Local Man Cures Diabetes After He Refuses His Insulin
SEATTLE, WA – After years of obesity, a high calorie diet and limited exercise Mr. Krendall presented to his local ED after feeling, “crappy”...
Family Practice Office Follows Airlines and Overbooks Clinic on Purpose
After a recent travel mishap during one of his 8 weeks paid vacation, Primary Care Administrator Dewey Kaer was struck with a flash of...
Study Shows Oxygen Less Functional When Nasal Cannula Worn as Headband
ATTLEBORO, MA - A recent study shows that oxygen administration is significantly less effective for patients who wear their nasal cannulas as a headband.
Nasal...
Study: Inverse Relationship Between IQ, Reproductive Capacity
BATON ROUGE, LA - A prospective, observational study out of Baton Rouge reports intelligence is inversely related to reproductive capacity. Investigators quote compelling data...
It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit
KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...
Hillary Cures Insomnia with Yet Another Boring Speech
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The woefully uncharismatic Hillary Clinton has cured insomnia in all Americans with yet another boring speech, this time delivered while accepting...
Tips for New Interns: How to Curl into the Fetal Position
We can certainly feel for all those interns starting this month: their minds are spinning and their cardiac rhythms are just shy of V-tach....
Orthopods Now Offering Virtual Bro-fit Classes
Chicago, IL - Orthopaedists always figured their specialty was science-proof. "One day we will have a cure for heart disease, and the cure for...
Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker
Chief Complaint:
Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain.
History of Present Illness:
This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...