Anesthesiology

Medicine consult

Medicine Consult on the Fence About Restarting HCTZ

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ATLANTA, GA - The tension is mounting on the surgical ward at Emory University Hospital as Dr. Christopher Roberts of Hospital Medicine remains on...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Breaking: CMS Creates New Blame Anesthesia ICD-10 Codes

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) & National Center of Health Statistics (HCHS) have created a new set of...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines

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NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU.  Thankfully he...

Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room

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CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...

Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson.  He has been unable to...
anesthesia resident

Anesthesia Resident Finishes Reading Entire Internet During Free Flap Surgery

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NEW YORK, NY – John Silk, a fourth-year anesthesiology resident at State Medical Hospital in New York, will now have his name immortalized in...

Vital Signs Much Worse After Implementing Anesthesia Automatic Electronic Records

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BOSTON, MA - Huge swings in vital sign monitoring have some anesthesiologists and hospital administrators wondering how new automatic electronic records programs could be causing patient’s vitals...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesia Blamed for Rand Paul Attack

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BOWLING GREEN, KY - In yet another case of everything being blamed on Anesthesia, reports are now circulating that even the attack on Rand...
wallet aorta

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta

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NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...