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doc mcstuffins

Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations

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BURBANK, CA - Just on the heels of an amazing comeback, the Disney Channel has now stopped patient care operations in the backyard playhouse clinic of...
water balloon

Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water...

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BACKGROUND: The superiority of Lactated Ringer’s solution (LR) or normal saline (NS) in fluid resuscitation in a variety of medical and surgical scenarios remains...
breathing

4 Out of 5 Pulmonologists Agree: Breathing is Important

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CHARLESTON, SC – During a recent press conference, America’s top pulmonologists confirmed that breathing is extremely important and necessary for maintaining the function of...

Oncologist Dr. Trump: Making Your Body Great Again

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Trump makes his rounds through the halls of NYU's hospital and you can overhear his barking: "Cisplatin you're FIRED,...

Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight

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SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...
ambulance

Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!

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Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app...
the sun

Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
Jason

New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors

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CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...
sick patient

Sicker Patients Benefit from Reduced Medical Attention

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It has been clearly documented that patients requiring multiple blood transfusions have poorer outcomes than patients who are not bleeding and hence have fewer...