Friday, August 7, 2020

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hesitate hesitation hesitating

Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions

AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help with management.  Cardiology was happy to see the patient, and...

Michael Kors Designs Surgical Gown Line for Spring

From couture gowns to handbags, and now to surgical gowns, there's no telling what Michael Kors will do next. The plain paper or fabric surgical gown has been an untouched staple since it's beginning. No...
Johnson & Johnson asbestos baby powder

Johnson & Johnson Doubles Down With 100% Asbestos Baby Powder

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Despite stocks plummeting 11% after a Reuters report claimed the company knew asbestos has been in its baby powder for decades, Johnson & Johnson has doubled down by flooding stores...

Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI

AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he will acquire a urinary tract infection (UTI) within the next...
tree pollen

Tree Pollen Levels So High, Trees Themselves Begging for Allergy Meds

ATLANTA, GA - It's not just humans sneezing this spring.  According to area allergists, tree pollen levels have soared so astronomically that trees themselves have been overwhelming clinics with requests for allergy medications. "I've never...
firework fireworks Katy Perry

Katy Perry Admits Her Song ‘Firework’ is Really About Fireworks Safety

LOS ANGELES, CA - Thinking of no better time than the Fourth of July to come out with the news, pop sensation Katy Perry has admitted to Gomerblog that her 2010 chart-topping hit "Firework"...
Physical therapy hyperacute rehab

Breaking: PT Recommends Hyperacute Rehab

ATLANTA, GA - Stating the potential for significant functional gains and a return to baseline in a matter of minutes, physical therapist Darryl Young has recommended his hospitalized patient go to hyperacute rehab (HAR) post-discharge. "More often than not,...
audible sighs world record world-record

M.D. on World-Record Pace of 15 Audible Sighs Per Minute

BOSTON, MA - It’s not uncommon for any person in health care to be within earshot of a tired or exasperated colleague sighing with defeat. But infectious diseases (ID) fellow Joanna...
brain stem biopsy

Physical Exam Tips: The Nervous System

The physical exam of the brain and nervous system can be broken down into two parts: the lumbar puncture and everything else. Lumbar Puncture The lumbar puncture (LP) or spinal tap (11) is extremely helpful for...

New Medical Graduate Takes Hippocratic Oath, Followed by Big Pharma, Government Vaccine Oath

ATLANTA, GA – In the golden age of whistle-blowers, latest medical graduate Kevin Hartman is standing on the shoulders of Edward Snowden and Chelsea Manning. He recently took a flight to Russia and...