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abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
phone

Health Care Providers Hail the Launch of the New “Patient Complaint Line”

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Following in the pattern of patient satisfaction scores, Dreamland General Hospital has initiated a new "Patient Complaint Line."  When a patient has acted in...
surgery

Medical Student Discovers Niche in Surgery as Edward Retractor Hands

1
MADISON, WI - "That’s not my real name, but it works," stated Jimmy M. Smith, a third-year medical student from UW Madison Medical School. The...

Hospital Security Successfully Lobbies for Independent Practice

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Reno, NV - In a rare demonstration of bipartisan support, hospital security officers were granted full and unrestricted rights to practice police work independently...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had...
sun downing

On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning

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NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I...

Baby Yoda Memes Improve Patient Compliance

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In what started as a joke by the senior emergency medicine residents at Hospital Woeisme, Baby Yoda memes posted around the ED have had...
doctor and patient

Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian

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ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient?  Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.  A recent...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
N95 99 negative AFB sputums

Doc Takes Chance on Ill-Fitting Small N95 Mask Since Finding Regular One Requires Effort

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - After briefly weighing the risks and benefits of using an ill-fitting small N95 mask that's already there versus trying to search...