and operating room staff know the surgeon's name and always say Dr....
