Anesthesia Makes Surgical Recommendations
In a world flip-turned upside down, anesthesia has had enough and is making recommendations on how to do surgery.
During a hernia surgery: “Oh, you’re...
National Security of Anesthesiologists Releases New Cell Phone Disabling Device
RESTON, VA - The National Security of Anesthesiologists (NSA), in response to a jury awarding a patient $500,000 after an anesthesiologist was caught on...
United Airlines Introduces Seats That Go Into Trendelenburg
CHICAGO, IL - Seeking new ways to remain controversial and constantly in the news, United Airlines has announced it is has replaced passenger seats...
Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...
Breaking News: Surgery Accepts Blame
For the first time in recorded history, anesthesia blamed surgery for a poor case, and surgery accepted blame.
“We took this guy back for a...
That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray
North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical...
Vital Signs Much Worse After Implementing Anesthesia Automatic Electronic Records
BOSTON, MA - Huge swings in vital sign monitoring have some anesthesiologists and hospital administrators wondering how new automatic electronic records programs could be causing patient’s vitals...
Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine? Not any more. According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...