Internal Medicine Intern Boasts Over Thanksgiving Dinner, ‘I’m Basically Running the Whole Hospital’
NASHVILLE, TN - Dr. Nick Johnson, a recent medical school graduate and internal medicine resident impressed his family at Thanksgiving dinner last night when...
Nitwit GI Doc Leaves Scope in Patient’s Colon Again
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Gosh darn it!" exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in a state of shock earlier today when endoscopy suite staff...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
Hospital Introduces ‘American Diet,’ Patient Satisfaction Soars
LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet. It...
Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated
On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping...
Medical Scribe to Subspecialize in Verbs
NORFOLK, VA - In her few years as a medical scribe, Kacey Agnarsson has observed how health care is getting more specialized with each...
Breaking: Tooth Numbers Replaced By Emojis
CHICAGO, IL - In a long overdue update to its tooth chart, the American Dental Association (ADA) has replaced the confusing system of tooth...
What Your Hospital Coffee Selection Says About You
1) The “For Patient’s Only” Coffee Machine
The feigned ‘exclusiveness’ of this particular brew forces a smug smile on the face of any resident or...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate
ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking...