Anesthesiology

anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
reverse trendelenburg

Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg

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MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders.  To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...

Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes

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Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK!  Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre? Cons / You...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...

Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson.  He has been unable to...
penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
airplane

Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies

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WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
orthopedic surgery

Breaking News: Orthopedic Surgeon Completes 1000th Surgery with EBL of 50 cc

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NEW YORK, NY - GomerBlog is ecstatic to bring you breaking news out of OR 7 today at University Medical Center.  Dr. Stewart Shoemyer,...