COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations
BURBANK, CA - Just on the heels of an amazing comeback, the Disney Channel has now stopped patient care operations in the backyard playhouse clinic of...
FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin
WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence. Mycoxaflopin, a...
Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR
ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke...
Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey
CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...
Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying
“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and...
Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...
BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year. This year was diplopia. People were loving it. The people who weren’t falling...
MS3 Responsible for Additional 50cc Blood Loss During Surgery for Doing ‘The Dab’ Instead...
AKRON, OH - After working in academics for over 20 years in Gynecology, Dr. Marshall thought she had seen it all. But a whole...
Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt
CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...