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ipad for nurses

Hospital to Replace Clipboard Nurses with iPad Nurses

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SEATTLE, WA - Greater Seattle Memorial Hospital announced plans earlier today to replace its clipboard nurses with iPad nurses.  Specifically, senior-level nursing personnel who...
hospital ceo

New Study Finds Hospital CEO Pay Linked to CEO Satisfaction

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In a new report by Coastline Health Systems, the results of a system-wide performance review were unveiled.  Two independent consulting groups had been hired...
elderly patient

Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias

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Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday. When asked about the...

Plastic Surgery Forced to Rebrand Due to Negative Association with Global Warming

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Plastic Surgery has been getting a bad wrap for their association with the deteriorating brand value of plastic in the current climate of global...
Framingham Risk Score Abacus

Framingham Heart Study Researchers Release New Risk Score Abacus

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FRAMINGHAM, MA - Boasting that it will be easier than ever to estimate the 10- and 30-year cardiovascular risk of an individual, principle investigators...
doctor

Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern

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Dear July 1st Medicine Intern, I’ve been wheezing a little bit more over the past few days and I’m worried that my asthma is starting...
PGA pro turns hospital administrator

PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf

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SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...

It’s About Damn Time: Cup of Coffee Awarded Nobel Prize in Medicine

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NEW YORK, NY - There was a big surprise earlier this week when a cup of coffee was announced as the winner of the 2017...
angry man

Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage

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Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there.  One of the...
zoll

Psalm of Zoll

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All hail the mighty Zoll, savior of the ICU The one who brings back life from the brink of death He’ll send you a jolt to...