Physician with MD and JD Sues Self for Malpractice
In a head-spinning display of legal and corporate maneuvering, a Midwestern physician who also holds a law degree has litigated himself for gross negligence...
100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
California Vaccination Rates Soar with Drone-Delivered Vaccines
SACRAMENTO, CA - California reports rapid increases in its vaccination rates, thanks to a new partnership with Amazon Prime’s drone service.
“For years, we’ve had...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
Joint Commission Loses Accreditation After Failing Joint Commission Survey
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – When Mark Chassin MD was named the CEO of The Joint Commision (TJC), he knew he wanted to lead by example....
Excitement of Black Hole Image Tempered by Concerns Over Galactic Coronary Artery Disease
Last month the first images of a black hole were released to the public. Early excitement was quickly tempered by concerns from a...
American College of Gastroenterology Recommends Flossing Rectum Daily
BETHESDA, MD - Influenced by close analysis of guidelines published by the American Dental Association (ADA), new guidelines from the American College of Gastroenterology...
A Cardiologist Explains: Shoulder Pain
Hello, and good afternoon to you. Of course, I know it must be the afternoon because I don't see patients in the morning or...
Pathologist Baffled After First Ever Patient Complaint
DES MOINES, IA – A pathologist for several years, Dr. Boe Beaton thought that he had seen everything a pathologist can see until he...