Anesthesiology

blood

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

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MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room...
DJ

Outpatient Surgery Center Hires DJs Instead of OR Nurses

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IBIZA, SPAIN - The party is just getting started at Ibiza Surgical Specialists, a private outpatient surgery center, now that new OR nurses have...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
Pyxis machine broken glass

Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine.  Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a...

Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10."  Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...
surgery

New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls

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BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging...
sudoku mission accomplished

Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube

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BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough?  Not so fast.  An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

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TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...