Pathologist Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Autopsy in the Morning
NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to minimize aspiration and prevent any further delays in management, forensic pathologist Dr. Jason Martin has made his...
God Requires Prior Authorization Before Divine Intervention
HEAVEN ABOVE - Unfortunately for patient Lucas Von hopes for a cure have been put on hold as the ultimate provider of us all,...
Inspira Health Systems Partners with Domino’s Pizza to Streamline Patient Transport
ANN ARBOR, MI - Capitalizing on their track record in efficient pizza delivery, Domino’s Pizza has recently branched out into the health care arena. ...
Women’s Hospital Launches New Baby-Unfriendly Initiative
To combat a steep revenue drop at the Women and Infant’s Hospital, CEO Dr. Trevor Casein has launched a new baby-unfriendly initiative to reduce...
Fellow Takes 5 Minutes on Rounds to Explain How His Residency Was Better Than...
PALO ALTO, CA - Several witnesses at Lucile Packard Children’s reported that yesterday Nikil Kandelwal, MD, took 5 minutes on nephrology rounds to inform the...
Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken...
Red Sharps Containers Replaced by Magic Sword Boxes
MAGIC CITY, ID—If you’ve been at Magic City Medical Center recently, you may have noticed that those iconic red sharps containers that used to...
Researchers Discover Length of “A While”
ST. LOUIS, MO - It turns out, when a patient’s symptoms have been present for “a while,” they began about 4.2 months ago.
So say researchers...
Nomega Approved by FDA
RESEARCH TRIANGLE, NC - Smyth Pharmaceuticals proudly announces the release of its new medication Nullefficaciter Sodium under the trade name Nomega. Nomega recently cleared...
Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...