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Local Man Upset He’s Not Getting His Healthcare Money’s Worth

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DAYTON, OH - Local resident, Phil Summers, complained that he isn’t getting his "money’s worth" when it comes to healthcare.  "I am in top...
eternal life

New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...

Woodstock Veteran Disappointed to Learn New Joint Made of Titanium and Plastic

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BERKELEY, CA - Bill “Doobie” Bogarter fondly refers to Woodstock as the “best two weeks I can’t remember.” He was the first faculty at...
runner's high

Stoned Runner Has Super-Duper, Mega-Ultra, Uber-Awesome Runner’s High

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BOULDER, CO - 24-year-old Boulder resident Jake Thompson has been running ever since he was in high school.  He has a trophy case showcasing...
angry patient

Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...

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Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...

Resident Weighing the Risks & Benefits of Weighing the Risks & Benefits

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NEW YORK, NY - Medical personnel at NYU Langone Medical Center are holding their breath as they witness second-year resident Arielle Abraham weighing the...
sitbit

Medical Device Company to Debut Sitbit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Medical device company Pulsa Tech is unveiling the new Sitbit this week.  Similar to its popular predecessor the Fitbit and Sh*tbit,...
voice recognition

New Voice Recognition Software ‘Dragroan’ to Dictate Physicians’ Exasperated Groans & Sighs

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Speech recognition software company Dragon, used by doctors and other professionals worldwide for transcription, announced the launch of a new...
childhood obesity

New Product Release: Pediatric Power Chair for Morbidly Obese Children

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WHITE PLAINS, NY - In a shrewd but brilliant marketing move last week, Hoveranywhere announced plans to sell thousands of "smaller-sized" pediatric power chairs. The chairs are...

Aging Nurse Frantically Searching Hospital for Lawsuit to Fall On

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Boston, MA- Belinda Fonzarelli has spent the last 38 years working as a nurse in the greater Boston area. She’s wiped butts, pushed meds...