Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker
Chief Complaint:
Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain.
History of Present Illness:
This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...
Diversification Fail: White Coat Investor Invests Only in White Coats
OGDEN, UT - Gomerblog reporter Naan Derthaal rocked the medical financial universe recently when he revealed that the White Coat Investor doesn't wear a...
New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective
NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills? With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between? Things may...
National Academy of Medicine OKs using rectal gases instead of venous gases in hard...
Minneapolis, Minnesota – In what appears to be a practice changing announcement, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM) released an update to its exceptional...
Nurse Pages On-Call Masseuse for Stat Massage
ATLANTA, GA - “I’m going to do it and you’re not going to stop me!” This is what nurse Adele Ryans said with stern...
Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures
BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators across the country are recognizing the heroic efforts of Chlöe Less, Assistant Director of Quality Control at Madre...
Goodnight Hospital
In the dark call room
There was a telephone
And a lumpy bed
And a a picture of
An ancient man’s torso and head
And there were three white...
Homeless da Vinci Robot Seen Begging for Spare Surgeries
ATLANTA, GA - Sources close to GomerBlog report that a homeless da Vinci Robot was spotted on the northeast corner of West Peachtree &...
Qdoba Offering Free Hepatitis to Compete with Chipotle
LAKEWOOD, CO - Despite Chipotle’s recent infectious debacles, it still has maintained the loyal support of its hardcore fanbase, who are easily willing to...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...