Report: July The Worst Time of Year to Be Sick
BOSTON, MA – A recent study demonstrated that July, the busiest time of year for teaching hospitals, was also the worst time of the year to...
Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use
BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
Updated ACGME Guideline: Have Your New Intern Spayed, Neutered
CHICAGO, IL - In an attempt to curb the difficult behaviors of new interns among other things, the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education...
Buried Placenta Grows Baby Tree
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over...
Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status
DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status. "Someone’s got...
Interventional Radiology To Only Do Procedures if INR < 0
OAK BROOK, IL - In an effort to completely eliminate the risk of bleeding, newly-issued guidelines from the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA)...
Patient Placed on “Crazy Precautions”
MANHASSET, NY - In a concern for a serious outbreak of crazy, Near Shore-Middle Island Jewish Medical Center went on high alert and placed...
Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...
At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds. Every...
VA Hospital Honors Decorated Veteran of Three Wars with Free Side of Mashed Potatoes
INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Veterans Day is a time when our country comes together to honor our military service men and women who have sacrificed...
Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately,...