New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls
BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging...
Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry. But thanks to a new...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks...
Doing the Right Thing: Pilot Blames Turbulence on Anesthesia
DELTA 272 - Occasional rough patches of air during a flight isn’t uncommon, ask any pilot. However, to Delta pilot Captain Jack Wilson, who just...
Why Do Anesthesiologists Really Put Up That Drape in the OR?
Life is full of great mysteries: Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Why is Donald Trump running for president? Is normal saline normal? But...
ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...
Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Anesthesiologist Blames Surgery for Patient’s Difficult Airway
BILOXI, MS - In what is believed to be the first time anywhere, local anesthesiologist Arick Lunchbocks blamed general surgeon Bessie Jandle for the...