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glycolysis laid

Glycolysis & Other Medical Terms That’ll Get You Laid Tonight

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Health care professionals are notoriously sleep-deprived, irritable, and unsexy creatures who roam the hospital floors.  It is no wonder that these people, who have...
EKG

Cardiologist Admits to Just Using EKG Computer Interpretation for Over 15 Years

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TOPEKA, KS - Veteran cardiologist, Dr. Ernesto Rodriguez, appeared on 20/20 last night with a shocking revelation.  Dr. Rodriguez admitted to just using the computer...
Mannequin Challenge

Code Team Performs Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge During CPR

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went...

Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby

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LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say the Queen is ready to have another royal baby.  She has...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...

La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers

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CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...
Medical center

Google Medical Center Opens

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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - The brand new Google Medical Center opened its doors to patients this summer.  The gleaming complex is a first of...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

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A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...

Vaping Company Denies New Breastmilk-Flavored E-Cigarette Targets Newborn

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SEATTLE, WA—A Seattle-based vaping company has been forced into damage control amidst claims that its new e-cigarette targets newborns. The basis for the claims...