Perfect Score! Patient Has Ejection Fraction of 100%
SAVANNAH, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, patient Edward Jacobs has just aced his cardiac exam, the transthoracic echocardiogram specifically, becoming the first...
Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues
KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...
Twas the Night of Call
'Twas the night of call, when all through the ward
Not a patient was stirring, and the nurses quite bored
The Emerg referred patients who just...
Breaking: Resident Answers ‘Yes’ When Third-Year Medical Student Asks if They Can Help With...
CHICAGO, IL – It was approximately 4:15 PM last Tuesday when Clark Gunnerson, a 3rd year medical student on his pediatrics rotation, uttered the universal...
The Epic EHR Bartender
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Pick from this list.
Patron: Hmm…...
Study: Wearing Bow Ties Makes You Better Than Your Colleagues
BOSTON, MA - A study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Fashion finds that health care professionals who wear...
FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
Special Pyxis to Dispense American Flags & Flair
FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA, AMERICA - Hospitals and clinics across this great land of ours will be using special Pyxis machines to dispense American...
Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion
ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris...
Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house. "We have been practicing...