Medical Student Inadvertently Contaminates Entire OR by Mere Brief Existence
ATLANTA, GA - “Don’t touch that!” snapped the surgical tech, referring to anything and everything in the OR at once. Although he was standing...
Lame PCP Doctor Hasn’t Even Tried PCP
MADISON, WI - Quick! Hide your beer, get the Visine, because it's time to meet Dr. Dud. Well, her real name is Dr. Amy...
TSA Takes Wrist X-Rays for Poorly-Insured Passenger
NEW YORK, NY - Shocked at the out-of-pocket costs he was incurring for the care of his recent wrist fracture, New York area resident...
Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now
LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying...
Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack
Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...
League of Pediatricians Lobbying For New ICD-10 Codes: ‘Probably a Virus’ & ‘First-Time Mother’
In light of the new ICD-10 roll out, the League of Pediatricians has come forth with a mission statement set to dispel the requirement...
Breaking: Virgin Airlines Diagnosed with Chlamydia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is scrambling after Virgin Airlines dropped a bombshell at a press conference earlier this morning revealing that...
Nephrologist Discovers New Electrolyte, Internists Everywhere Rejoice
LONDON, ONTARIO, CANADA – Morning report got much more interesting this week, as nephrologist David Adams fulfilled the unspoken dreams of internists around the...
Roger the Resident in Tears, Freed from Medicine Captivity
ST. LOUIS, MO - Roger Springfield, a 28-year-old internal medicine resident at St. Louis University Hospital, was rescued last weekend by conservationists after being...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...