Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl Wanders Off Medicine Floor, Gets Captured by Surgery
SAN ANTONIO, TX – Sgt. Bergdahl was being treated by an internal medicine team at Hope Mercy Hospital for routine care on Wednesday, when he...
Nevada Nursing Facility Pioneering Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) Resuscitation
LAS VEGAS, NV - In the wake of bundled Medicare payments, a Nevada geriatric nursing facility run by neonatologist-turned-geriatrician, Dr. Hugh Mounds, has begun...
Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun
The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
Breaking: Code Team Pushes tPA to Lyse Clogged Toilet
DURHAM, NC - Acknowledging they were within the 4.5-hour window since symptom onset and had no other clear alternatives, a Code Team at Duke University...
COVID-19 Update: Orthopods Suspend Bro Hugs for 60 Days
NEW YORK, NY - First, Italy went on lockdown. Then March Madness was canceled; the NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. Now...
Resident Appreciation Lunch Just Leftover Cafeteria Food
Tampa, FL - Calling the event "Historic", and "The first of its kind", Hospital CEO Dale Gerald posed for cameras as he scooped hot...
No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All
PHILADELPHIA, PA - During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental status in the medical intensive care unit (MICU), the neurology...
Citing Health Benefits, New Parents Eating Umbilical Cord Stumps
“From the moment I gazed into Andromeda’s perfect eyes, I knew I wanted only the best for her,” says new mom Rochelle Wilson. “Her...
Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus
ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...
Medical Student Leaves Stethoscope Somewhere in This Godforsaken Hospital
HELL - Brian Studebaker, MS3, has left his stethoscope somewhere in this god forsaken hospital for the 85th time, sources confirm. Studebaker describes his...