CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...
Breaking: Bronx Zoo Tiger with COVID-19 Leaves Hospital AMA
BRONX, NY - Nadia, a 4-year-old Amur tiger from the Bronx Zoo, who recently tested positive for COVID-19, has left the hospital against medical...
Intern Excited to Take Care of Cobra Kai, Because They Never Die
SAN DIEGO, CA - Herb Swanson has started his internship year off on a bad foot. "I had 3 patients die on me in...
Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger
MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to...
Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
ABSTRACT
Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent...
Meteorologists Developing Radars to Detect Black Clouds, White Clouds
ATLANTA, GA - In a new strategic partnership with Emory University, meteorologists at The Weather Channel (TWC) has pledged to push the boundaries of...
Wellness Emails Send Physician Into Homicidal Rage
PROVIDENCE, RI - Police were called to Quintac Hospital yesterday to subdue a "violent and deranged physician," according to a department spokesperson. Details are...
Surgeon Arrested for Pimping Medical Students on Street Corner
Dr. Franklin Richard III was arrested late Saturday evening after a man in a purple zoot suit and crocs was seen allegedly slapping several...
Brand New Futile Care Fellowship Created
BOARDMAN, OH - St. Margaret Medical Center released news Thursday that a new cutting-edge fellowship training program would start.
Dr. Peg Trachenline couldn’t hide her...
Boxing Day Returns: Admitting Services May Return 1 Unwanted Holiday Admission to the ER
HAMILTON, ONTARIO, CANADA - McMaster University has been at the forefront of Canadian Medical research progress (pronounced pro-gress north of the border) since shortly after...