Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine. Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a cracked top, and even "laughs on the inside" according to...
Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg
MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders. To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the patient at a 30-degree angle with the head higher than...
Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...
BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room.
"All the nurses and operating room staff know the surgeon's name and always say Dr....
Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages
MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room. The latest unobtainable drug is the non-depolarizing paralyzing agent succinylcholine, usually reserved in...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to find a job as a cardiologist due to losing his...
Breaking News: Anesthesiologist Manages to Place EKG Leads Out of Surgical Field
LOUISIANA - GomerBlog is excited to bring you breaking news that is just being reported from Memorial Hospital in operating room 4. An anesthesiologist, who we can’t confirm the name as of yet so we will just...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine can sense "how busy or lost" a person looks when...
Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors
MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday. 84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair.
“Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...
Vital Signs Much Worse After Implementing Anesthesia Automatic Electronic Records
BOSTON, MA - Huge swings in vital sign monitoring have some anesthesiologists and hospital administrators wondering how new automatic electronic records programs could be causing patient’s vitals to have "huge swings" as opposed to manual paper charting.
"I’m...
Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues
ROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy. He asked, “What is the patient’s blood pressure?” Dr. Heathstrom looked up from his Sudoku puzzle: “112/78” and then returned to his work.
“No,...
