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stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...

Millions of Men are Getting Bactrim for Summer

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With summer here a new trend is sweeping the nation among Mediterranean-descent men: Bactrim. When we looked into this odd trend, via google search, we...
Sudoku

Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal

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NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary...
Lego foot pain Dilaudid

CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Patient Admitted with Acute on Subacute on Subchronic on Chronic Congestive Systolic Heart Failure

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CHARLESTON, SC - Sure to both please medical coders and confuse medical staff, hospitalist Mitchell Essex has listed as the first problem on his...
obs observation unit

Patient Transferred from Observation Unit to Intervention Unit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Physician assistant (PA) Iris Jones thought it was just another day in the Observation Unit or Obs Unit.  She made...
pharmacy

Doctorate of Pharmacy Programs to Add CVS, Walgreens Rewards Card Education Requirement

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WASHINGTON, DC - As a result of successful congressional lobbying efforts by the “big corner drug store” lobby, doctorate of pharmacy programs nationwide will...

Lawless Family Boldly Sits in “Well” Section of Pediatric Waiting Room Despite Kids Clearly...

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CHEVY CHASE, MD—Shameless. Ballsy. Chutzpah. These are some of the words being used to describe a family that had the audacity to sit in...

Buried Placenta Grows Baby Tree

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over...
nurses getting awards

Plastic Trophy Nursing Awards Given in North Carolina

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RALEIGH, NC - North Carolina has the proud distinction of being the first state in the country to require nurse licensure.  In 1903, the...