Radiologists Groan as Storm Paradoxically Causes Lights to Turn On

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MENLO PARK, NJ—An unusually intense electrical storm this morning produced a prolonged power surge at Menlo Park Memorial Hospital (MPMH), mysteriously causing all electrical...
Mario mushroom 27 bones

Endocrinologist: Small Mario Suffering from Mushroom Deficiency

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WORLD 1-1 - Problem solved: After a battery of tests (including colonoscopy), an endocrinologist at World 1-1 Medical Center has discovered and informed Small Mario...
oxy coaster

FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride

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PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
female physician

Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...

Finally A Clinic Run by “Parents Who’ve Done Their Research” Opens

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PORTLAND, OR - Great news out of Portland, Oregon today, the first in the nation, clinic run by "Parents Who've Done Their Research" opens....
stanford medical school

“We’re the One” Stanford School of Medicine Parody of “I’m the One”

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Well done Stanford! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90vywhRubuc&feature=youtu.be  
wallet aorta

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta

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NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
medical student

Fourth-Year Med Student Looks Forward to Wasting Everybody’s Time on Elective Rotations

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IOWA CITY, IA - 4th-year med student Gregory Scroggins recently announced how excited he was to start wasting everybody’s time on all of his...
fever defervesce

Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)

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Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating. Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s...