Primary Care

patient in pain

Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and “High Pain Tolerance” Actually Has a High Pain...

TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening in Ms. Abby Nermal.  “When she introduced herself to me...
cheetos sign

New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain

Anderson, CA –In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into their diagnostic decision making algorithm. The high costs of abdominal and...
video

New Movantik (the poop medication) Commercial – Parody

Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid crisis. Here was the original unedited ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNQ3sxvslhQ

New Attending Receives First Paycheck, Transforms into Fully Developed Republican

WATERLOO, IA - Shortly after receiving his first paycheck, Trent Perry, a physician in his first year of practice, finally emerged from his cocoon of liberalism as a fully developed Republican.  When asked to...
glove intern millionaire

Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire

PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in his first week on the job like some kind of...
55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has approved 55-hour ENERGY drinks effective immediately since improved work conditions...

Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation

BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm.  Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as the go-to option for women wanting a more natural birthing...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it keep it a little under wraps right now," Dr. Ken...
medical residency

Primary Care Doctors, Explained

Primary: from the Latin primus, as in of first rank, importance or value.  Patients should see this type of doctor FIRST for all problems before ever considering seeing a specialist or subspecialist.  A competent...

10 Photos From the 2017 American Diabetes Association Conference They Don’t Want You to...

The American Diabetes Association (ADA) was relentlessly mocked on Twitter over the weekend for asking conference attendees to remove any tweets that contain photography of the conference. This was viewed as a threat to open...

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