Primary Care

red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that you are taking a blood thinner," Statin asked.  "What is...

Know Your Stethoscopes

1. The Disposable Stethoscope This stethoscope can be found in contact precaution rooms, the ICU, or the pre-op area of an ophthalmology clinic.  It’s made of lightweight aluminum designed to pick up as much ambient...

New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely

BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday regarding a newly-developed surgical technique for weight loss that bypasses...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right now to start a violent coughing spell right into his...

Top 10 Reasons United is Forcibly Dragging Doctors Off Planes

THE INTERNET - United Airlines has come under fire after video surfaced of a doctor being dragged off a plane due to the airline overbooking a flight.  Gomerblog did some digging, and it turns out...
shoulder pain

How Not to Answer Doctors’ Questions

This statement: Is not a helpful answer to this: Uber. What brings you in today? It’s in the computer. What is your PCP’s name? While I was talking to Aunt Suzy. When did you symptoms start? In Chicago. Where does it hurt? 12/10. How would...
hospital door cms

New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time

WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys.  Realizing the opportunity to capture more data while ensuring emergency medicine physicians meet patient’s...
constipation

Joint Commission Creates New “Primary Constipation Center” Certification

OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation. "Constipation affects nearly 4 million Americans and accounts for about $7 billion in health care...
fullest code

Patient to be “Fullest Code Possible”

KEARNEY, NE - In what should not be considered abnormal in our day and age, the family of Billy Rubin demanded that the 89-year-old resident of a local SNF and frequent flier at Kind...
bad diet

Hospital Introduces “American Diet,” Patient Satisfaction Soars

LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet.  It debuted on the menus and order sets alongside therapeutic hospital...

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