Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll
NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven. The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...
Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...
CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial
Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...
Everyone in the Hospital Knew Anesthesia’s Real Name All Along
With the COVID-19 outbreak, health systems worldwide are coming up with plans to maximize their resources in the face of this pandemic. With COVID-19...
Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation
Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for...
COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks...
New ACS Recommendations for CRC Screening Forces Anesthesia to Bear the Burden of Providing...
On May 30, 2018, the American Cancer Society announced that it will be updating its colorectal cancer screening guideline such that all adults age...