Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail
Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI...
Obstetrics Department Announces Opening of New Geriatric Maternity Ward for Mothers Over 35
BOCA RATON, FL—The proliferation of new fertility treatments, including in-vitro fertilization, and the decision by many women to delay parenthood in order to pursue...
Dr. Oz’s Colonoscopy Reveals That He’s FOS
CLEVELAND, OH - After years of nauseating lies and verbal diarrhea, America’s leading medical quack Dr. Oz finally underwent a much needed colonoscopy today...
Pyxis Stocked with Chocolate to Meet Anesthesia Department Needs
A recent pharmacy audit of the anesthesia department led to a change in pyxis inventory. “We thought going through the anesthesia cart drawers would...
Avascular Necrosis Renamed to Slow Chronic Unfixable Bone Atrophy (SCUBA) to Stop Unnecessary STAT...
BONE ISLAND, FL - A condition long known by a scary-sounding name has been renamed at the American Society for Surgeons of the Hand...
New Vaccination Campaign Seeks to Eradicate Anti-Vax Movement by 2030
WASHINGTON, DC—Jenny McCarthy, once famous for a spread of nude photos in Playboy and now for causing the spread of measles in the US,...
Breaking News: Attending Surgeon Follows Management Advice of Attractive New Nurse
NEW YORK, NY - Earlier this morning on rounds at St. Daniel’s Hospital in New York City, surgical residents and veteran nurses alike were astounded by...
Breaking: Tooth Numbers Replaced By Emojis
CHICAGO, IL - In a long overdue update to its tooth chart, the American Dental Association (ADA) has replaced the confusing system of tooth...
Nigeria Offers Aid to Measles-Plagued United States
NIGERIA - Local Nigerian government officials have released an official statement letting the world know they were grateful for the help the US has provided...
Breaking: Donuts Spotted in Break Room, Two Boxes!
KANSAS CITY, MO - HURRY, HEAD TO 5 WEST!!! In breaking news reaching GomerBlog just minutes ago, there is one... no, scratch that, two...