“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern
The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable. No one in...
Updated 2016 Code Constipation Algorithm
BALTIMORE, MD - Let’s face it: constipation is evil. As healthcare providers, there is nothing more crucial than identifying constipation in a patient between...
American Academy of Pediatrics Admits That Children Really Are Little Adults
WASHINGTON, DC - A year-long undercover investigation into the American Academy of Pediatrics’ claim that pediatric patient management was distinct from that of adults has...
Ass**** Novel Coronavirus waiting to mutate until vaccine has been developed
Scientists discover that the novel Corona virus is more of a prick than they had originally thought. It’s viral machinery, although devoid of any...
Chipotle to Win Back Customer Trust by Giving Away Free Antibiotics
DENVER, CO - It’s been a very rough twelve months to say the least for Chipotle, which has seen its reputation severely damaged after...
Take the quiz: Are you an evil insurance company?
1. Have you ever cancelled a preauthorization for a Monday cancer surgery….on a Friday afternoon?
2. Do you send routinely fliers to your customers extolling...
Breaking News: Orthopod Catches Dosing Error
BOSTON, MA - Rotating Orthopedics 4th year resident, Dr. Brandt Sullivan, caught a medication error at Boston Children’s Hospital two nights ago. Dr. Sullivan...
Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic
After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to
COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators...
Dermatologists Now Recommends Scratching That Itch with a Fork
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Going against traditional wisdom, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) has updated its guidelines on itching and now officially endorses everyone...
In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical Center implemented a new cost-cutting measure that hopes to save...