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penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
upset doctor

Things Residency Has Stolen From Me

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Sleep... many many hours of sleep. Meals... 3 meals a day now equals one granola bar and a cup of coffee. Time… Having time to have a bowel...
star wars ICD-10 codes

ICD-10 Primer, Lesson 3: Star Wars Codes

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Another wonderful strength of the new ICD-10 coding system is not only the increased number of codes dealing with the rare but possible real-life...

Need to Renew Your ACLS? New Interactive Code Blue Simulator, ‘Resusci-A**hole,’ Yells Obscenities...

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It’s that time again. Time for you to buck up and go get your ACLS renewed before it expires. Everyone knows that after a...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...

Study: Cure for Covid-19 Likely in Same Vortex or Alternate Dimension Containing Missing Pens

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark, peer-reviewed study published earlier today in the New England Journal of COVID-19 suggests that the cure for novel coronavirus,...

Medical Student at Home Gets Thanked for Helping Fight Coronavirus

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At 9am Tuesday morning, medical student Colin G was making coffee in his PJ’s when he received a text from his Aunt Jan. “Hi Colin,...
hospital workers

Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital workers eagerly awoke this morning, ready and energized to take on another thrilling work day at their local hospitals.  The fact...

VA Backlogs To Be Honored On Veterans Day

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PAPERWORK, USA - On November 11, 2014, the United States will be honoring its myriad heroes: the fallen fighters, the surviving soldiers, and the longest-surviving...