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crying hospital

Will I Cry During This Admission?

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The hospital can be a scary place, even to frequent fliers.  With so much uncertainty about what to expect, it would be nice to...
antibiotic free

Local Organic Mom Pleased to Have All Natural, Antibiotic-Susceptibility-Free Infection

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Local organic mom, Fern Meadow, is pleased that her life-threatening leg infection is pandrug-resistant. “When I spiked a fever and saw red...
sun downing

On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning

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NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I...

Social Distancing: Big & Tall Medical Supply Shop Finally Selling Its 6-Foot-Long Stethoscopes

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NEW YORK, NY—Mocked for years for its unpopular line of very long medical equipment, Manhattan Big & Tall Medical Supplies is finally getting the...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...

85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...

Yawning: America’s New Epidemic

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YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas.  Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but...

WHO: Coronavirus Successfully Contained to Planet Earth

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GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - At a televised press conference this morning, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that they have successfully contained the deadly virus...

90% of Healthcare Workers Unaware N95 Has Eroded into Their Skull

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A recent survey found that 90% of healthcare workers in the UCLA Health system were unaware that their N95 masks...

Victoria’s Secret to Team Up with Maternity Ward to In New Line of Post-Partum...

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A lullaby plays gently over the speakers. “That’s our way of letting everyone know a new bundle of joy has entered the world,” the tour...