Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....
Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell
9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to...
Stunned Anatomy Students Meet Lifelike Holograms of Their Cadavers
CINCINNATI, OH—Concerned that their students too often forget that cadavers were once real people with real lives, anatomy professors at Cincy Medical School instituted...
Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
Lion King Remake to Include Mufasa’s Prolonged ICU Admission and Futile Care Prior to...
ANAHEIM, CA - Disney studios has announced that the remake of the Lion King, slated to be released in mid-2019, will feature a more...
Updated 2016 Med/Surg Unit Inventory Guidelines
It’s that time of year to take inventory of what’s on our Med/Surg units. These things are required for the quintessential Med/Surg experience. Bust out...
Debtflix: View School Debt On-Demand Anytime, Anywhere
LOS GATOS, CA - Netflix, a leading provider of subscription-based on-demand streaming media to over 70 million people worldwide, revealed a new service called...
With USMLE Now Pass/Fail, Residency Directors Dread Having to Read Rest of Application
ATLANTA, GA—While medical students everywhere rejoice over the news that Step 1 of the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) is moving to a...
Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home
MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling...
Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome
LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...