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mrsa spider

Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large

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GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South. Earl Wayne...
colon cleansing

Medical Science Catching Up to Fad Diets in New Exciting Breakthrough

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PORTLAND, OR - In what is being called one of the greatest breakthroughs in modern medicine, scientists at Hood River University have discovered a...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

0
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...
surgery resident

New Surgical Intern Faints at Sight of Blood Pressure

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LITTLE FALLS, MN—Dr. Daya Stolick, a new surgical intern, hardly broke a sweat when there was a massive amount of blood loss during her...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...

Trainee is “Unusually Tired” upon negative feedback

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SEATTLE, WA – Recent controversy has sparked at a local teaching hospital at the expense of a trainee. After completing three long yeas of...
I try to be a nurse

ZDoggMD: I Try

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Dr. Zubin Damania aka ZDoggMD is at it again with a fantastic parody of Macy Gray: "I Try (To Be A Nurse)."  If you enjoyed...

Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich.  "She delivered...

Medtronic, Blueface Promote New Thrombolysis System Clotiana

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DUBLIN, IRELAND: In a recent press release, Medtronic has announced its promotional partnership with Los Angeles-based rapper, Blueface, to market its new thrombolysis system...
emergency physician

7 Phrases That Make an Emergency Medicine Resident Want to End It All

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1) So what specialty are you going into after residency? Emergency medicine.  How do you not get this?  That’s why I’m here seeing you in...