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Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing...

Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers

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A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...
tooth emojis

Breaking: Tooth Numbers Replaced By Emojis

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CHICAGO, IL - In a long overdue update to its tooth chart, the American Dental Association (ADA) has replaced the confusing system of tooth...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear...

Ronaldo, Neymar Admit Magic Soccer Sprays Contain Dilaudid

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CHICAGO, IL - Two of the world's best soccer players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar, have told Gomerblog the secret ingredient that makes those magic...

Nation’s Chiropractors, Homeopaths, Naturopaths Notably Absent During Actual Health Crisis

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New York, NY- The Coronavirus continues to wreak havoc across New York City with well over 200,000 infected and 11,000 deaths so far.  NYC hospitals,...
board certification

ABIM Sponsors New Game Show: Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Unable to develop a recertification exam that is satisfactory to all, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) now seems to be trying...
Da Vinci

Da Vinci Recruited by Megatron to Destroy Optimus Prime

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CYBERTRON - In unsettling news today, Da Vinci continues to pursue his dastardly ways by joining forces with the Decepticons.  Citing neglect on behalf on...
upset patients

Sticks & Stones Didn’t Break Area Man’s Bones, Words Did

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Local Ralph Merriam is one lucky man.  Thanks to his medical team and over six hours of emergent surgery, Merriam is...

Breaking: Medical Student Cuts Surgical Knot Too Short

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Medical student Dan Richards was disciplined Thursday for cutting a surgical knot "too short" during a skin closure. "The surgeon told me...