Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10." Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...
Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body
CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become...
Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia
HOUSTON, TX - The New England Patriots came back from a 25-point deficit to complete the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, winning 34-28...
Anesthesiologist, Tired of Intubating in Era of COVID, Decides to Perform CABG Under...
New York, NY - The era of COVID-19 has pushed the envelope in hospitals across the world, challenging care delivery models and allowing one...
Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App
"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask. "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer. Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy
In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame.
“Man, before...
Anesthesiologist General Won’t Stop Asking President How Much Time He Has Left
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is growing impatient with the new Anesthesiologist General continually asking him how much time is left in his presidency.
Surgeon/Anesthesiologist General...
ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...
That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray
North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical...
Breaking News: Surgery Accepts Blame
For the first time in recorded history, anesthesia blamed surgery for a poor case, and surgery accepted blame.
“We took this guy back for a...