Friday, April 19, 2024

News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

anesthesiologist table height

Anesthesiologist Cancels Case After Hearing Patient is ‘Gassy’

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CHARLOTTE, NC - OR 4 at Mercy Hospital was moving “ahead of schedule” according to charge nurse Diane Cingler.  “Turns out we are getting out of here even sooner!”  The surgeon was disappointed he...

Secret Location of Nurse Float Pool Discovered, Drained

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BREAKING NEWS - For years large hospitals have used nurse float pools - a team of nurses able to work in multiple specialties and units during shortages or call-offs.  Archeological evidence near the grave of...

Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved

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NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department with his penis and testicles caught in a sex toy/restraint...

Recently Accepted Medical Student Bombarded by Medical Questions

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ST. LOUIS, MO – 22-year-old Jennifer Wilson found out 2 weeks ago that she was accepted into medical school.  “I was elated!” screamed Wilson.  “I had been running out to the mailbox every day...
Cardio vs Neph

American College of Cardiology Seen Publically Fighting with the American Society of Nephrology

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WASHINGTON, DC - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) is currently refusing to talk to the American Society of Nephrology (ASN).  Sources say the fight rekindled at a medical mixer when the ASN thought the punch bowl needed...

Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!"  Don was passed over for hours with many assuming he was just pulling a practical joke.  The triage nurse...

Colon Loses It, Screams “OK, EVERYBODY OUT!”

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BELLY, HUMAN - Bowel uncharacteristically threw everyone out yesterday after a Mexican named Burrito arrived, according to Stomach.  "I've always thought Colon was an open-minded guy," said Stomach.  Stomach invited Burrito in and according...

Hospital Bans Seeing-Eye Dog from OR, ADA Suit Follows

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FORT WAYNE, IL - Memorial Hospital has barred Dr. Alan Peterson from bringing his seeing-eye dog, Karmen, into the operating room (OR) where he has been employed as an anesthesiologist for the last 8.5 years. ...
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GomerBlog’s Tips for Fixing Healthcare

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Hey, cave dwellers: medicine is broken.  To fix it we're going to need a little elbow grease. Here are GomerBlog's sure-fire Tips for Fixing Healthcare: Stall, until everyone that is complaining reaches age 65 In order to...

Patient Laudy Daughty Seen Partying with Snoop Dogg, Not Causing Any Trouble and Not...

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Dr. Kimbell said, “I’m not concerned because when he rocks the mic he rocks the mic right.”  Mr. Daughty’s endocrinologist Dr. Summers said, “He’s just happy to see all his...