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whole milk

Surgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now

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WASHINGTON, DC—Mrs. Beaumont came home early one day last week and walked in on her 50-year-old husband sucking on the nipple of a gorgeous...
modem

IT Departments Upgrade EHRs with 28.8K Dial-Up Modems

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The information technology (IT) departments of hospitals nationwide made a New Year's resolution to hinder the efforts of practicing health care...
clown doctor

Doctor Finds New Life As A Clown More Fulfilling

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Pediatrician Jim Smith is thrilled with his new career as a professional Clown. He specializes in children’s birthday parties but has the skill set...
Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've...

Female Resident Grateful for Unsolicited Feedback on Physical Appearance

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BOSTON, MA - Jessica Schwartz, a third-year resident in a local internal medicine program, was pleased to find comments about her physical appearance in her...
nursing diagnosis

Is Your Nurse Trying To Hook Up With You?

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Being admitted as a patient can be a scary and vulnerable time. Why not take this opportunity to get laid in your hospital bed,...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics

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BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their...
fellow on rounds

Fellow Takes 5 Minutes on Rounds to Explain How His Residency Was Better Than...

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PALO ALTO, CA - Several witnesses at Lucile Packard Children’s reported that yesterday Nikil Kandelwal, MD, took 5 minutes on nephrology rounds to inform the...
cosmetic

New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

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CALABASAS, CA - Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program.  Surgical patients can...