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CNN Announces New Show: The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer
ATLANTA, GA - "Happening now, we want to welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world. I'm Wolf Blitzer, and you're...
Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and “High Pain Tolerance” Actually Has a High Pain...
TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...
Daenerys Still Waiting on Prior Authorization to Conquer Westeros
DRAGONSTONE, WESTEROS - Daenerys Targaryen, or the Queen of Dragons, is still waiting on prior authorization to conquer Westeros and rule the Seven Kingdoms. "I put...
Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube
KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate....
New Intern Checks STAT LFTs Before Writing 1st Order: Tylenol
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In a brilliant moment of decisiveness, confidence, and courage, new star intern, Dr. Lauren Brighteyed, checked liver function tests (LFTs) prior...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Consults IT, Tries Turning Heart Off Then Back On Again
Cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Richard White is always willing to collaborate with the health care team so he called St, Francis Hospital’s help desk today...
Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds
AUSTIN, TX - It is well-known that coffee stimulates the morning number twos in about 30% of people who drink the life-sustaining nectar. A...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
Anderson, CA –In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into their...
New Movantik (the poop medication) Commercial – Parody
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
Buried Under Avalanche of Past Medical History, Rescue Underway to Save Chief Complaint
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nascent intern Jesse D'Amato was only part-way through the opening line of his history of present illness (HPI) when supervising Tulane...
New Study Finds CRNAs Just as Good at Taking Breaks as Anesthesiologists
BOSTON, MA – A new study published in the Journal of the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists found that CRNA’s are just as proficient...
Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat
ST. LOUIS, MO – Military training regardless of service branch has been known for its physical and mental demands. To further push the psychological...
CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”
ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...
TV Show “Doctor Who” Changes Name to “Nurse Who” After Realizing There Are No...
LONDON, ENGLAND - The producers of Doctor Who made a huge mistake: they cast a woman to be the next Doctor Who. After Jodie Whittaker's...
New Attending Receives First Paycheck, Transforms into Fully Developed Republican
WATERLOO, IA - Shortly after receiving his first paycheck, Trent Perry, a physician in his first year of practice, finally emerged from his cocoon...
Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix
SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical...
