Thursday, June 24, 2021

Anesthesiology

fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

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I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy them either.  Now imagine performing the procedure on a high-speed...

ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary

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San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are completely baseless. 
Sudoku

Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal

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NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary to presumed sudoku withdrawal. "Dr. Kingston is intubated but thankfully responsive...
Medicine consult

Medicine Consult on the Fence About Restarting HCTZ

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ATLANTA, GA - The tension is mounting on the surgical ward at Emory University Hospital as Dr. Christopher Roberts of Hospital Medicine remains on the fence about restarting a patient’s 12.5 mg dose of...
Hospicillin

FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who are Full Code when they should really be DNR.  The review...

ASA Updates Algorithm to Account for Redheads

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) released new guidelines that update their infamous ASA classification system to account for the anesthetic considerations of a patient with "red hair."  "We experience vast...
Sudoku

Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3

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PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for a knee scope, when he suddenly needed help.  “Right away...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room tables instead of anesthesiologists or CRNAs is working remarkably well. "It’s...
anesthesiologist billing trachea esophagus

Anesthesia to Bill for Table Changes

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Anesthesiology Resource Committee (NARC) scored a major legislative victory on behalf of all anesthesiology providers today.  As part of House Appropriations Bill 158 Section 11 Subsection 8, anesthesia providers...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While

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MONTREAL, QUEBEC - Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they occasionally wish patients wouldn't be so lazy and unmotivated, and could occasionally show at least a little interest and intubate...