pins not needles

Patient Insists It Feels Like Pins Not Needles

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AUSTIN, TX - An unusual case has arisen in the Lone Star state, as a patient at Austin Medical Center (AMC) has both paresthesias...

Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...
cat licking

Cats Outperform Humans in Treating Patients with Borderline Personality Disorder

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The psychiatric community is abuzz regarding an innovative treatment approach for patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that has both improved outcomes and lowered...

Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call

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PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false.  It...
hospital scrub sizes

Color-Coded Scrub Ties Lead to Epidemic of ‘Scrub Shaming’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Neurologist Dr. Allison Terazzoni glides through the hallways of Vanderbilt invisibly, staring at the ground, praying to go unnoticed, her white...
Joint Commission scissors

Joint Commission Requires More Name Tag Bracelets for Sicker Patients

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PHOENIX, AZ - In an effort to improve patient safety, the Joint Commission (JC) has recommended that sicker ICU patients should have multiple nametag...

Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell

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9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to...

Citing Principle of Autonomy, AHA Recommends Patients Run Own Codes

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ALLAS, TX—A major principle of medical ethics is that of autonomy, which states that patients should be highly involved in decisions regarding their health...

Burned Out Primary Care Doctor’s Job Satisfaction Soars through the Roof Through “Mindfulness”

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In her 11th year working in primary care, Dr. Stacey Canootskin started to notice feelings of irritability, depersonalization, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and cynicism. Clicking...

FDA approves new drug for hypochondria, Placebadil

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Stock prices of Pfizer are predicted to hit record levels in the next 6 months. This is because they recently introduced the first ever...