Anesthesiology

Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out

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SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning...
cosmetic

New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

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CALABASAS, CA - Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program.  Surgical patients can...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

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CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry.  But thanks to a new...
anesthesia

Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil

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BOSTON, MA - Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a "no-show strike." "We were prepping...
anesthesiologist billing trachea esophagus

Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own

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KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci,...
drape fort iron drapes

In Cruel Prank, Surgeon Steals All of Anesthesia’s Drapes

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has called a rare emergency meeting earlier today after one of its most highly-recognized members,...
dermabond surgical glue

Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product

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Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices.  In response,...