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da vinci robot

Da Vinci Robots to be Deployed for Snow Shoveling

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Ever get cold shoveling?  Or exhausted?  Maybe it is time to try the daVinci robot shovel.  This fantastic extension for the...

‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
hospital holiday party

Work Holiday Party to Celebrate Another Year of Resignations, Broken Promises

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FREEHOLD, NJ - CEO John Watkins of Freehold Medical Center is set to throw another epic end-of-the-year holiday party for his hospital and healthcare employees...

Buried Placenta Grows Baby Tree

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
magic mouthwash

Famous Magicians Not Impressed by the Magic of Magic Mouthwash

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Several of the world’s most famous magicians - David Copperfield, Penn & Teller, and Criss Angel - have told GomerBlog...
female doctor

Patient Surprised To Find Out Female ‘Doctor’ Is Not A Nurse

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SANTA CLARA, CA - Jonathan O’Skool, a 78 year-old contractor, was admitted to McCormick Hospital 2 weeks ago for an open AAA repair.  The...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
new lab test

Nephrologist Discovers New Electrolyte, Internists Everywhere Rejoice

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LONDON, ONTARIO, CANADA – Morning report got much more interesting this week, as nephrologist David Adams fulfilled the unspoken dreams of internists around the...