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sick patient

Sicker Patients Benefit from Reduced Medical Attention

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It has been clearly documented that patients requiring multiple blood transfusions have poorer outcomes than patients who are not bleeding and hence have fewer...
hospital operator code blue microphone

Hospital Operator Fired for Relaying “Code Brown”

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NEW JERSEY – 27-year-old hospital operator, Jeremy Dickerson, was fired last week after accidentally relaying an incorrect message over the hospital PA system.  Dickerson, instead...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley,...

ISIS Plans to Over-Prescribe Antibiotics

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ISIS - The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) released a statement on their social media yesterday with their new terror plans: It isn't quite...
urgent care monkey

Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER

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CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...
nursing diagnosis

Is Your Nurse Trying To Hook Up With You?

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Being admitted as a patient can be a scary and vulnerable time. Why not take this opportunity to get laid in your hospital bed,...

Thanksgiving Miracle: Medical Student Bovies Family Turkey, Remembers to Suction Smoke

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Arlington, Virginia -- This Thanksgiving third year medical student at the University of Virginia and future general surgeon Tucker McMahon offered to carve the...
troponin leak

99% of Health Care Practitioners Have a Troponin Leak at Work

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NEW YORK, NY - Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on a patient without chest pain or shortness of breath and,...

Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes

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LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...
Chart of Death

Coroner Cause of Death: ‘Physical Therapy Note Missing Date and Time’

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ALBUQUERQUE, NM - GomerBlog regretfully reports on a hospital death that could have been saved if the physical therapy note was dated and timed...