anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia

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HOUSTON, TX - The New England Patriots came back from a 25-point deficit to complete the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, winning 34-28...

COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...
IV catheter

Anesthesiologist Ecstatic to Get 2 AM Call to Place IV, and Again at 3...

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MEMPHIS, TN - Dr. Beverly Mascinoni, the on-call anesthesiologist last night, was ecstatic to get a call at 2 AM to place an IV. ...
IV catheter

Developing: Patient Professes “Deep Hatred of Needles”

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RENO, NV - GomerBlog was first on the scene at a preoperative holding bay outside of the main OR, where a patient about to undergo...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
anesthesiologist intubating

Anesthesiologist Calls Code Blue in Operating Room For True Emergency

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Today, a disastrous situation was narrowly averted at Gastric Bypass Takeback Hospital, when a code blue was announced to Operating...
water balloon

Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water...

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BACKGROUND: The superiority of Lactated Ringer’s solution (LR) or normal saline (NS) in fluid resuscitation in a variety of medical and surgical scenarios remains...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

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TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...