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The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer

CNN Announces New Show: The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer

ATLANTA, GA - "Happening now, we want to welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world.  I'm Wolf Blitzer, and you're...
patient in pain

Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and “High Pain Tolerance” Actually Has a High Pain...

TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...

Daenerys Still Waiting on Prior Authorization to Conquer Westeros

DRAGONSTONE, WESTEROS - Daenerys Targaryen, or the Queen of Dragons, is still waiting on prior authorization to conquer Westeros and rule the Seven Kingdoms.  "I put...
ventilator

Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube

KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate....

New Intern Checks STAT LFTs Before Writing 1st Order: Tylenol

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In a brilliant moment of decisiveness, confidence, and courage, new star intern, Dr. Lauren Brighteyed, checked liver function tests (LFTs) prior...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Consults IT, Tries Turning Heart Off Then Back On Again

Cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Richard White is always willing to collaborate with the health care team so he called St, Francis Hospital’s help desk today...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds

AUSTIN, TX - It is well-known that coffee stimulates the morning number twos in about 30% of people who drink the life-sustaining nectar.  A...
cheetos sign

New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain

Anderson, CA –In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into their...
video

New Movantik (the poop medication) Commercial – Parody

Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
avalanche past medical history chief complaint

Buried Under Avalanche of Past Medical History, Rescue Underway to Save Chief Complaint

NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nascent intern Jesse D'Amato was only part-way through the opening line of his history of present illness (HPI) when supervising Tulane...

New Study Finds CRNAs Just as Good at Taking Breaks as Anesthesiologists

BOSTON, MA – A new study published in the Journal of the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists found that CRNA’s are just as proficient...
doctor in white coat

Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat

ST. LOUIS, MO – Military training regardless of service branch has been known for its physical and mental demands.  To further push the psychological...
CDC headquarters, ignore, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn

CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”

ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...

TV Show “Doctor Who” Changes Name to “Nurse Who” After Realizing There Are No...

LONDON, ENGLAND - The producers of Doctor Who made a huge mistake: they cast a woman to be the next Doctor Who.  After Jodie Whittaker's...

New Attending Receives First Paycheck, Transforms into Fully Developed Republican

WATERLOO, IA - Shortly after receiving his first paycheck, Trent Perry, a physician in his first year of practice, finally emerged from his cocoon...
ex fixed ex fix

Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix

SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical...
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