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FDA: Keep Reusing Your Mask Until You Eventually Catch Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acknowledging the current shortage of both N95 and surgical masks, the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a very...
chemotherapy

FDA Approves Groundbreaking Postmortem Chemotherapy Protocol

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BOCA RATON, FL - Sending shockwaves throughout the medical community, the Food & Drug Administration approved a postmortem chemotherapy regimen to be administered after...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...

Patient “Catfished” by Doctor, Angry That Yelp Profile Was Not Dr. Sanjay Gupta

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EAGLEVILLE, PA - “People go to Yelp to find the best doctors - the best of the best.  I was relieved to find what I...
guitar

Clinical Scenarios & Songs That Pair Well Together

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We all know about performing CPR to The Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive.  That got us thinking: Maybe we should think of songs for other...
overpenetration underpenetration

#Damnyouautocorrect: Radiologist Diagnoses ‘Cardi B Lines’ on Chest X-Ray

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HOUSTON, TX – A hilarious error has made headlines in Texas recently, when a routine chest X-ray was dictated and reported to have an...
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Trump: Anesthesiology Will Build Border Drape Wall & Pay for It

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Publicly acknowledging that efforts to build a border wall and have Mexico pay for it has failed, President Donald Trump has...
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Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)

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Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating. Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s...
cinnabon

Nuclear Cinnabon Improves Radiology Department’s Patient Satisfaction Scores

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SEATTLE, WA -  In a bold move to increase patient satisfaction, the radiology department at Our Lady of Pseudohypoparathyroidism (OLPHPT) Hospital has introduced a...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...