Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
So Sad: Charcoal Inactivated, Made DNR
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Telling a palliative care team that it lived a long and fruitful life, a small pile of activated charcoal is asking...
Next-Generation Robotic Simulation Patients to Contain Real Humans
After years of experience building advanced robotic simulation patients, The SimCenter of America design team thinks they’ve reached another technological breakthrough.
“Basically, we found that...
Judas Blames Betrayal of Jesus on Anesthesia
JERUSALEM - Judas Iscariot, who notoriously betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, has absolved himself from one of the darkest moments in the Bible by...
Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus
In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past...
New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...
Honesty FTW! Physician Signs Note “Thanks for the Sh*tty Consult”
BOSTON, MA - Making no attempt to hide his obvious displeasure in what was a "late" and "totally bogus" consult, infectious diseases fellow Luke...
Pulmonary Clinic Full of SOBs
DALLAS, TX - GomerBlog is on scene at the Pulmonary Clinic at Dallas Medical Center to report that the place is overrun with SOBs....
So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted
KOREAN PENINSULA - Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and...
Tufts Nurses Go On Strike, New Interns Forced To Be Nurses
BOSTON, MA – Due to the recent nursing strike at Tufts Medical Center, the hospital is now forcing its new interns to also be nurses....