Emergency Medicine

Spock Star Trek

Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”

STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical." He confided to both Captain James T. Kirk and Dr. "Bones" McCoy...

The Most Interesting Patient in the World

Humana pays him a co-insurance to go to the ER. His in-network coverage follows him wherever he goes. He drives the ambulance to his own emergencies. He is a universal blood donor and recipient. His d-dimer is never...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) medical student Mac Little summoned his ACLS knowledge...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only (More Bicarb!!) algorithm for cardiopulmonary arrest (see Figure 6 below)....
patient

Nevada Nursing Facility Pioneering Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) Resuscitation

Las Vegas, NV – In the wake of bundled Medicare payments, a Nevada Geriatric Nursing Facility run by Neonatologist turned Geriatrician, Dr. Hugh Mounds has begun to implement Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) resuscitation for his patients. “Our...
Bell Biv Devoe Poison

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: “That Girl is Poison”

BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has officially confirmed with Gomerblog that the "situation is serious" and...
doc hunt

Video Game Review: Doc(ument) Hunt

Pros / Doc(ument) Hunt is a fun follow-up to Nintendo's Duck Hunt that allows medical providers to channel their rage against paperwork by shooting up flying charts. Cons / The fun wears off quickly as you're overwhelmed...

“I’m Never Going to Drink Again” Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s morning.  Typically the phrase will be slurred while holding hands...
DRUNKbnb

Airbnb Introduces DRUNKbnb, ER Lodging for Drunks

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In an effort to expand into the health care sector, Airbnb is now offering drunk people exam rooms for rent in emergency departments nationwide using the mobile app, DRUNKbnb. "It’s common...

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