Nation’s Nursemaids March to Clear Name
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Nursemaids from around the nation convened on the National Mall Tuesday to rally against what they called, “years of injustice and...
Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better...
Hand Sanitizers with Mom’s Saliva: What You Need to Know
ATLANTA, GA - It is generally accepted that hand-washing with soap and water is the best way to reduce microbes and avoid infections. Hand...
Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission
BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...
12 Days of Christmas – Hospital Style
On the first day of Christmas my true love bought for me, a prep with a colonoscopy.
On the second day of Christmas my true...
After Violating Work-Hour Minimums, Derm Residency Program on Probation
ST. LOUIS, MO - The Dermatology Residency Program at Washington University at St. Louis has been placed on probation after it was discovered that...
American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations
WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
Oh No: Nurse Misplaces Key, Saline Lock Locked Forever
NEW YORK, NY - Nurse Brad Frohne remains frantic this morning. Yes, it has been more than the average level of busy today but...
Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...