Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Anesthesia Blamed for Rand Paul Attack
BOWLING GREEN, KY - In yet another case of everything being blamed on Anesthesia, reports are now circulating that even the attack on Rand...
Outpatient Surgery Center Hires DJs Instead of OR Nurses
IBIZA, SPAIN - The party is just getting started at Ibiza Surgical Specialists, a private outpatient surgery center, now that new OR nurses have...
Pathetic Anesthesiologist Can’t Even Put Own Kids to Sleep
In an embarrassing display of parenting incompetence, 38-year-old anesthesiologist Eric Springer was unable to put his own kids to bed late Thursday night. That's...
Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues
ROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy. He asked, “What is the patient’s blood pressure?” Dr. Heathstrom looked up from...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass
NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation
Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for...
Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
Trump Pardons Anesthesia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stating that he wanted to "give this pardon thing a test run... for no particular reason," President of the United States...