Thawed Medieval Surgeon Still Prescribing Too Much Bloodletting Despite All the Evidence
MUNICH, GERMANY - Lord Lockwell was recently discovered in the Bavarian Alps near the German-Switzerland border in a small town called Konstanz. Due to great scientific advances in thawing, cloning, and re-animation of woolly...
Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain
LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain. This emergency pain occurring to Ms. Homes has been reoccurring for the past...
ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014
WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition. Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD) is...
Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...
CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist. "I've got to meet him!" Sandy Rosenbleeth confided to her long-time...
Medicine Consult on the Fence About Restarting HCTZ
ATLANTA, GA - The tension is mounting on the surgical ward at Emory University Hospital as Dr. Christopher Roberts of Hospital Medicine remains on the fence about restarting a patient’s 12.5 mg dose of...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been an up-and-coming weight-loss empire, with many Hollywood success stories.
Perennial weight-gainer/weight-loser,...
Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged
UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary. The patient, who has quickly become known as Dictionary Guy, led to...
Ask a Hospitalist
Dear Hospitalist,
I’ve been having chest pain for the past three weeks. I get it right in the middle of the chest, it's worse when I move around, but goes away when I sit down...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results. "This is truly remarkable," said medical expert Dr. Tom Hutch....
