Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
Dr. Mark Plaster to Battle New Super Bacteria in Maryland
ANNAPOLIS, MD - The CDC is warning the public that a new super bacteria has been identified in Maryland that is resistant to every...
Health Experts Amazed at Diagnostic Ability of New WebMD Kiosks
CHICAGO, IL - A new plan unveiled by WebMD plans to take strain off of primary care physicians.
"This is undoubtedly the next step in...
85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart
LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have...
Nurses’ Poker Tournament Cancelled Due to Cardiac Arrest
SEATTLE, WA - In a disappointing turn of events, nurses were forced to cancel their weekly poker tournament when a patient unexpectedly went into...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Bacon-Laced Gastric Lavage Tubes a Big Hit for Patients
LAS VEGAS, NV – Maker of orogastric, nasogastric, and gastric lavage tubes, Medical Stuff, unveiled a new product line last week that is predicted to...
Hospital Debuts Combination Clinic/Pharmacy Drive-Thru
RALEIGH, NC - A brand new healthcare system opened in Raleigh last week, as Atlantic Healthcare System (AHS) unveiled its state-of-the-art drive-thru clinic/pharmacy to rave...
RxCupid a New Dating Site for Patients
PALO ALTO, CA - A new dating site has received its initial funding, called RxCupid. The website tries to match the perfect patients together....