Surgery

nosebleeds epistaxis

Rangers Fan with Seats in Nosebleeds Exsanguinates from Epistaxis

NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog is sad to report that 68-year-old lifelong Rangers fan, Michael Richter, unfortunately passed away midway through the third period of last night's bout between the New York Rangers and Montreal...
foley

Medical School Approves 3rd Year Surgical Rotation as Indication for Foley

IOWA CITY, IA – Carver College of Medicine has taken a bold stance on the need for urinary catheterization to prevent recurrent acute kidney injury (AKI) in third-year medical students on their surgical rotations....
Grand Rounds

Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today

LOS ANGELES, CA - Earlier this morning vascular surgeon Dr. Emma Wexler gave Grand Rounds to her fellow colleagues at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.  Unfortunately for her and everyone in attendance, her Grand Rounds weren't...
Stryker drone

Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his attention to preventive health.  Just yesterday, Price deployed a brand...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will be deafening. Cardiologist: Stethoscopes.  If you can’t hear heart sounds without...
ophtho abbreviations

An Internist’s Guide to Ophtho Abbreviations

Ophthalmology has so many alien abbreviations, it's like they have their own specialty.  Thanks to the recent discovery of a missing piece of the Rosetta Stone, we have recently gained some insight into their...

Developmental Milestones for a Baby Orthopod

As a proud new parent, you may be distracted by everything it takes to be successful.  However, if you pay enough attention to your baby's developmental milestones, you can tell if he or she...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You see, Hammersley has just spotted a true anomaly walking the...
gauze

Mildly Annoyed Surgeon Throws 4×4 Gauze Across Operating Room

KEOKUK, IA – According to reports from Mercy Hospital, local general surgeon Greg McKelvey became so mildly frustrated by the OR staff, that he threw a single 4 x 4-inch piece of gauze across the operating...
gauze for abscess

Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun

PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital.  After a promising pilot program with a cinnamon prototype, medical...

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