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doctor texting

Hospital Staff to Use Social Media to Update Patients, Direct Medical Care

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PHOENIX, AZ - Hospital staff at Trinity Hospital are now required to attend social media-targeted family conference training and medical resource training.Hospital administrator Rob Hamilton...
coffee poop

Gastroenterologist Explains Coffee-Pooping Connection

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POOPOO, HI - The link between morning coffee consumption and bowel movements has been well known throughout history.  Even medieval Starbucks had chamber pots for...

Local Man Really Enjoyed Solar Eclipse

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ATLANTA, GA – It was a scene filled with excitement this morning as millions of people from all over the country ventured outside to observe the...
female doctor

Advice for New Female Doctors

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Never touch your hair. It cannot be down, and it cannot look fancy. Optional styles include bun, ponytail, or braid. I might as well...

Med Student Gunners Ousted from Lecture Hall Front Row

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LOS ANGELES, CA – As with most medical school classes, unofficial "assigned" seats in lecture halls becomes the norm after a few weeks of...

SARSbola!!!!!!

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Publicists for SARS-CoV-2 and Ebola have announced that the two highly sought after A-list viruses are now joining forces to become this year’s newest...
pills

Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with...
surgeon washing hands

General Surgeon Goes Entire Year Without Washing Hands

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Dr. Ima Nass, a general surgeon from Illinois, was recently demoted for going an entire calendar year without washing his hands in the hospital. ...
blue hospital sign hospital signs

To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham...

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

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NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately,...