Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning
NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program...
Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80. “This is...
Stricter Operating Room Attire Policy Now Calls for Decapitation
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After extensive evidence-based research, recent updates to the hospital policy for OR hats and attire were released at the staff...
Hospital Blocks Election Coverage on TVs: Huge Boost to Healing
KEARNEY, NE - What began as a cable bill cutting measure turned into a real miracle of medicine when the hospital dropped Fox News,...
Doctor’s Day Shortened to a “Heartfelt Doctor’s Minute” in Name of Efficiency
New York City, NY –For the past year, Effin Cluless FNP, DNP, RN, MSN, BLS, ACLS, GED, BFD, OPP, OMG, FFS has been he...
Dilaumed: Look-Alike Sound-Alike Medication Praised by ER Physicians and Nurses Everywhere
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new medication that has been deliberately named to be a classic look-alike sound-alike drug, has been welcomed with arms wide...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Landmark Study: Fortnite Superior to Dilaudid in Teenage Males
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY - A groundbreaking new study conducted by CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Poughkeepsie) found that teenage males preferred access to the popular video...