Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up
An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Flatulence to Blame for Failed Laparoscopic Procedure
IOWA CITY, IA – Yesterday was a typical operating day at Holy Cross Hospital in room #12 until 1:45 p.m. The room was a...
Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass
NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Vital Signs Much Worse After Implementing Anesthesia Automatic Electronic Records
BOSTON, MA - Huge swings in vital sign monitoring have some anesthesiologists and hospital administrators wondering how new automatic electronic records programs could be causing patient’s vitals...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...
Search & Rescue Team Saves Anesthesiologist Buried Under Drape Avalanche
DALLAS, TX - Search and rescue operations are underway to locate anesthesiologist Kelly Doolittle in operating room (OR) 5 at Dallas Medical Center after...
ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...
Breaking News: Orthopedic Surgeon Completes 1000th Surgery with EBL of 50 cc
NEW YORK, NY - GomerBlog is ecstatic to bring you breaking news out of OR 7 today at University Medical Center. Dr. Stewart Shoemyer,...