Anesthesiology

Anesthesia resident lauded for poise during intubation, admits he had no clue what happened

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PORTLAND, OR - Ms. Wee was prepped for her biannual joint replacement in OR 4, but this time would be different. Anesthesia resident Dr....
surgeon general

Anesthesiologist General Won’t Stop Asking President How Much Time He Has Left

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is growing impatient with the new Anesthesiologist General continually asking him how much time is left in his presidency. Surgeon/Anesthesiologist General...
surgery

New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls

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BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging...

Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages

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MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room.  The latest unobtainable...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci,...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

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TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry.  But thanks to a new...
anesthesiologist hospital

Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time

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In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.” Despite best...

Doula Organization Claims Medical Legitimacy

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Craig Hartford, spokesman for the Doula Association of Southern California (DASC), released a statement last week claiming that doulas had at...
medical pager

Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures

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Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...