Wellness Emails Send Physician Into Homicidal Rage
PROVIDENCE, RI - Police were called to Quintac Hospital yesterday to subdue a "violent and deranged physician," according to a department spokesperson. Details are...
Unable to Fix Office Thermostat, Neurosurgeon Removes Own Hypothalamus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Talk to any health care professional and they'll tell you that self-treatment is not the best idea. However, for one...
Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich. "She delivered...
New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...
Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit
KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...
Special Pyxis to Dispense American Flags & Flair
FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA, AMERICA - Hospitals and clinics across this great land of ours will be using special Pyxis machines to dispense American...
Vegan Patient Diagnosed With Organic Brain Disease
Within hours of being rushed to the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, 19-year-old Nevaeh Roy-Abraham was diagnosed with organic brain disease. The Gender Studies major...
New battery-free pager powered by residents’ sweat and tears.
In a seemingly limitless display of fiscal ingenuity, hospital administrators have invented a battery-free pager. Administrators have long lamented the hundreds of dollars wasted...
Embarrassing: Team Doctor Rushes Onto Field Without His Stethoscope Again
DENVER, CO - New York Giants team doctor Scott Rodeo feels like a giant moron as he once again rushed out onto the field...
July Intern Looks Forward to Finding Out This Isn’t Worth It
CHAPEL HILL, NC - University of North Carolina internal medicine intern Warren Burke is about to embark on a long and exciting road, and today...