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Suburban ER Named Fibromyalgia Center of Excellence

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - Specifically mentioning its “soothing atmosphere, unrushed physicians, and tendency for staff to not smirk upon mention of the disease,” the Fibromyalgia...
red wine champagne tap Barolo tap

Study: Red Wine in Moderation Good, in Excess Freaking Amazing

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ROCHESTER, MN - Wine enthusiasts bust out the Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, and other red varietals, and get ready to celebrate!  An exciting new...

Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions

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CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...

Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours...
malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

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ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
surgery

Medical Student Inadvertently Contaminates Entire OR by Mere Brief Existence

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ATLANTA, GA - “Don’t touch that!” snapped the surgical tech, referring to anything and everything in the OR at once.  Although he was standing...
va hospital

Simple Healthcare Is Tangentia

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Unlike other healthcare systems around the world, the American healthcare system is finely tuned machine which is easy to navigate and understand by lay...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...

ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...