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cafeteria bodily fluids

Improved Cafeteria Menu Offers Choice of Bodily Fluids

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to improve upon the fine cuisine that is hospital food, the hospital cafeteria at Belmont Medical Center (BMC)...
davinci robot

Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

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CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room...
medical student

Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
couple in bed filling out survey

Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit

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AUSTIN, TEXAS - In the midst of post-coital bliss, hospital administrator Chaz Moneybags asked his sexual partner to fill out a satisfaction survey, purely out...
feeding tube

Resident Tries G-Tube Feeds: ‘Really Not That Bad’

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NEW YORK, NY – In a move sure to garner mixed reactions from colleagues and staff, second-year internal medicine resident Jon Paniagua opened a...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
pediatric er

League of Pediatricians Lobbying For New ICD-10 Codes: ‘Probably a Virus’ & ‘First-Time Mother’

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In light of the new ICD-10 roll out, the League of Pediatricians has come forth with a mission statement set to dispel the requirement...

Epidemic of “Tennis Elbow” Hits Radiologists Everywhere

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The increase in cases of an overuse injury called lateral epicondylitis, known more commonly amongst AARP members as "tennis elbow," has seen a rise...
mashed potatoes

VA Hospital Honors Decorated Veteran of Three Wars with Free Side of Mashed Potatoes

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Veterans Day is a time when our country comes together to honor our military service men and women who have sacrificed...
nurse reprimanded

Nurse Cures Cancer; Reprimanded for Breaking Protocol

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ORLANDO, FL - While looking at some lab values in conjunction with scientific research for her NP program, Nurse Francine Marcus miraculously found the...