Anesthesiology

traffic jam outside of operating room

Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21

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HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...
cosmetic

New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

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CALABASAS, CA - Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program.  Surgical patients can...

Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room

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CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
United Airlines endotracheal tube

United Airlines Replaces Oxygen Masks with Endotracheal Tubes

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CHICAGO, IL - No stranger to controversy, United Airlines has thrown itself into the headlines once again by announcing that it will be replacing...

ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary

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San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...
Jerome Adams Surgeon General Surgeon Colonel

Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....
iv fluid

Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll

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NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven.  The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...
santa big

Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass

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NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
DJ

Outpatient Surgery Center Hires DJs Instead of OR Nurses

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IBIZA, SPAIN - The party is just getting started at Ibiza Surgical Specialists, a private outpatient surgery center, now that new OR nurses have...