Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues
ROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy. He asked, “What is the patient’s blood pressure?” Dr. Heathstrom looked up from...
Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead
MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight. After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
Physician on FIRE not allowed in OR, deemed too much of a fire risk
St. Peter, MN - Physician on FIRE, an anesthesiologist and financial blogger, recently hit the magical goal of Financial Independence and Retire Early (FIRE)...
With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....
Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR
MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping...
New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm
Dear Hospital Employees,
The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital. This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land. We...
Passenger Wants Epidural Before Squeezing Into Middle Economy Seat
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Realizing that there was no other way around what would otherwise be four hours of misery, lanky and long-limbed 6'...
Medical Student Wins Golden Globe for Laparoscopic Cinematography in ‘Emergent Lap Chole’
BROOKLYN, NY – Third-year medical student Praveen Chandiram has been awarded the first Golden Globe in Laparoscopic Cinematography for his work in an emergent...
National Security of Anesthesiologists Releases New Cell Phone Disabling Device
RESTON, VA - The National Security of Anesthesiologists (NSA), in response to a jury awarding a patient $500,000 after an anesthesiologist was caught on...
Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime
HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural." In the plan she specifically refused all...