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Surgeon Rips on Nurses, Hospitalists, and ER Docs, and Twitter Delivers a Massive Takedown

TWITTERVERSE - A colorectal surgeon posted a rant about the care he received in an odd location "Psychology Today." The rant, which since has...

Congress Passes Canadian Health Care Act: “Let’s Just Mooch Off the Canadians”

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After the House of Representatives postponed the vote on the American Health Care Act (H.R. 1628) yesterday afternoon, a bipartisan group of congressmen...
Arrival heptopods orthopods Louise Banks

“Arrival” Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods

MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...
call button nursing lockout interval

American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals

SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call...
Lumbar Puncture LP Spinal Tap

Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes

Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1 Procedure: This is Spinal Tap. Date/Time: Optional. Indication: Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea. Resident: Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1. Attending: Yes. A time-out was completed to...
surgeon biopsy malignant

Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant

BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...
obs observation unit

Patient Transferred from Observation Unit to Intervention Unit

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Physician assistant (PA) Iris Jones thought it was just another day in the Observation Unit or Obs Unit.  She made...
cranial nerves

Gomerblog’s First Annual Cranial Nerve Power Rankings

Have you ever wondered which cranial nerves are most important?  Our brains are only so big, how do you know which nerves are worth...
upset patient

Repeatedly Yelling “NURSE!!!” Less Effective Than Using Call Bell, Study Finds

A new study published in The Lancet shows that using the call bell to get your nurse’s attention is 25% more effective than repeatedly...
medicine abbreviations

Ophtho’s Guide to Internal Medicine Abbreviations

Not long ago we asked our Medicine colleagues to help us learn about ophtho abbreviations, which we did.  Time to reverse the roles: Gomerblog...
Match Day

Hillary Clinton Suffers Huge Loss as She Goes Unmatched on Match Day

CHAPPAQUA, NY - In what can only be described as the biggest disappointment of Hillary Clinton’s storied life, Gomerblog just learned Clinton has gone unmatched...

Anesthesiologist Behind Drape Plays Peakaboo with Surgeon

NORFOLK, VA - Anesthesiologist and master entertainer Thomas Kingston couldn't believe he forgot his handmade puppets for his usual daily puppet show to entertain...
doctors and administrators clapping

Breaking: Administrators Still Clapping Over Stupid Sh*t

DALLAS, TX - In an effort to learn more about the parasites collectively known as hospital administrators, undercover Gomerblog reporters have found that today,...

Mid-Case and Looking for a Workout, Orthopod Asks Scrub Tech for Dumbbells

LOS ANGELES, CA - Realizing that this little-old lady's hip replacement wasn't giving him the adequate workout and reps he needed, orthopedic surgeon Brock...
CDC headquarters, ignore, anti-vaxxer cooties

CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs

ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so!  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
ACGME burnout

ACGME Limits Resident Work Hours to 168 Per Week

CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to increase resident satisfaction and curb the current epidemic of burnout in health care professionals, the Accreditation Council...
white coats

Respiratory Techs, Dietitians Enraged Over New Policy Allowing Janitors to Wear White Coats

PORTLAND, OR - A new policy has caused a controversy at a local hospital, with multiple departments banding together against the measure which now allows...