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pathology slide

Pathology Slide Fills Out Poor Satisfaction Survey About Pathologist

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area pathologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was informed by Madre De Díos Hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags that his pay will be cut...

The Joint Commission, Useless in the Time of COVID, to Mandate N95 Timers

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The Joint Commission’s executive team, fresh off a socially-distanced golf retreat at Pebble Beach, reiterated its commitment to patient safety and unreimbursed hospital spending...
urinal medical wreath

Record Number of Medical Providers Creating Gifts Using Things Around the Hospital

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ATLANTA, GA - With Christmas right around the corner, you would think medical providers far and wide are scrambling to find and wrap presents...
smart phone

American Association of Doctors Considers Offering MD Degree to Anyone With a Smartphone

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CHICAGO, IL - Citing new evidence that most medical questions can be answered quickly, and occasionally accurately, online, a major physician-accrediting body is considering...
radiologist reading

Radiologist Recommends Against Clinical Correlation

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Dr. Rachel Mondusa, while reading an abdominal CT scan, actually recommended against clinical correlation.  A standard dictation line stated at...

CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything

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WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

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ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
Mr. Peanut

Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...
millenials fomo sapiens

Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken...
med school tuition

Med School to Do Away with Tuition, Will Now Charge Arm, Leg

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American Medical School announced today that it will no longer charge students tuition, but will instead bill for individual limbs. “Two arms for the classroom...