Anesthesiology

Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body

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CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become...
Sudoku

Breaking: ASA Blackballs Anesthesiologist Who Dislikes Sudoku

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Not sugarcoating it and calling it the equivalent of medical treason, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey Plagenhoef...
surgery

New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls

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BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging...

Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of...
couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

132
Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the...

Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery

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VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy,...

Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Sudoku

COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
dermabond surgical glue

Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product

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Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices.  In response,...