Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance
NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on...
Orthopedic Resident Suspended for Not Logging Romantic Endeavors
NEW YORK, NY - Richard Steel, a PGY-4 orthopaedic resident in New York City, was suspended from duties after failing to log his dates...
NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant
BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...
Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
Resident Wins Extra Shift for Violating Duty Hours
Tampa, FL - Calling the eighty hour work week “non-negotiable”, local Program Director Tom Keen was not pleased to learn that one of his...
Surgeon Recommends Amputation as Means of Improving Weight Loss Outcomes
LOS ANGELES, CA - Los Angeles-based vascular surgeon Dr. Jackson Dyers has begun recommending that his patients living with obesity undergo above the knee...
Applicant Deemed Overqualified for Medical School
PHILADELPHIA, PA - An especially qualified applicant to medical school was distraught at finding 25 identical rejection emails in his inbox on March 15....
Joel Osteen Unable to Open Doors to His Megachurch as He is Literally Dry...
HOUSTON, TX – Pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas has been receiving some negative social media coverage lately after it was...
Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer
MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...