Surgery

Ortho

Orthopod Agrees to Work Pro Bono, Thought It Was Pro Bones

CHARLOTTE, NC - Recent orthopedic surgery graduate, Dr. Henry Hammer, graciously agreed to include 60 hours per week of pro bono work in his new contract.  "I love bones," he tells the Gomerblog team,...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty bucks says this kid's going into Orthopedic Surgery. "I mean, he's what six?"...
picking nose

ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate

ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking away in horror, unable to bear the sight of 38-year-old...

Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation

LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient George Franks, a 65-year-old vasculopath and VA legend, as her...
bunk bed

Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea

BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented to Maimonides Medical Center with a left femoral neck fracture...
Master Chief halo

Breaking: Halo’s Master Chief Placed in Halo to Immobilize C-Spine

EARTH - Gomerblog has learned in its time travel to the 26th century that Halo hero and Spartan super soldier Master Chief has been placed in a halo vest to help immobilize his C-spine....

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Consults IT, Tries Turning Heart Off Then Back On Again

Cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Richard White is always willing to collaborate with the health care team so he called St, Francis Hospital’s help desk today to ask for a consult on his difficult patient. “Hi, tech...
ex fixed ex fix

Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix

SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical Center orthopod Brock Hammersley made history today by becoming the...

General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery

Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery.  “Back in the day, our forefathers controlled everything.  We did...
Salivation Army

Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need

LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending this past week has produced over 5 billion gallons of oral...

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