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CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...

Breaking: Bronx Zoo Tiger with COVID-19 Leaves Hospital AMA

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BRONX, NY - Nadia, a 4-year-old Amur tiger from the Bronx Zoo, who recently tested positive for COVID-19, has left the hospital against medical...

Intern Excited to Take Care of Cobra Kai, Because They Never Die

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Herb Swanson has started his internship year off on a bad foot.  "I had 3 patients die on me in...
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Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger

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MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to...
styrofoam stetoscope

Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope

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ABSTRACT Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent...
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Meteorologists Developing Radars to Detect Black Clouds, White Clouds

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ATLANTA, GA - In a new strategic partnership with Emory University, meteorologists at The Weather Channel (TWC) has pledged to push the boundaries of...

Wellness Emails Send Physician Into Homicidal Rage

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Police were called to Quintac Hospital yesterday to subdue a "violent and deranged physician," according to a department spokesperson. Details are...

Surgeon Arrested for Pimping Medical Students on Street Corner

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Dr. Franklin Richard III was arrested late Saturday evening after a man in a purple zoot suit and crocs was seen allegedly slapping several...

Brand New Futile Care Fellowship Created

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BOARDMAN, OH - St. Margaret Medical Center released news Thursday that a new cutting-edge fellowship training program would start. Dr. Peg Trachenline couldn’t hide her...

Boxing Day Returns: Admitting Services May Return 1 Unwanted Holiday Admission to the ER

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HAMILTON, ONTARIO, CANADA - McMaster University has been at the forefront of Canadian Medical research progress (pronounced pro-gress north of the border) since shortly after...