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anesthesiologist

Anesthesia Accepts Blame for Everything Wrong in Universe, Life As We Know It

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - In breaking news just in to Gomerblog today, the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has formally announced it will finally accept blame for...

Surgeon General Creates Downloadable ‘Home ECMO’ PDF

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As COVID-19 continues to spread through the population, we are increasingly finding the availability of PPE to be limited. Hospital staff are told to...
female doctor

Amazing! VA Patient Immediately Recognizes Woman in White Coat as His Doctor

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In a moment that shook the entire VA healthcare system, a VA patient immediately identified the woman who walked into his room in a...

AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...

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Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out...
avalanche past medical history chief complaint

Buried Under Avalanche of Past Medical History, Rescue Underway to Save Chief Complaint

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nascent intern Jesse D'Amato was only part-way through the opening line of his history of present illness (HPI) when supervising Tulane...

Patient Demands Accommodation for Emotional Support Lice

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Patient Tom Schmidt was admitted to Community Hospital today for an infected diabetic foot ulcer when his nurse, Jake Hart, noticed him scratching his...
Sudoku

COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Enema

The Tale of the Enema and the Trailing Zero Error

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LUBBOCK, TX - The Institute of Medicine in 1999 shocked the world when they reported that up to 100,00 persons die each year due...
Da Vinci

Da Vinci Recruited by Megatron to Destroy Optimus Prime

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CYBERTRON - In unsettling news today, Da Vinci continues to pursue his dastardly ways by joining forces with the Decepticons.  Citing neglect on behalf on...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley,...