Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...
New Study Explores If More Cowbell Is The Key To Improving Sepsis Outcome
NEW YORK, NY - An old treatment for sepsis-related fever is emerging as a potential alternative to the current sepsis bundle regimens, according to...
Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income
In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new...
Physicians can now legally ghost patients
New York, New York- In an exciting turn of events congress has recently passed bill 151, also known as “the ghost law”. After much...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional...
The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient
CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now. He is the Michael Jordan of interns. Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the...
Dr. Oz’s Show Set to Return After Study Says His Advice Will Only Kill...
NEW YORK, NY—Dr. Oz’s self-titled talk show, which sadly has been on hiatus due to the coronavirus pandemic, is set to resume tapings immediately...