Nurses Supporting Fast Food Workers Wage Increase to $15/Hour, 93% of Nurses to Benefit
SILVER SPRING, MD - The American Nurses Association (ANA) made a shocking announcement today: Over 93% of Nurses would benefit from a new proposal...
Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal
HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...
Joint Commission Inspections to Continue on Zoom During COVID Pandemic
The Joint Commision announced today that they are planning to continue regularly scheduled inspections of hospitals during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Experts at the...
Maker of EKG Pads Now Recommends 230-Lead EKGs for Patients
FRIDLEY, MN - New studies are demonstrating that the more EKG leads a patient has, the more accurate the EKG is. Previously, only 12...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Unfortunate Plastic Surgery Leaves Man Nearly Identical To Nicholas Cage
SALEM, OR - The title tells the tale. Oregonian Nate Carthage is now nearly identical to Nicolas Cage after an unfortunate plastic surgery mishap....
Patient Asks About Side Effects, Gets Every Single One of Them
What started off as a routine admission has sent shockwaves through the medical community. Doctors at Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF) Hospital are reporting that...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...
Framingham Heart Study Researchers Release New Risk Score Abacus
FRAMINGHAM, MA - Boasting that it will be easier than ever to estimate the 10- and 30-year cardiovascular risk of an individual, principle investigators...
Covid-19: Newly Released “Contagion 2” Gives People Much-Needed Escape from Reality
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Understanding that Americans desperately need an escape from the non-stop, grim Covid-19 news, Steven Soderbergh, who directed the very popular 2011 original, announced...