Neurosurgery Resident Doesn’t Recognize Own Child at Thanksgiving Dinner
NASHVILLE, TN - Although aware how busy he is, the family of second-year neurosurgery resident Dr. Michael Duke planned a dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving...
Ass**** Novel Coronavirus waiting to mutate until vaccine has been developed
Scientists discover that the novel Corona virus is more of a prick than they had originally thought. It’s viral machinery, although devoid of any...
Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples
OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor? Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. ...
Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted
BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time
In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.”
Despite best...
Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms
DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000. This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use
BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...
SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit...