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male patient asking for urinal

Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal

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ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked...
meatball sub

New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass

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All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated” Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been...
nurse float pool

Nurses Required to Take Swim Test After Nurse Drowns in the Float Pool

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KEARNEY, NE - Staff at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) were saddened to learn that a long-time nurse Lara Kennedy drowned in the nursing float...
Lebron, orgasm, Cavaliers

LeBron Brings Cleveland Its First Orgasm in 52 Years

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CLEVELAND, OH - Native son LeBron James and the Cavaliers have defeated the Golden State Warriors 93-89 in Game 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals,...
transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...

Bronx Tiger Tests Positive for COVID19; Tampa Tigers Test Positive for Carole Baskin’s 2nd...

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"Doc Antle has told me numerous times that there is no identifiable trace on a tiger days after they’ve eaten a ground up human, let alone 19 years and 325 days after! Its laughable, the whole thing really is.”
sick patient

Sicker Patients Benefit from Reduced Medical Attention

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It has been clearly documented that patients requiring multiple blood transfusions have poorer outcomes than patients who are not bleeding and hence have fewer...

Surgeon Happiness Declared Risk Factor for Surgical Site Infection by AORN

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Denver, CO – AORN President Missi Merlino, MHA, CNOR, CSSM, BFD, WTF, OPP, GED announced a new recommendation this week.  “Based on zero evidence whatsoever, AORN...
vaccines

Jimmy Kimmel and Real Doctors Preach on Getting Vaccines

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Another reason to get your kids vaccinated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpfNScEd3M
squirrel squirrels CDC

CDC Memo to Squirrels: Stop Darting in Front of Cars at Last Possible Second

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ATLANTA, GA - Has this ever happened to you: You're driving down a quiet side street when out of nowhere a squirrel darts at...