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Trump Offers Med Students Golden Opportunity as Seat-Fillers for Inauguration

Washington, DC—As 4th year medical students consumed with residency interviews and Match Day are now officially useless, Trump offers them a golden opportunity to witness...

Pain Level 0/10 Correlates with GCS 3 and Respiratory Rate 0

Morgantown, West Virginia--Multiple studies have examined the higher end of the pain scale, but there is a dearth of information regarding the achievement of...
Spock Star Trek

Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”

STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical." He confided...
brachial plexus

Med Student Draws Brachial Plexus, Big Whoop

LAS VEGAS, NV - In continued news that falls under the category of "who the f**k cares," second-year UNLV student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones is at it...
pina coladas

Ortho Likes Pina Coladas, Getting Caught in the Rain

SANTA MONICA, CA - In a stunning development that has taken place just over the past few minutes, Gomerblog has learned that Ortho likes...
ASN logo

Nephrologists Still Unclear What the Guy in the ASN Logo is Doing

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A groundbreaking poll conducted by the American Society of Nephrology (ASN) earlier this month revealed that 98% of its members "have...
acgme

Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction

Tucson, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist, Henry Stutzman, developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating...

The Most Interesting Patient in the World

Humana pays him a co-insurance to go to the ER. His in-network coverage follows him wherever he goes. He drives the ambulance to his own emergencies. He...
residents

ACGME Now Requires Residents be Given One Hour a Week to Reflect on Their...

In a controversial new ruling, the ACGME has decreed that all residents must be given at least one uninterrupted hour each week to reflect...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
external fixator

Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator

LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized...
tricarboxylic acid cycle TCA cycle dying patients kreb cycle

Med Student Wastes Dying Patient’s Last Moments on Earth Talking About Damn Krebs Cycle

LAS VEGAS, NV - F**K!  The Snout is at it again!  Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) med student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones has been...

Gomerguy Plague Doctor Named Head of Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Institute

Cleveland, OH—In response to public outcry after an anti-vaccination blog post, and not at all determined by The Cleveland Clinic’s own moral compass, Dr....
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Elite HIPAA Stormtroopers Raid Hospital, Kill 48, Secure 1 Chart

BOCA RATON, FL - An elite HIPAA Stormtrooper unit raided Madre De Díos Hospital when it was alerted that a nurse had left a chart...
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