Internal Medicine

Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of care discussion he ran earlier today went absolutely *f**king fabulous." "If...
slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's bedside in the slim chance that the ventricular fibrillation (v-fib) is...

It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines

SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to report that it has finally untangled all...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking for reasons to tear the medical students and residents apart....

Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact

When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them.  Last week, per the medical chart, Dr. Alex Krane saw someone that had 11...
"Mostly useless!"

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge summary – and only that – lacking the usual several-hundred-page...
bunk bed

Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea

BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented to Maimonides Medical Center with a left femoral neck fracture...
ventilator

Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube

KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate.  The brand-new intern was left alone with the critically-ill patient...

New Intern Checks STAT LFTs Before Writing 1st Order: Tylenol

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In a brilliant moment of decisiveness, confidence, and courage, new star intern, Dr. Lauren Brighteyed, checked liver function tests (LFTs) prior to writing her first order: Tylenol. Dr. Brighteyed started her first...

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