COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time
In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.”
Despite best...
PACU Institutes ‘No Repeat’ Policy
CREST BUTTE, MT - The policy review committee at Nondenominational Faith Memorial Medical Center has instituted a “No Repeat” policy in their Post Anesthesia Care...
Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...
Bored Anesthesiologist Randomly Intubating Patients on Floor
HOUSTON, TX - Finding it to be a particularly slow day in the operating room today, bored anesthesiologist Lee Maxwell has been spotted running around Houston Medical Center,...
ASA Updates Algorithm to Account for Redheads
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) released new guidelines that update their infamous ASA classification system to account for the anesthetic...
National Security of Anesthesiologists Releases New Cell Phone Disabling Device
RESTON, VA - The National Security of Anesthesiologists (NSA), in response to a jury awarding a patient $500,000 after an anesthesiologist was caught on...
Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water...
BACKGROUND: The superiority of Lactated Ringer’s solution (LR) or normal saline (NS) in fluid resuscitation in a variety of medical and surgical scenarios remains...
Anesthesia Techs Strike; Anesthesiologists Forced to Go Get Their Own Quarters
HUNTSVILLE, AL - In the midst of a contentious labor dispute, anesthesia techs at Huntsville General Hospital have gone on strike. Amongst the many...
RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E
ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not...