applauding doctors

Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the fiscal year’s first perfect note. The southpaw orthopedic surgeon not...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

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BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at Niagara Area Hospital (NAH),  it is reserved for an RN...
quitting medicine

Doctor Achieves Lifelong Dream of Quitting Medicine Forever

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“Finally!” he exclaimed, throwing his white coat, scrubs, and stethoscope onto a pile of logs. “I can’t believe I made it!” Meet Hunter McCutchen.  He is 39 years of age.  He is a physician and...

Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing trial runs by having an on-call administrator on Saturdays but taking...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10 medical providers are annoyed by the gross and exaggerated misuse...

ICD-10 to Include Code for ‘Dr. Oz Says,’ Automatic Trigger for Level 5 Visit

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The ICD-10 has recently added a last minute section to include codes for an epidemic that has been creeping into US medical offices over the past several years.  Dr. Oz’s quackery...
ear anatomy

Anatomy of the Ear

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Other anatomy lessons: - Anatomy of a Contact Precaution Stethoscope - Anatomy of a Pager - Anatomy of an American Football
diabetic coma

Cookie Monster in Critical Condition Due to Diabetic Complications

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SESAME STREET - Children around the world awoke from sleepy-time to the stunning news that Cookie Monster is battling for his life in the intensive care unit at Sesame Street University Hospital (SSUH) with diabetic...
styrofoam stetoscope

Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope

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ABSTRACT Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent transmission from patients in contact isolation to other nearby patients...