Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors
CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...
Spooky: Pyxis Swallows Nurse Whole, Rescue Underway
NEW YORK, NY - In unexpected and unfortunate news today, floor nurse Yelena Ivanovic was accidentally swallowed by her Pyxis machine shortly after engaging...
Doctor Trespasses into Nurses Station, Shot on Sight
NORFOLK, VA - Internist Jeff Jenkins is face down and comatose on the fourth floor of Norfolk Medical Center after being shot in the...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...