Surgery

external fixator

Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator

LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized it for now with an external fixation device or external...
pilot cleared landing

Pilot Consults Medicine, Asks if Plane Cleared for Landing

DELTA 240 - Just as he started his descent into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after a long transatlantic flight, Captain Jack Wilson asked if "Medicine was on the plane" and if so "was the plane cleared...
shoulder pain

A Cardiologist Explains: Shoulder Pain

Hello, and good afternoon to you.  Of course, I know it must be the afternoon because I don't see patients in the morning or evening or weekend anymore. At any rate, I shall discuss with...
frog, tadpole

Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum

HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the approach of winter.  He felt it lingered a little too...
surgery not indicated

Surgeons Declare “Surgery Not Indicated in 2017”

CHICAGO, IL - Close the operating rooms!  Surgeons worldwide have declared that "surgery is not indicated in 2017," instead calling this upcoming year "the year of conservative management."  This announcement comes after widespread concerns...
doc hunt

Video Game Review: Doc(ument) Hunt

Pros / Doc(ument) Hunt is a fun follow-up to Nintendo's Duck Hunt that allows medical providers to channel their rage against paperwork by shooting up flying charts. Cons / The fun wears off quickly as you're overwhelmed...
isolation gown

How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown

If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky.  It might be easier to put on a straitjacket.  Here's our step-by-step guide, walking you through each step and...
Q-tips ENT ear swabs

ENT Excommunicated for Using Q-Tips

PROVIDENCE, RI - Local Ear, Nose & Throat (ENT) surgeon Dr. Juan Cabrera was been excommunicated by the American Board of Otolaryngology (ABO) for using Q-tips to clean his own ears.  He was reported to the...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new drum kit, something that he's been dreaming of getting for...

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