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autopsy

Pathologist Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Autopsy in the Morning

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to minimize aspiration and prevent any further delays in management, forensic pathologist Dr. Jason Martin has made his...
RT coffee

Amazing Respiratory Therapist Performs ABG with One Hand, Drinks Coffee with Other

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ATLANTA, GA - In a dazzling display of true skill, Georgia Medical Center respiratory therapist (RT) Chris Gilbert not only managed to obtain an...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

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SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...

Surgeon Happiness Declared Risk Factor for Surgical Site Infection by AORN

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Denver, CO – AORN President Missi Merlino, MHA, CNOR, CSSM, BFD, WTF, OPP, GED announced a new recommendation this week.  “Based on zero evidence whatsoever, AORN...
patient

Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI

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AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he...
red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

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PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options...

RN Too Terrified of N95 Fit Testing Instructor to Admit Tasting Bitter Spray

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COMMUNITY HOSPITAL - RN Maria did not speak up when her N95 mask didn’t fit properly due to feeling intimidated by her instructor, Cara, thereby...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear...
medical school teaching

Medical Schools to Replace Curriculum with Year-Long Course in ICD-10 and E&M Coding

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In a visionary statement, the deans of ten of this nation’s top medical schools, including four Ivy League schools announced today that they are...
scratching scratch itch

Dermatologists Now Recommends Scratching That Itch with a Fork

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Going against traditional wisdom, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) has updated its guidelines on itching and now officially endorses everyone...