Psychiatry

butterflies stomach

Nervous Patient’s KUB Shows Butterflies in Her Stomach

LOS ANGELES, CA - A 44-year-old female was preparing for a big work-related speech when she presented to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with anxiety and nausea worse than what is typical for her known fear...

News in Brief: Groundhog Won’t Even Come Out This Year

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - In a startling turn of events, groundhog Punxsutawney Phil is refusing to emerge from his burrow this year, claiming he doesn’t even want to “see the f**king daylight.” Traditionally if he emerges and...
manic Monday Egyptian

Psych Agrees: “It’s Just Another Manic Monday”

NEW ORLEANS, LA - Well, the weekend is over and it's the start of a new work week.  For Tulane psychiatrist Curtis Loder, his Monday schedule has once again been frontloaded with patients who...

“I’m Never Going to Drink Again” Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s morning.  Typically the phrase will be slurred while holding hands...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Ativan is the best medicine with laughter falling...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding family and other loved ones that "friends don't let friends drive...
zdoggmd

“Butthurt by ZDoggMD” Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis

LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently.  Diagnosis: Butthurt.  That’s right, butthurt in the mental sense, not physical.  The magnitude of the...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have increased by 23,000,000% in the past week as Americans brace...
cocktails

GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind

LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild stomach upset, looking for something to help settle his nerves....

179,026FansLike
19,360FollowersFollow
16,476FollowersFollow