Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has...
New Ortho Sub-Subspecialty Left Hand Fellowship Announced!
COLLEGE PARK, MD - Fresh out of the ABMS office, it has been confirmed, Dr. Geaux Negolfing has applied and been approved to start...
DaVinci Announces Partnership with Hair Salons, Tattoo Parlors
US citizens, eager to have their economy open up, will soon have an exciting opportunity. Hair salons and tattoo parlors have struggled with how...
Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby
LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say the Queen is ready to have another royal baby. She has...
BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation
PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with...
Harvard Establishes New Standard for Research with Double-Blinded Consents
BOSTON, MA - Long regarded as a mecca for medical research, Harvard Medical Center has pushed the envelope yet again with double-blinded consents.
Now neither...
Johnson & Johnson Doubles Down With 100% Asbestos Baby Powder
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Despite stocks plummeting 11% after a Reuters report claimed the company knew asbestos has been in its baby powder for...
McDonald’s Introduces Value Meals With Cholesterol and Diabetes Medications Blended In
BOCA RATON, FL - In a landmark move being hailed as "a potential solution to the obesity epidemic" plaguing the U.S., the McDonald's Corporation announced...
Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding
In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays...