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Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes

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LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...

Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab

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SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out.  Pay was decreasing and vacation...
ACP low back pain anything

ACP Guidelines for Low Back Pain: ‘Anything, ANYTHING But Opioids’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Last week, the American College of Physicians (ACP) published new recommendations for the management of nonradicular low back pain in the...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
smoking VA patient

Medical Mystery Baffles Physicians

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An unsolved medical mystery is challenging and frustrating some of the brightest medical minds at Bergendorst Medical Center in Greenville, Iowa. Morbidly obese 58...
zoll

Psalm of Zoll

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All hail the mighty Zoll, savior of the ICU The one who brings back life from the brink of death He’ll send you a jolt to...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
turkey in code cart

Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale

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SAN DIEGO, CA - According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency.  Effective Jan....
stanford medical school

Stanford School of Medicine: ‘Dear Future Doctor’ Parody Video

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STANFORD, CA - In a blaze of blood and green secretions, Stanford Medical School has emerged from its 30-year hiatus and burst in upon...

OR Shutdown Enters Third Week as Drape Wall Dispute Remains Deadlocked

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KEARNEY, NE - An operating room at Kind Samaritan Hospital (KSH) has entered a third week of shutdown as Anesthesia and Surgery continued to...