Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary
To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a...
Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income
In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you...
So Sad: Charcoal Inactivated, Made DNR
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Telling a palliative care team that it lived a long and fruitful life, a small pile of activated charcoal is asking...
Breaking: PT Recommends Hyperacute Rehab
ATLANTA, GA - Stating the potential for significant functional gains and a return to baseline in a matter of minutes, physical therapist Darryl Young has recommended his hospitalized...
Commentary: Hospital Administrator Wants You to Have Some Priorities
Good morning, Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram. Thanks for taking a moment out of your busy hospitalist day to stop by my office as I had requested. Have...
ACGME Limits Resident Work Hours to 168 Per Week
CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to increase resident satisfaction and curb the current epidemic of burnout in health care professionals, the Accreditation Council...
Breaking the ORIF Mold: Orthopedists Repurpose Invisalign for Fixations
BREAKING: Clearview, Tennessee. After seeing the widespread success of Invisalign braces for orthodontists and their patients, orthopedic surgeons have joined the party. Clearview Hospital...
Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
Embarrassing: Team Doctor Rushes Onto Field Without His Stethoscope Again
DENVER, CO - New York Giants team doctor Scott Rodeo feels like a giant moron as he once again rushed out onto the field...
MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients
SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...