How to Eliminate Patient Handoffs: Work Straight Until Retirement, No Breaks
PITTSBURGH, PA - Hospital administrators at Pittsburgh Healthcare have developed an innovative approach to minimize handoffs and maximize continuity of care. The new Hire-Retire...
Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...
The Similarities & Differences Between ED and ED
Now that you can't say "ER" anymore when referring to the place where drug-seekers go to get Dilaudid, it can be a bit confusing...
Placebo Gene Discovered, Thousands of Studies Invalid
CLEVELAND, OH – In what many are describing as the biggest biology discovery since DNA’s double helix, researchers have discovered the placebo gene.
A team...
Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)
Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating.
Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s...
Doctor Holds Patient’s Pine Bark Extract, Family Furious
KEARNEY, NE - In what can only described as a sh*tstorm, the family of 84-year-old Edward Dwindles expressed their furor when they found out that...
False Alarm: Department of Labor Having Braxton Hicks Contractions
BROOKLYN, NY - OB/GYNs at New York Methodist Hospital are reassuring New Yorkers that the pains felt at the Department of Labor on Schermerhorn Street...
Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door
HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office. Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on...
Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals
KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has...