Anesthesiology

crossword puzzle shortage

Crossword Puzzle Shortage Has Nation’s Anesthesiologists in a Panic

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Sound the alarm bells: A nationwide crossword puzzle shortage has anesthesiologists from coast to coast in a panic, putting the livelihood of an entire subspecialty in jeopardy. "Anesthesia hasn't seen a crisis this...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology drape when he spotted Snorlax in an adjacent operating room....
drug shortages

Drug Shortages Lead OR Pharmacies to Issue Motivational Items

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Nationwide drug shortages have forced physicians to consider alternative ways to take care of patients. At the forefront of this movement is the National Organization of Medically Equivalent Drug Seekers (NOMEDS), a pharmacist run...

Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body

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CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become more and more frustrated by the scrub situation at his...

With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr. Jeff Riggs quickly sprung into action and administered 500 cc...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room tables instead of anesthesiologists or CRNAs is working remarkably well. "It’s...
nurses laughing

April Fools’ Day Jokes to Play at the Hospital

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Top April Fools’ jokes to play at the hospital.  It isn't too late to try and pull off that sweet joke at work. Anesthesia – After giving your coworker a morning break during a prone IV...

Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes

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Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK!  Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre? Cons / You can't actually use these stethoscopes as headphones. The One Liner / Despite...
Sudoku

Breaking: ASA Blackballs Anesthesiologist Who Dislikes Sudoku

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Not sugarcoating it and calling it the equivalent of medical treason, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey Plagenhoef has officially blackballed anesthesiologist Dr. Olivia Eagles from the ASA...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

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CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine can sense "how busy or lost" a person looks when...