Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
Pathetic Anesthesiologist Can’t Even Put Own Kids to Sleep
In an embarrassing display of parenting incompetence, 38-year-old anesthesiologist Eric Springer was unable to put his own kids to bed late Thursday night. That's...
Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation
BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time
HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration.
“How many times at...
Physician on FIRE not allowed in OR, deemed too much of a fire risk
St. Peter, MN - Physician on FIRE, an anesthesiologist and financial blogger, recently hit the magical goal of Financial Independence and Retire Early (FIRE)...
Wolf Huffs and He Puffs and He Blows Anesthesia’s Drapes Down
LONDON, ENGLAND - A confrontation has broken out between the Big Bad Wolf and anesthesiologist James Halliwell in OR 5 of London Bridge Medical...
Local Hospital To Pilot Drive-Thru Intubation Clinic In Response to COVID-19 Spread
GREENEVILLE, TN - St. Indignant’s Health Care System has announced a new partnership with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to pilot...
COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks...