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Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
dog vet clinic

Area Dog Vomits, Directed to Human ER by Veterinary Clinic on Friday Afternoon

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FAIRFAX, VA - Rusty, a local 4-year-old labrador retriever who had a few episodes of vomiting, was sent to the emergency department last Friday...
multiple choice test

Newly-Minted Third-Year Medical Student Puzzled by Lack of Multiple-Choice Question

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Jenner Hobbs, a fresh new face on the internal medicine wards, is having trouble adjusting to his new environment. Having just finished the first...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Pictures Now Worth 2300 Words, Up from a Thousand, Time to Chart with...

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ATLANTA, GA - In a development that may have implementations for charting and medical documentation and all the health care professionals lucky enough to...

Urologists Nationwide Recommend ChapPrick for Dry Dicks

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LINTHICUM, MD - With a recent flare in the number of cases of males suffering from penile dryness this fall, the American Urological Association...

Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
mosquito

West Nile Virus Murdered By East Nile Virus In Latest Ugly Episode Of Viral...

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LAS VEGAS -- The Las Vegas Police Department has confirmed the shocking news that the West Nile Virus (WNV) has been brutally shot to...

Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

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KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...