Thursday, September 17, 2020

Surgery

Hospitals forced to tap their strategic reserves of breast augmentation supplies

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For the past several weeks, the Covid 19 pandemic has had a devastating affect on the citizens of the entire world. No one has been more negatively impacted than our nations celebrities. Without access to...

Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks with Pocket Watches

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NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to the Medical Center on their first day, but instead to...
surgeon operating

Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room

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Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient. Neurosurgeon Dr. Shortarms commented, "Yea, I mean you just can't trust...
ehr

EHR team regrets letting clinicians vote on project name as BONER upgrade goes live

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Multiple Electronic Health Systems consultants expressed regret Monday over a poorly conceived plan to allow clinicians to vote on their system's project name as BONER upgrade goes live. "I believe the idea came from one...

Journal of Urology to be renamed “Balls”

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In a controversial move, the American Urological Association (AUA) has changed the name of their prestigious Journal of Urology to Balls. The unanticipated change by the AUA was unveiled without prelude in the latest...

AAOS: Osteoporosis Renamed Bone Failure

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“Bone failure. It’s the new hotness. Now let’s start taking it seriously!”
orthopedic surgeons

Ortho Calls Temporary Truce in Turf War

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Dr T.K. Anderson, chief of orthopedics at Salter & Harris Memorial Hospital made a stunning announcement in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. “We would like to announce a temporary truce with several other...

Doing His Part: Urologist Unveils Telehealth Prostate Exams

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With the COVID-19 pandemic threatening to overwhelm healthcare systems, physicians have had to get creative in the ways that they care for patients. Recently, I had a chance to speak with one pioneer, Dr....

Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer

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WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his Corona Beer. "You...

Big Pharma Launches Implantable Throat Filter Against Coronavirus

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A major pharmaceutical company has launched a device to fight against the COVID-19 pandemic. The state-of-the-art implantable throat filter was unveiled at a product launch here today. Dr. T.R. Akea, the CEO, gave a...
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