Anesthesia to Bill for Table Changes
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Anesthesiology Resource Committee (NARC) scored a major legislative victory on behalf of all anesthesiology providers today. As part of...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves. Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table
DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
Surgeon Performs Appendectomy, Still Trying to Convince OR Staff That It Was Infected
KNOXVILLE, TN – General surgeon Dr. Hendrick Knightsville is being credited with quite an acting performance in operating room 7. Dr. Knightsville took a...
Anesthesiologist Correctly Identifies Anatomic Structure During Surgery
SPRINGVILLE, VA – Local part-time anesthesiologist and full-time crossword puzzle enthusiast Arnold Preston, M.D. shocked the entire operating suite today when he correctly identified...
With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....
Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy
In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame.
“Man, before...
United Airlines Introduces Seats That Go Into Trendelenburg
CHICAGO, IL - Seeking new ways to remain controversial and constantly in the news, United Airlines has announced it is has replaced passenger seats...
Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation
Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for...