Trump to Appoint Dr. Oz as Surgeon General

WASHINGTON, DC - As President-elect Donald Trump assembles his new White House team, sources confirm his appointment of fellow reality television star Dr. Mehmet Oz as Surgeon General. The Surgeon General of the United States serves...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the Hospitalist General of the United States Amanda Jackson for medical...

Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes

Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK!  Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre? Cons / You can't actually use these stethoscopes as headphones. The One Liner / Despite...

Study Confirms Peak Time to Present with Chronic Complaint is 2 AM

CHICAGO, IL - Researchers from the Center for Emergency Room Usage and Medical Examination Network (CERUMEN) shockingly discover the most common time to present to the emergency room with a chronic medical problem is 2...
hipster

Hipster Loses Left Testicle Due to Excessively Tight Pants

WILLIAMSBURG, NY - Hipster Fletcher Jones was admitted to the Emergency Room last night with numbness and tingling around the groin.  The incident occurred after riding his fixed-gear bike around Brooklyn.  When Dr. Randy...

Know Your White Coats

The physician white coat comes with a strong sense of entitlement. At $3,000 tuition per square inch, this is the most expensive coat that also carries the distinction of being completely useless in winter.  It...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding family and other loved ones that "friends don't let friends drive...
hospital coupons

Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale

With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to get creative for Black Friday this year. Taking a page...
morgue

Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”

CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith, 96, was transferred to the hospital morgue after being deemed...
ventilator

2016 Updated Laws of the House of God

If you haven't read The House of God yet and you are in medicine, stop reading our blog and go read it.  It really should be a prerequisite to medical school.  If you have...

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