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avalanche past medical history chief complaint

Buried Under Avalanche of Past Medical History, Rescue Underway to Save Chief Complaint

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nascent intern Jesse D'Amato was only part-way through the opening line of his history of present illness (HPI) when supervising Tulane...
laboratory testing

Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable‏

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
ortho consults infectious disease

Orthopedics Consults Infectious Diseases for Potential Computer Virus

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Dr. Joseph Dell of Orthopedic Surgery was hoping it would be a calm day; no surgeries were scheduled and his...
Superman Kryptonite subclavian steal

Nurse Adds Kryptonite to Superman’s Allergy List

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METROPOLIS, US - During an initial evaluation at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC) where the Man of Steel Superman presented to the emergency room with generalized...

Big Pharma and Mega Hospitals ‘Scared Beyond Belief’ of Tiny Las Vegas Health Clinic

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LAS VEGAS, NV - An innovative and daring new health clinic has been recently launched in downtown Las Vegas.  Inexplicably called Turntable Health and led by...

With USMLE Now Pass/Fail, Residency Directors Dread Having to Read Rest of Application

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ATLANTA, GA—While medical students everywhere rejoice over the news that Step 1 of the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) is moving to a...
malpractice court

Doctor Sues Himself After Misdiagnosing His Own Medical Condition

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BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made international headlines for his shocking decision to sue himself after he misdiagnosed his own illness.  "I demand justice for...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

OB/GYN Fake Laughs at Labor Day Joke for 8,000th Time

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With her mouth stretched into a forced smile and the skin around her eyelids perfectly crinkled, OBGYN Charlotte Davis let out a boisterous fake...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs

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ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so!  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
runner's high

Person Going for Run in 95-Degree Weather Clearly Doesn’t Have Decision-Making Capacity

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ATHENS, GA - Clearly not considering dire consequences like severe hydration, heat stroke, and heat exhaustion, runner Michael Rabdo has shown he does not...