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confused gluten

Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity

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NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain.  The New York native,...
radiologist reading MRI

Health System Approves New Priority Level for Radiology Exams: ‘Insanity Stat’

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BOSTON, MA - New England-based hospital system GinormaHealth announced Tuesday that effective August 1st a new priority system would be in effect for all...

Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones

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In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
New England Journal flies

93% of New England Journals Are Rolled Up & Used to Kill Flies

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BOSTON, MA - Maybe don't throw away all those unread New England Journals just yet: A study published in this month's issue of the...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

ED Study Reveals Spectacular Patient Selfishness

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According to a riveting new study delving into the mindset of emergency department patients, as many as 97% of patrons are almost completely unaware...

Controlled Substance Just Wants to Be Treated Like Other Substances

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PHARMACY, USA - “You know, I’m just like everyone else. I just want to be in the same classes, have the same schedule,” lamented...

American Cancer Society: Start Colon Cancer Screening at Embryogenesis

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ATLANTA, GA - Most people should start colon cancer screening not at age 50 as previously recommended but at embryogenesis the American Cancer Society...
holistic medicine

Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis

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SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today.  While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
anesthesiologists tone

Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation

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BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists...
ICD-10

ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014

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WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition.  Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International...