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COVID-19: Purell Launches Dozens of Hand-Sanitizing Missiles

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an aggressive effort to mitigate the spread of novel coronavirus COVID-19, Purell has launched no fewer than 20 hand sanitizing...

Family Practice Office Follows Airlines and Overbooks Clinic on Purpose

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After a recent travel mishap during one of his 8 weeks paid vacation, Primary Care Administrator Dewey Kaer was struck with a flash of...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...

Medical Students Horrified to Learn That All Patients Die, Eventually

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PHARMA, OH - A lone tear splashed to the floor, followed by a steady trickle as the residents tried to console the sobbing medical students. ...
heavenly sacral decub

Wound Care Nurse Admits Infected Sacral Decub Smells Heavenly

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - UAB University Hospital's wound care nurse Carrie Pennington was taken aback earlier today when initial evaluation of a stage 4 sacral...
doctor on computer

Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”

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It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
bone marrow

A for Effort: Med Student Palpates Patient’s Bone Marrow

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to both better improve her physical exam skills and understand the etiology of pancytopenia, third-year Vanderbilt medical student...

Ben & Jerry’s Opens Women’s Health Clinic, Offers “Free Cone Biopsy Day”

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SOUTH BURLINGTON, VT—The line outside the new Ben & Jerry’s Women’s Health Clinic extended for at least 3 miles as people waited for the...
frog, tadpole

Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum

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HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist Protests ‘Talking To Patients Is Not In My Job Description’

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LOS ANGELES, CA- Dr. Jacob Coates, who is a practicing neuro-anesthesiologist for last 18 years, is protesting against awake craniotomies. "This is beyond my comfort...