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Life Savers

True to Its Name: Life Savers Prevented 3 Million Deaths in 2017

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CLEVELAND, OH - A survey conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has gotten everyone's attention as it revealed that Life Savers hard...

OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug

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Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal. NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...
upset patient

Repeatedly Yelling “NURSE!!!” Less Effective Than Using Call Bell, Study Finds

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A new study published in The Lancet shows that using the call bell to get your nurse’s attention is 25% more effective than repeatedly...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
vaccination

CDC: Coronavirus Vaccine Will Be Ready for Refusal By Anti-Vaxxers By 2021

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ATLANTA, GA - Officials at the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) announced today that they believe the new vaccine currently under development...
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...
Lego foot pain Dilaudid

CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...

Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea

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A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...
EMS

EMS Company Offers Subscription-Based Service

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Accessible Ambulance, a local EMS company, will soon roll out a new way to provide care for the greater Indianapolis community...
operating room

Which Surgical Specialty Should You Choose?

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It’s that time of year: residency application season!  You’ve decided that performing procedures, malignant personalities, and years of grueling training are for you but...