Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Breaking News: Surgery Accepts Blame
For the first time in recorded history, anesthesia blamed surgery for a poor case, and surgery accepted blame.
“We took this guy back for a...
United Airlines Blames Violent Confrontation on Anesthesia
CHICAGO, IL - After two days of unsatisfying answers from United Airlines regarding the violent extrication of a passenger from its Chicago-to-Louisville flight, CEO...
Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
Anesthesia Makes Surgical Recommendations
In a world flip-turned upside down, anesthesia has had enough and is making recommendations on how to do surgery.
During a hernia surgery: “Oh, you’re...
Anesthesia Goes on the Offensive & Blames Everybody Else
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Throwing away the old blueprint of simply accepting the blame, Anesthesia has opened up a brand new playbook and is going...
Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy
OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during...
Breaking: Anesthesia Wins This Year’s Nobel Prize in Blame
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN - Gomerblog has learned that the Swedish Academy has chosen the field of Anesthesia as the Nobel Prize winner in the inaugural...
In Cruel Prank, Surgeon Steals All of Anesthesia’s Drapes
SCHAUMBURG, IL - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has called a rare emergency meeting earlier today after one of its most highly-recognized members,...