Surgery

nursing diagnosis

Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...

CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American Medical Association (AMA) and the American Nurses Association (ANA), 99.8% of...
ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80.  “This is a surprise to all of us,” announced David Parke, President...

Birds Wondering Why Med Student Leaving for Work So Early

FRONT YARD – When third-year medical student Krista Adams left for the hospital at 4:15 AM this morning, multiple birds in the area were left wondering why on Earth any human would get up...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the United States a "whopping, several-million mg dose" of Narcan (naloxone)...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was going about his daily routine performing his third surgery when...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive eye roll.  Colleagues reported that the veteran nurse had just...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right now to start a violent coughing spell right into his...
intubate ear canal

Tired Anesthesiologist Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Ear Canal

NORFOLK, VA - Once again fatigue has caused an unfortunate medical error, this time for anesthesiologist Gerald Williams.  Wiped out from a tireless overnight call, Williams did something that has never before happened in the...

Kentucky Derby, Tired of His Pathetic 2 Minute Performance, Busted for Viagra Use

Louisville, KY—Weary of being referred to as “the most exciting 2 minutes in sports,” the Kentucky Derby was busted this week for attempting to use Viagra to enhance performance. Officials at the Derby grew...

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