New ACS Recommendations for CRC Screening Forces Anesthesia to Bear the Burden of Providing...
On May 30, 2018, the American Cancer Society announced that it will be updating its colorectal cancer screening guideline such that all adults age...
Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time
In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.”
Despite best...
23 Million Americans Watch Royal Wedding, No Decline In Patient Care Among ROAD Docs...
With the estimation that 23 million Americans had their eyes glued to the television to watch the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince...
Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names
The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci,...
Everyone in the Hospital Knew Anesthesia’s Real Name All Along
With the COVID-19 outbreak, health systems worldwide are coming up with plans to maximize their resources in the face of this pandemic. With COVID-19...
Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction
TUCSON, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist Henry Stutzman developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating...
Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
Judas Blames Betrayal of Jesus on Anesthesia
JERUSALEM - Judas Iscariot, who notoriously betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, has absolved himself from one of the darkest moments in the Bible by...