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physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
estrogen toxicity

Estrogen Toxicity Spectrum Disorder

A recent study by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has identified categorized the strange personality and behavior changes of male nursing...
thoughts prayers

Trying to Ration Its Supply, Palliative Care Team Offers Thoughts or Prayers But Not...

BROOKLYN, NY - In an attempt to preserve supplies and not dole them out like Halloween candy, a palliative care team at Maimonides Medical Center...
viral antibiotics

After Post Goes Viral, Gomerblog Consults ID for Antibiotics

CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has consulted infectious diseases specialist Dr. Johann Phlegmon at University of Chicago to help investigate why one of its posts...
nurse float pool

Nurses required to take a swim test after a nurse drowns in the Float...

Kearney, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital. Staff at KHH were saddened to learn that a long time nurse Lara Kennedy drowned in the nursing...
patient

Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI

AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he...

Surgeon excited to watch prep dry

It’s no secret that Dr. Mike Flannigan likes to watch the prep dry on all his patients. According to numerous sources he is quite...
hangnail hangnails

For Hangnails, The American Academy of Dermatology Now Recommends Hand Amputation

WASHINGTON, DC - Citing a more aggressive approach to the management of hangnails, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) is now recommending hand amputation as...
angry man

Confrontation Visual Fields Ends in Triple Homicide

CHICAGO, IL – Tragedy struck a quiet neighborhood eye clinic last week after what began as a routine visual field confrontation ended in a triple...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle

God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning

HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make...

Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room

British Columbia: 43 year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took 2x the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...
maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally Invasive Surgery

Kearney, NE - Kind Samaritan Hospital. Dr. Billy Ali Colic pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a Wide Open Colo-pancreatico-prosto-aoritco-doudenostomy-ostomy...
trump pardons anesthesia

Trump Pardons Anesthesia

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stating that he wanted to "give this pardon thing a test run... for no particular reason," President of the United States...
crushes lung exam

Doctor Absolutely Crushes the Lung Exam This Morning

AUSTIN, TX - The patient's lungs never stood a chance.  After some idle chit-chat about symptoms of dyspnea and wheeze, hospitalist Miguel Ruiz proceeded...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Know Your Hospital Diets

It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones. Clear...
fellowship

ACGME Approves New Consultology Fellowship

Chicago, I.L. In this long-due announcement, the ACGME has approved a new Consultology Fellowship. While Consultology has been informally practiced by hospitalists for several...
Ortho

Orthopod Agrees to Work Pro Bono, Thought It Was Pro Bones

CHARLOTTE, NC - Recent orthopedic surgery graduate, Dr. Henry Hammer, graciously agreed to include 60 hours per week of pro bono work in his...
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