Thursday, April 25, 2024

Anesthesiology

or-drapes

Surgery & Anesthesia Ready to Take Things to the Next Level & Remove the...

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gossip alert!  According to our sources, Surgery & Anesthesia in OR 5 are ready to take things to the next level, and remove the drape that has separated and held...
main or

Norovirus and a Patient’s Oxygen Saturation of 33% Too Much for Anesthesiologist to Handle

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BOSTON, MA - Norovirus is running rampant throughout the country this January and anesthesiologist Tim Bellows became the next poor victim to become infected.  He was midway through a laparoscopic appendectomy when he felt...
nephrology

Always Blame Nephrology

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Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50. Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today Resident: Then, it is from the dialysis done 2 days ago Intern: They just called...

Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol

2
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson.  He has been unable to find a job as a cardiologist due to losing his...
pulmonary fellow

Tired Critical Care Fellow Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Rectum

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ATLANTA, GA - “Well, this is very embarrassing,” explained pulmonary & critical care fellow Eric Jennings to his colleagues on morning rounds, as he scratched his head.  “I guess I was tired.”  Jennings’ team...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors as they Houdini in and out of your room.  Often...

Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators

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GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin Hospital.  The shocking display of unity against the hospital administrators...

Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat

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DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes, even make the general surgeons happy too.  They’re called Stryker...

Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid

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NEW YORK, NY - With patients treating hospitals like an a la carte restaurant or 5-star luxury hotel, hospital leaders at New York Medical Center (NYMC), at the unanimous urging of health care providers,...

COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks for health care professionals on the front line...