Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...
Ophthalmologists Found to be “Physically Weakest” of All Specialists
New research has shed light on which group of physicians are the most physically frail and feeble. Emerging data shows that the top spot...
Chipotle to Win Back Customer Trust by Giving Away Free Antibiotics
DENVER, CO - It’s been a very rough twelve months to say the least for Chipotle, which has seen its reputation severely damaged after...
Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States. In public...
Audacious Attending Has No Criticism for Student’s Choice of Speciality
PORTLAND, OR -- Third year medical student Zain Mandvi didn't get what he bargained for when he confessed his dream residency program to his...
Ebola Virus: I’m Really Uncomfortable with All This Attention I’m Getting
Good morning, American citizens. Let me introduce myself: I'm the Ebola virus.
PLEASE! Calm down, calm down and please allow me a few words. I...
Patient Boldly Quits Smoking Day Before Surgery
CINCINNATI, OH – Local resident Charles Shoemaker has decided to stop smoking the day before his total knee replacement. "I’ve heard there are many...
Nurse Raises the Post-Nominal Letter Bar
PORTLAND, OR - Nurse Ruth Scrittle, ASN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, MBA, CEN, ACLS, CENP, FAEN, is actively petitioning to have additional letters added...
Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout
NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...
Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures
Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...