Suburban ER Named Fibromyalgia Center of Excellence
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Specifically mentioning its “soothing atmosphere, unrushed physicians, and tendency for staff to not smirk upon mention of the disease,” the Fibromyalgia...
Study: Red Wine in Moderation Good, in Excess Freaking Amazing
ROCHESTER, MN - Wine enthusiasts bust out the Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, and other red varietals, and get ready to celebrate! An exciting new...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours...
New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans
ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins. Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use
ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
Medical Student Inadvertently Contaminates Entire OR by Mere Brief Existence
ATLANTA, GA - “Don’t touch that!” snapped the surgical tech, referring to anything and everything in the OR at once. Although he was standing...
Simple Healthcare Is Tangentia
Unlike other healthcare systems around the world, the American healthcare system is finely tuned machine which is easy to navigate and understand by lay...
Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple. The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...