Pathology

pencil by medical specialty

Describe this Pencil by Medical Specialty

Your specialty of choice fosters a certain way of doing things. We polled residents from several different specialties and asked them to describe this pencil. Family Medicine: I’m already behind on my descriptions for four...
blood, pool

Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood this past week.  Officials have concluded that someone mistakenly added...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At first I thought it was just temporary, but it just...

Want Patient’s Info Sent to Personal Phone? Upgrade EMR to “Hillary Mode”

OAK PARK, IL - Dr. Demi Cratt, growing increasingly frustrated with logging in to review patient’s electronic medical records, finally called her hospital’s help desk for assistance.  She was excited to discover a new...

Physician Gives Herself Tuberculosis so She Doesn’t Have to Get Any More Flippin’ PPDs

LITTLE ROCK, AK - University Hospital pulmonologist Roberta Koch has had it with getting yearly PPDs, so she has come up with what she sees as a foolproof method of never having to receive...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of doctors around the country voted to leave medicine this Saturday....

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy

RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the world’s first successful CT-guided chart biopsy. “Words cannot express this moment,”...
medical examiner

Medical Examiners Lobby for Law Requiring Forensic Crime Shows to be in “Smell-O-Vision”

WASHINGTON, DC - “An important aspect that pervades every nook and cranny of our career is the putrid stench of rotting human flesh, and we would prefer that people and their noses really know...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

Doctors and Nurses use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum MD shares the...

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