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CVS Pharmacy

CVS to Limit Opioid Prescription Length to 7 Days, Unless You Say “Pretty Please?!”...

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Stepping up to the plate to help combat the ongoing opioid epidemic, CVS Pharmacy has adopted a new opioid policy that...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy

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In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame. “Man, before...
DRUNKbnb

Airbnb Introduces DRUNKbnb, ER Lodging for Drunks

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In an effort to expand into the health care sector, Airbnb is now offering drunk people exam rooms for rent...
intern physician worth it

“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern

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The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable.  No one in...
breathing

In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...

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ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised...
family eating

Hand Sanitizers with Mom’s Saliva: What You Need to Know

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ATLANTA, GA - It is generally accepted that hand-washing with soap and water is the best way to reduce microbes and avoid infections.  Hand...
present hard to open

OB/GYN Chief Resident Finding Christmas Gift Difficult to Open, Performs Emergency Episiotomy

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SANTA FE, NM - Area OB/GYN chief resident Dr. Sandra Bonit came home for the holidays after a week of night float.  “Seven straight...

ICU Hires Wardrobe Consultants to Help With Donning and Doffing of Contact Gowns, Compliance...

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WEST JERSEY, UK - Around 90% of the patients in the ICU's at West Jersey Regional Medical Center were on contact precautions last fiscal...

Roger the Resident in Tears, Freed from Medicine Captivity

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Roger Springfield, a 28-year-old internal medicine resident at St. Louis University Hospital, was rescued last weekend by conservationists after being...
female doctor

Amazing! VA Patient Immediately Recognizes Woman in White Coat as His Doctor

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In a moment that shook the entire VA healthcare system, a VA patient immediately identified the woman who walked into his room in a...