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doctor on rounds

Former College Athlete Overusing Sports Analogies on Rounds

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FRESNO, CA - Having just completed his intern year, medicine resident and former collegiate shortstop Logan Myers is brimming with confidence.  "Man, during my...
urologist

Urologist Does Double-Take at Correct Pronunciation of “Prostate”

ST. PAUL, MN - After 20 years of clinical practice as Professor of Urology at the University Institute, Dr. Nick Riviera had effectively become...
multivitamins

New Multivitamin Cures Cancer, Heart Disease, Famine, Evil

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SAN DIEGO, CA - A new miracle multivitamin released by pharmaceutical company Pfizer last month has taken the world by storm as it not...

Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...

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NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...

Brand New Futile Care Fellowship Created

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BOARDMAN, OH - St. Margaret Medical Center released news Thursday that a new cutting-edge fellowship training program would start. Dr. Peg Trachenline couldn’t hide her...

The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

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I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...

Become Board Certified in Administration Medicine

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Philadelphia (PA). On Monday, the ABIM presented the first group Diplomats in Administration and Management Medicine. The DAMMed, for short, graduated a residency started...
smoking lounge

Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant

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BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...
doctor updating

Neurology Avoids Disaster Admission, Admits to Medicine

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HAMPTON, CA - Kaiser Health Hospital had a close call this Wednesday.  Thanks to the diligent efforts of Dr. Trevenstein, a neurology attending at Mercy...