Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

Nurse Wants Everyone to Know: Hey, My Eyes Are Up Here

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Nurse Sarah, an enthusiastic, perky new recruit, would like her male supervisors and patients to know, “Hey, my eyes are up here!” After a disappointing start to nursing school with a set...
placement medicine

“Hospital Medicine” Renamed “Placement Medicine”

PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be renamed Placement Medicine in order to best reflect current practices.  The...
CPR dummy manikin

Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life

NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful resuscitate a CPR dummy (or CPR manikin) back to human life....
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Ativan is the best medicine with laughter falling...
hunger pain scale hangry

Joint Commission Releases New Hunger Pain Scale

CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has just received word, in fact several words, that the Joint Commission will put forth a new hunger pain scale.  This comes as the Joint Commission acknowledges that hunger pain is...

Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating hospital buildings with their new fleet of UberGURNEY vehicles, giving...

Spooky: Pyxis Swallows Nurse Whole, Rescue Underway

NEW YORK, NY - In unexpected and unfortunate news today, floor nurse Yelena Ivanovic was accidentally swallowed by her Pyxis machine shortly after engaging the fingerprint identification system, which is puzzling since she even...
trespasses, nurses station

Doctor Trespasses into Nurses Station, Shot on Sight

NORFOLK, VA - Internist Jeff Jenkins is face down and comatose on the fourth floor of Norfolk Medical Center after being shot in the buttocks with a Haldol blowdart this morning for trespassing into the nurses...
stage 5 pressure ulcer

Wound Care Nurse Calls Pressure Ulcer a Rare “Stage 5”

BOSTON, MA - Nurse Amy Johnson has seen some pretty bad sacral decubitus ulcers in her long career as a wound care nurse, but this new consult takes the cake.  In her own words,...