Journal of Obvious Medical Advancements (JOMA) Maintains Impact Factor of Zero
The American Medical Association, publisher of the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) proudly celebrated the three year of also publishing the...
MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet
BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today. "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a...
Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much
BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine...
Reason For ICD-10 Delay: Missing Critical Section on Injuries Due to ICD-10
WASHINGTON, DC - While preparing for the introduction of ICD-10 in the US, physicians dealing with workers’ compensation realized that there was a huge section...
Pain Specialist Uses Ibuprofen Bottle as Substitute for Call System
Dr. Habad Malik sent shock waves through the local medical community when he left town for a week, entrusting his call system to a...
Latest Research Suggests That a Nice Family Prognosticates Mortality in the Intensive Care Unit
ABSTRACT
Background
A group of 1594 (667 were excluded for lack of relative personality traits) patients in a large metropolitan hospital were enrolled in a research...
Neonatal Falls on the Rise
A recent report in a major peer reviewed medical journal (then poorly summarized in an advertisement laden medical bulletin email) has uncovered yet another...
ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students...
Study: Anticoagulation Initiation Instantly Increases Your Fall Risk
BOCA RATON, FL - Finally proving what most doctors already have suspected for decades, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram presented his research data which demonstrated the direct causative...
No Hospice Just Yet: Federer Ekes by Father Time 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 1-6, 6-4
FLUSHING, NY - Roger Federer pulled through last night in his opening match against Father Time, surviving in thrilling fashion 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 1-6, 6-4. ...