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Goodnight Hospital

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In the dark call room There was a telephone And a lumpy bed And a a picture of An ancient man’s torso and head And there were three white...

Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers

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A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...

Lyrica-Eluting Stent for End Stage Fibromyalgia Sufferers

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BERKELEY, CA - End stage fibromyalgia (ESF), affects 1 in 100,000 Americans nationwide.  They frequently suffer short employment expectancy, have one of the highest...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...

Cursed 110-Year-Old Describes Living Through Both Spanish Flu & Coronavirus Pandemics

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NEW YORK, NY—Calling herself the unluckiest woman ever, 110-year-old Dottie Livingston is one of the few people who has been alive for both the...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...
pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

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BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...
ehr

A Visit from Doc SUPER USER

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Twas the night Before Go Live, And no LIP was in the house No one was home yet, They were all with their mouse They clicked...
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Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...