American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR
MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping...
Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they occasionally wish patients wouldn't be so lazy and unmotivated, and...
RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E
ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not...
Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Anesthesiologist Ecstatic to Get 2 AM Call to Place IV, and Again at 3...
MEMPHIS, TN - Dr. Beverly Mascinoni, the on-call anesthesiologist last night, was ecstatic to get a call at 2 AM to place an IV. ...
Road to the Final Four Best Lifestyle Medical Specialties
INDIANA - After another exciting and grueling March Madness Hospital Edition, with some upsets and bracket busters, the Final Four Medical Specialties with the...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...