New AHA CPR Guidelines Introduce “Sensual” Rescue Breaths
DALLAS, TX - In a change of course from recent guidelines which stressed hands on chest-only CPR for bystanders, the American Heart Association (AHA) has...
Poll: Why Are Neurologists Consulted?
We polled thousands of neurologists across the world to get down to the bottom of why they are consulted. Here are the top 9...
Interventional Radiology and General Radiology Sign Nuclear Treaty
OSLO, NORWAY - This past Friday the American Radiology Association facilitated a landmark nuclear deal between members of interventional radiology and general radiology. Deep-rooted...
Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...
SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit...
How to Eliminate Patient Handoffs: Work Straight Until Retirement, No Breaks
PITTSBURGH, PA - Hospital administrators at Pittsburgh Healthcare have developed an innovative approach to minimize handoffs and maximize continuity of care. The new Hire-Retire...
Crooked Hillary Actually Suffering From Severe Scoliosis
CHAPPAQUA, NY - Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton’s Spine Surgeon today revealed that President Donald Trump’s calling her “Crooked Hillary” on the campaign...
FDA Bans Any Narcotic with the Letter ‘D’ In It
ATLANTA, GA - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) finally came to its senses today by agreeing to ban any narcotic that contains the...
Google Medical Center Opens
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - The brand new Google Medical Center opened its doors to patients this summer. The gleaming complex is a first of...
Dermatology Recommends Arctic Winter to Minimize Sun Exposure
ROSEMONT, IL - Continuing its campaign against arch nemesis, the Sun, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) has issued a new recommendation stating not...
Hospital’s New ‘Therapy Monkey’ Program Met with Mixed Reviews
AURORA, CO – Three weeks after its launch, an innovative new ‘Therapy Monkey’ program at Children’s Hospital Colorado is being met with mixed reviews....