Emergency Medicine

tightrope walker

Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit

KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him that he absolutely cannot wait to hop on this precariously-tied...
strawberry jam

Currant Jelly Stool To Be Now Known as Strawberry Jam Stool

In a joint announcement from the National Institute of Health along with the United States Proctologic Initiative, the clinical finding known as “currant jelly stool” will be formally changed “strawberry jam stool”. Dr. Robert...
social media

Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media

Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain.  He was not happy at all and felt his needs had...
gastroenterologist

GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department at 3 AM on a Saturday morning. "You know, I was...
Watson IBM

IBM’s Watson Suffers Existential Crisis After Shift in ED

CAMDEN, NJ – IBM is reporting that famed super computer Watson suffered one of its biggest setbacks to date.  “After our success in diagnosing pediatric patients with colds and ear infections, we thought it...

Radiologist Adds Arrow Signs To Group Tinder Photos

  Dr. David Strand, a practicing radiologist for 10 years, has recently expanded his 40 hour workweek by helping dating hopefuls navigate the popular dating app Tinder. By adding arrow signs to group photos, Strand...

The Best Places to Cry in the Hospital

Need to have yourself a good cry, but not sure where to go?  Gomerblog is here to help!  We followed 15 interns for an entire year and have come up with a list of...
antibiotic free

Local Organic Mom Pleased to Have All Natural, Antibiotic-Susceptibility-Free Infection

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Local organic mom, Fern Meadow, is pleased that her life-threatening leg infection is pandrug-resistant. “When I spiked a fever and saw red streaks going up my leg I didn’t want to go...
red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that you are taking a blood thinner," Statin asked.  "What is...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations must be considered.  Sutter Health instituted a Dilaudid Salt Lick™ to...

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