Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery
HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures. Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...
Anesthesiologist Cancels Case After Hearing Patient is ‘Gassy’
CHARLOTTE, NC - OR 4 at Mercy Hospital was moving “ahead of schedule” according to charge nurse Diane Cingler. “Turns out we are getting...
Breaking: Anesthesia Absolutely Spent Adjusting Table Height
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - McGill University anesthesiologist, 42-year-old Eric Drouin, admits that he is absolutely spent after adjusting the table height this morning per the...
Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...
Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies
WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
Shirtless Tongan Braves Arctic Tundra of Operating Room
ANN ARBOR, MI - Olympic Tongan athlete, Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has been spotted standing shirtless and glistening in baby...
Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators
GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1
Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult. What does that really mean? In the first of...
Anesthesia Goes on the Offensive & Blames Everybody Else
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Throwing away the old blueprint of simply accepting the blame, Anesthesia has opened up a brand new playbook and is going...