Surgeon Recommends Amputation as Means of Improving Weight Loss Outcomes
LOS ANGELES, CA - Los Angeles-based vascular surgeon Dr. Jackson Dyers has begun recommending that his patients living with obesity undergo above the knee...
Unit Secretary Wins Nightly ETOH Pool
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Emergency room secretary Lois Mare won the nightly ETOH pool at Topanga Memorial Hospital last night. Her winning guess of 433...
Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication
PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers. Bale is a product...
ABMS approves new subspecialty: High Maintenance Medicine; Hospital Drama Center designation levels to...
Chicago, IL- Due to an unprecedented need, the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS) fast tracked the approval of High Maintenance Medicine as a...
DEA Busts Med Student Publication Ring
A years-long undercover operation ended last week with the arrests of over 45 medical students involved in a publication ring. Stacks of abstracts, posters,...
Doctor’s Day Shortened to a “Heartfelt Doctor’s Minute” in Name of Efficiency
New York City, NY –For the past year, Effin Cluless FNP, DNP, RN, MSN, BLS, ACLS, GED, BFD, OPP, OMG, FFS has been he...
Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...
Today’s Allerlogical Forecast
Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries? If so, there are likely peanuts in your future. But you won't even touch them, because...
Anesthesiologist Admits He Irons His Drapes Before Every Case
ATLANTA, GA - Anyone who has ever worked in an Atlanta Medical Center operating room (OR) with anesthesiologist Rick Rickson notices the same thing:...