Anesthesiology

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
or-drapes

Surgery & Anesthesia Ready to Take Things to the Next Level & Remove the...

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gossip alert!  According to our sources, Surgery & Anesthesia in OR 5 are ready to take things to the next...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in...

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

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NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was...
George Washington cherry tree

George Washington: ‘I Cannot Tell a Lie… Anesthesia Cut Down the Cherry Tree’

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MOUNT VERNON, VA - New historical notes and rough drafts by Mason Locke Weemes, who helped write the first autobiography about George Washington,...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist Protests ‘Talking To Patients Is Not In My Job Description’

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LOS ANGELES, CA- Dr. Jacob Coates, who is a practicing neuro-anesthesiologist for last 18 years, is protesting against awake craniotomies. "This is beyond my comfort...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had announced "La La Land"...
surgeon

Regional Anesthesia Blamed for 20 Minute Case Delay Despite GYN Intern Taking Over 1...

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SAVANNAH, GA - It is reported yesterday that an anesthesiologist, while working with an anesthesia resident, delayed an operating room by taking an inappropriate...