CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’
ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around. Constance Bentley,...
Women to be recruited into ortho with promise of no line for bathroom
The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has begun a new campaign to entice women to enter a career in orthopaedic surgery. Dr. David Bonaparte,...
Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient
We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds.
“Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...
Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
Hospitalist Washes Car with Alcohol-Based Foam
NASHVILLE, TN - Hospitalist Dana Avery walked into her patient’s room this morning and noticed he was using alcohol-based foam. Not an unusual observation. ...
ER Doctor Lost in Space-Time Continuum After Switching From Day Shifts to Nights Then...
SAN DIEGO, CA - In an unfortunate event last month Dr. Emmert Gencey, a new 29-year-old ER doc, became lost in the space-time continuum for...
NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features...
CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
State Medical Board Disciplines Dr. Oz by Forcing Him Back to Clinical Practice
NEW YORK, NY - In a stunning conclusion to an ongoing debate about the future of Dr. Oz, the state medical board investigating him...
Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding
In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays...