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The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

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I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...

Commentary: Percocet Doesn’t Work for Me Because It Has Tylenol, and Tylenol Doesn’t Help...

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Thanks but no thanks.  Percocet (oxycodone/acetaminophen) doesn’t work for me.  Why?  Isn’t it obvious?  You’re the one with the medical degree and you don’t...
medical doctor

Doctor Absolutely Crushes the Lung Exam This Morning

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AUSTIN, TX - The patient's lungs never stood a chance.  After some idle chit-chat about symptoms of dyspnea and wheeze, hospitalist Miguel Ruiz proceeded...
nurse spies

JCAHO Recruits “Nurse Spies”

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WASHINGTON, DC - A reliable source tells GomerBlog that JCAHO is unhappy about too many hospitals passing their inspections and has started to build...
surgeon tired fusion

Surgical Residency Shut Down for Possible Human Trafficking‏

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA  - The General Surgery Residency of a prominent university in California is currently under federal investigation following allegations of possible human trafficking...

MS-IV Doesn’t Match After Failing to Post Board Scores on Facebook

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James Thomas, a fourth-year medical student, went unmatched this year after he failed to report his passing board scores on his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,...

Invisible Medical Offenses Now Diagnosed as “Nanoaggressions”

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BERKELEY, CA - This week, a working group for the future DSM-VI, the well-recognized psychiatry diagnosis manual, announced that they will be focusing on...
elderly patient

Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias

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Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday. When asked about the...
hipster

Hipster Loses Left Testicle Due to Excessively Tight Pants

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WILLIAMSBURG, NY - Hipster Fletcher Jones was admitted to the emergency room last night with numbness and tingling around the groin.  The incident occurred...

EMRs Merge in Bid for World Domination

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Physicians and Hospital Administrators awoke to a brave new world this morning. The Mainframe Computers and the thousands of Servers loyal to the CERNER...