Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Vascular

Vascular surgery satire articles

therapeutic hypothermia

Increased Consults for ‘Cold Extremities’ Occurring During Snowstorm, ER Docs Puzzled

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A shortage of vascular surgeons has been discovered in the north- east due to an absurd amount a vascular consults in the middle of the night for “cold extremities” by...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

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ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing emergency surgery for glove compartment syndrome.  Though the case is...

Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared. “On the vascular surgery service, it is the medical student’s job to get...
Superman Kryptonite subclavian steal

Breaking: Man of Steel Has Subclavian Steal Syndrome

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METROPOLIS, US – Superman is back in the hospital at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC).  This time he presents with syncope and poor circulation in his left hand.  Turns out the Man of Steel has...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

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NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was going about his daily routine performing his third surgery when...
Grand Rounds

Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Earlier this morning vascular surgeon Dr. Emma Wexler gave Grand Rounds to her fellow colleagues at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.  Unfortunately for her and everyone in attendance, her Grand Rounds weren't...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after a panel review at the recent national meeting. “With no major...

General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness

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CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing disruption from patient consciousness.  “Allowing my patients to talk about...
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