IT Update: Enter Wrong Password Twice, Computer Will Explode
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Well, looks like the information technology (IT) department is at it again, this time in San Francisco. With security breaches at...
By Popular Overdose Demand: Activated Charcoal Smoothie at Your Local ER
HARTFORD, CT - Get those Press-Ganey scores up with the new Activated Charcoal Smoothie! With the number of intentional and unintentional overdoses skyrocketing across...
Grey’s Anatomy Removes New Actor Mehmet Oz From Show Because He Has the Same...
LOS ANGELES, CA - The producers for the hit TV medical drama Grey's Anatomy announced today they're removing a new character because the actor's...
Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’
BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...
April Fools! This Nurse Was Assigned Only 1 New Admit, Turns Out It Was...
SACRAMENTO, CA - When Nurse Shannon came to work today, she was assigned to only one admit. "Are we slow?" Shannon thought as to...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball.
When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...
All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!
ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self
In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained...
In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...
ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised...