Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Anesthesiology

joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...
Sudoku

Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3

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PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for a knee scope, when he suddenly needed help.  “Right away...
Surgery

Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury

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ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the anesthesiologists on the other side of the sterile drape were...

Anesthesiologists Cannot Find Reason to Cancel Case Right Before Shift Change

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SPOKANE, WA – In a stunning development, believed to be the first of its kind here at Southern Spokane University Hospital, a patient is currently being brought into the OR without a single word...
IV catheter

Developing: Patient Professes “Deep Hatred of Needles”

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RENO, NV - GomerBlog was first on the scene at a preoperative holding bay outside of the main OR, where a patient about to undergo surgery made a fascinating proclamation.  GomerBlog was investigating a recent...
anesthesia patient

PACU Institutes ‘No Repeat’ Policy

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CREST BUTTE, MT - The policy review committee at Nondenominational Faith Memorial Medical Center has instituted a “No Repeat” policy in their Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU).  The chairperson of the committee says that this...

Local Man Relieved He Was Able to Yell at His Surgeon Just Before Going...

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HERSHEY, PA – Early reports are coming in that local man, Frank Demmer, chewed out his surgeon in pre-operative bay five.  "I’m just happy I was able to yell at him before I went...
routine ECG

Breaking News: Anesthesiologist Manages to Place EKG Leads Out of Surgical Field

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LOUISIANA - GomerBlog is excited to bring you breaking news that is just being reported from Memorial Hospital in operating room 4.  An anesthesiologist, who we can’t confirm the name as of yet so we will just...

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

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PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed a bull shark. Chomping ensued. Despite the loss of all four limbs, Skip managed...