MODESTO, CA – A sperm bank in Modesto has confirmed what millions suspected.
Before he was Darth Vader, the leader of the dark side, Anakin was trying to pay his way through Jedi school.
“He stumbled into our facility late one night as we were putting up the going out of business signs,” a representative at the Death Star Sperm Bank told GomerBlog. “At first we weren’t too sure it was going to work, I mean a plan to pay him for each donation? But he put a double guarantee on his work, so we gave it a shot.”
Within weeks the Death Star received a flock of women whom wanted sons. Nine months later, thousands more from all around the galaxy came barging through their doors demanding they too get their hands on this Luke man sauce.
The women had to sign a contract guaranteeing their son would be named Luke. The going rate for Anakin’s baby batter doubled that of a normal donor and it’s been rumored to sell for more than quadruple on the black market.
After the movement gained popularity, Anakin quickly changed his name and went into full hiding in hopes that none of his sons would find him. Due to the shock on his system, he was treated for PTSD using a one phrase coping strategy that his psychologist, Dr. E. Palpatine suggested.
When GomerBlog reached out to Mr. Vader for comment we received a short message: “Luke(s), I am your father.”
