With Plug Pulled on Paris Accord, Planet Earth Eligible for Hospice
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - Hours after the world learned of the United States’ intention to withdraw from the 2016 Paris Agreement, Mother Earth...
Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn
Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul? It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with...
Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can...
Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant
BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...
Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...
Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil
Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions.
Cons /...
Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
New STOP ACLS Algorithm Proven to Reduce Hospital Costs and Readmissions
JOPLIN, MO - New ACLS guidelines have been published that are anticipated to completely revolutionize the care given to patients in cardiac arrest. "The...
Cookie Monster in Critical Condition Due to Diabetic Complications
SESAME STREET - Children around the world awoke from sleepy-time to the stunning news that Cookie Monster is battling for his life in the intensive...