The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’
In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...
Commotion in the Hospital Cafeteria After Healthy Menu Installed
LOS ANGELES, CA - A pediatric hospital has come under fire after revamping their inpatient food services menu. The director of nutrition at Coastline...
5.8 Million Packers Fans Sign Up to Donate Their Clavicles to Aaron Rodgers
GREEN BAY, WI - After Aaron Rodgers went down in Sunday's game against the Minnesota Vikings (0 Super Bowl trophies in team history), Packers (5...
Fentanyl Lollipops Abused, Authorities Perplexed
WASHINGTON, DC - The Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) are absolutely baffled to hear about recent allegations of...
Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved
MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius. Such is the case with Northrop...
Emergency Department Staff Shocked by Prior Authorization Request
CHADRON, NE - Emergency room physician assistant Chester Preshuns was shocked last Thursday afternoon during transport of his STEMI patient to a cardiac/cath lab...
PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
Urgent Care to Install Drive Thru Window
ATLANTA, GA - An urgent care center in Atlanta, GA will be the first in the nation to provide drive-thru service as part of...