85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart
LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...
Physician with MD and JD Sues Self for Malpractice
In a head-spinning display of legal and corporate maneuvering, a Midwestern physician who also holds a law degree has litigated himself for gross negligence...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta
NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
Mob Boss Agrees to Shoot Man in Kneecaps Before Weekend
CHICAGO, IL - "I swore off horse races for 10 years, but I relapsed," Sam Hemsworth told us from his wheelchair. "Before I knew...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
VA Hospitals to Close their Doors in Honor of Veterans Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - During a holiday season filled with PSLs, sweets and gifts, November has always been a month of giving thanks marked by...
Charting Complication: Hospitalist Develops Stage 4 Sacral Decub
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalist Sofia Candelaria was simply being a good hospitalist by spending 90% of her day documenting things that needed to be...
Fourth-Year Medical Student Unsure if He Should Mention His Parking Ticket on ERAS
PORTLAND, ME - In the already hectic scuttle of fourth year, one medical student is worried about the implications of his recently-received parking ticket...
Hospital Replaces Graham Crackers with Cardboard, Nobody Notices
SAVANNAH, GA - In a new initiative to cut costs, Coastal Hospital CEO Will Slash revealed he swapped out baked cardboard for graham crackers...