Full Articles

Our cutting edge in-depth reporting, giving you the stories you deserve!

drones

California Vaccination Rates Soar with Drone-Delivered Vaccines

0
SACRAMENTO, CA - California reports rapid increases in its vaccination rates, thanks to a new partnership with Amazon Prime’s drone service. “For years, we’ve had...
award student loans

Physician Wins Award for Paying Off Student Loans

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price was pleased to announce this week that 58-year-old internist Dale Mitchell has been awarded...
food buffet

Pathologists Running Out of Food (Terms)

0
SEATTLE, WA - At the national meeting for pathologists, a packed, plenary session on the impending crisis of pathologic terms was held. For years now,...

Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
strike 32 teeth

Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude

0
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

0
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...
airplane

“Rewards” Program for Frequent Flyers Includes Unlimited, Complimentary Discharges

25
ATLANTA, GA - Atlanta University Hospital (AUH) has unveiled a new tiered hospital rewards program for frequent flyers that provides numerous benefits, including free...

Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables

0
With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround. “We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

8
DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got...
Johnson & Johnson asbestos baby powder

Johnson & Johnson Doubles Down With 100% Asbestos Baby Powder

0
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Despite stocks plummeting 11% after a Reuters report claimed the company knew asbestos has been in its baby powder for...