Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time
HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration.
“How many times at...
Anesthesiologist Calls Code Blue in Operating Room For True Emergency
SAN DIEGO, CA - Today, a disastrous situation was narrowly averted at Gastric Bypass Takeback Hospital, when a code blue was announced to Operating...
AANA: ‘Despite Having Much Less Training CRNAs Also Equivalent to Neurosurgeons, Fighter Pilots, and...
PARK RIDGE, IL - The American Association of Nurse Anesthetists (AANA) ruffled a lot of feathers and raised a lot of logical thinking...
Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status
DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status. "Someone’s got...
Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal
NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary...
United Airlines Replaces Oxygen Masks with Endotracheal Tubes
CHICAGO, IL - No stranger to controversy, United Airlines has thrown itself into the headlines once again by announcing that it will be replacing...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...