P.H.O.N.Y. The Newest Acronym Training Program for Improving Patient Satisfaction
Doctors and nurses are trained again and again on customer service but there is room for improvement. Following well-known acronym step programs comes …...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Ass**** Novel Coronavirus waiting to mutate until vaccine has been developed
Scientists discover that the novel Corona virus is more of a prick than they had originally thought. It’s viral machinery, although devoid of any...
The Joint Commission, Useless in the Time of COVID, to Mandate N95 Timers
The Joint Commission’s executive team, fresh off a socially-distanced golf retreat at Pebble Beach, reiterated its commitment to patient safety and unreimbursed hospital spending...
Michael Kors Designs Surgical Gown Line for Spring
From couture gowns to handbags, and now to surgical gowns, there's no telling what Michael Kors will do next.
The plain paper or fabric surgical...
Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain
LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain. This emergency pain...
Bed-Bound, Demented 89-Year-Old Successfully Resuscitated, Discharged to Wallow in Own Excrement at Nursing Home
GREENSBORO, NC - A team of physicians, nurses, and support staff is being lauded for its efforts in saving the life of Jasper Billings,...
Schizophrenics’ Voices Get To Fill Out Patient Satisfaction Forms
MADISON, WI — When RN Tara Noluck got summoned to see her nursing supervisor about a low patient satisfaction score, she didn’t worry too...
New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely
BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday...
New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos
Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...