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General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness

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CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing...
doctor on computer

Breaking: Residency programs agree to limit administrative emails to 87 a day

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Wichita, Kansas – 67 residency programs from 21 states released a joint statement in which they acknowledge the need to restrain the amount of...
discharged patient

Patient Accidentally Discharged Home with Telemetry, Nasal Cannula, Central Line, Arterial Line, Nasogastric Tube…

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ST. LOUIS, MO - An embarrassed inpatient team at St. Louis Health Sciences admitted earlier today that they accidentally discharged patient Michael Berman home...
turkey in code cart

Study Finds Lack of Turkey Sandwiches Correlates with Rise of Death in the ER

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CHICAGO, IL - In a new study done by the Patients For Turkey Sandwiches (PFTS), it is found that a lack of turkey sandwiches...
mips

A Hospital Administrator Explains: MIPS

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Hey everybody!  Are you having a good day?  I hope so.  How about this fantastic weather we're having?  Awesome, hey let’s talk about the...
stethoscope fairy

Medical Student Leaves Stethoscope Somewhere in This Godforsaken Hospital

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HELL - Brian Studebaker, MS3, has left his stethoscope somewhere in this god forsaken hospital for the 85th time, sources confirm.  Studebaker describes his...

If You Give An Attending Your Pen

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Twitter sensation @McSassyMD brings you a classic story of friendship, residency, and pens.

Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days,...

Faux Hawk-Sporting Orthopedist Inspires Confidence In His Patients

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OMAHA, NE - Dr. Rory Holloway, an orthopedic surgeon hailing from Nebraska, recently received the state's physician of the year award for the third...

Twas the Night Before Christmas Call

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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the floor Not a creature was stirring, not even the R4; The pager that clung to my waistband...