Thousands Dead in Battle Between Ophthalmologists and Optometrists
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of eye care providers were found dead in the streets Monday morning after a vicious battle erupted between ophthalmologists and...
Apple to Introduce New Surgical Gown 7 with No Sleeves
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple Medical just announced their new line of OR gear for the new year: iSurgicalGown 7. This new line takes a...
Big Pharma Launches Implantable Throat Filter Against Coronavirus
A major pharmaceutical company has launched a device to fight against the COVID-19 pandemic. The state-of-the-art implantable throat filter was unveiled at a product...
Girl on Match.com Confused Why Everyone Asks for Her Tonsilectomy Pics
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Samantha Biggins who posted her new status on Match.com: "Just got my T&A done! I feel wonderful!" has been receiving very odd...
DIY Furniture Assembly Stress Test Validated in Landmark Trial
PERTH, WESTERN AUSTRALIA - Researchers at the Outback University Hospital have presented data from their landmark DIY-IKEA trial this week, illustrating the benefit of...
Will I Cry During This Admission?
The hospital can be a scary place, even to frequent fliers. With so much uncertainty about what to expect, it would be nice to...
Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
After Hearing a Patient is in 11/10 Pain Doctor Orders the “Good Stuff”
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “11/10 pain?!?!” Dr. Zimban, an ER physician, proclaimed in astonishment. “Wow that is off the scale, I just can’t believe...
Mysterious Squiggly Line on Monitor Does Not Actually Correlate with Patient’s Biophysical Data
Recent events in the CICU at riverside Methodist left staff nurse Andy Long perplexed about the respiratory lead from the patient mr Rawlings in...
Straight-A Medical Student Eager to One Day Have Very Own Patients Who Completely Ignore...
ST. LOUIS, MO - Expressing that there would be “no greater conceivable opportunity to help others,” top-of-her-class medical student and part-time brownnoser Isabelle Wessington...