Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime
HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural." In the plan she specifically refused all...
Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up
An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status...
OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs
The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision.
Circulator, Renee Count...
Respiratory Therapist Tom Brady Fired for Underinflating ET Tubes
BOSTON, MA – Tom Brady, a veteran respiratory therapist at Foxboro Hospital, was fired yesterday as he was caught by an eyewitness underinflating endotracheal (ET)...
New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm
Dear Hospital Employees,
The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital. This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land. We...
Hillary Clinton Blames Benghazi on Anesthesia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former Secretary of State and self-presumed next president Hillary Clinton, testified before Congress about the Benghazi Tragedy in 2012....
Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves. Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation
BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists...