Anesthesiology

anesthesiologist

Anesthesia Accepts Blame for Everything Wrong in Universe, Life As We Know It

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - In breaking news just in to Gomerblog today, the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has formally announced it will finally accept blame for...

OR Shutdown Enters Third Week as Drape Wall Dispute Remains Deadlocked

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KEARNEY, NE - An operating room at Kind Samaritan Hospital (KSH) has entered a third week of shutdown as Anesthesia and Surgery continued to...
new medical app

Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App

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"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask.  "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer.  Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
drive thru

Local Hospital To Pilot Drive-Thru Intubation Clinic In Response to COVID-19 Spread

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GREENEVILLE, TN - St. Indignant’s Health Care System has announced a new partnership with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to pilot...

Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid

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NEW YORK, NY - With patients treating hospitals like an a la carte restaurant or 5-star luxury hotel, hospital leaders at New York Medical...
airplane

Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies

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WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist Protests ‘Talking To Patients Is Not In My Job Description’

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LOS ANGELES, CA- Dr. Jacob Coates, who is a practicing neuro-anesthesiologist for last 18 years, is protesting against awake craniotomies. "This is beyond my comfort...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
Judas blames Anesthesia

Judas Blames Betrayal of Jesus on Anesthesia

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JERUSALEM - Judas Iscariot, who notoriously betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, has absolved himself from one of the darkest moments in the Bible by...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines

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NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU.  Thankfully he...