Anesthesiology

tatoo

Study Finds Needle Anxiety Worsens with Tattoos

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BALTIMORE, MD - Johns Hopkins researchers published a shocking new study in this month's New England Journal of Medicine showing a correlation between the...
anesthesia resident

Anesthesia Resident Finishes Reading Entire Internet During Free Flap Surgery

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NEW YORK, NY – John Silk, a fourth-year anesthesiology resident at State Medical Hospital in New York, will now have his name immortalized in...
penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...

Physician on FIRE not allowed in OR, deemed too much of a fire risk

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St. Peter, MN - Physician on FIRE, an anesthesiologist and financial blogger, recently hit the magical goal of Financial Independence and Retire Early (FIRE)...
cosmetic

New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

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CALABASAS, CA - Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program.  Surgical patients can...

Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery

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HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures.  Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

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Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While

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MONTREAL, QUEBEC - Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they occasionally wish patients wouldn't be so lazy and unmotivated, and...
anesthesia patient

Mayim Bialik causes The American Society of Anesthesiologists to Quit and Rebrand

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Mayim Bialik may be the straw that broke the camel’s back once and for all for Anesthesiologists throughout the world. On Friday night’s Jeopardy...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy

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In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame. “Man, before...