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thanksgiving dinner

Neurosurgery Resident Doesn’t Recognize Own Child at Thanksgiving Dinner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Although aware how busy he is, the family of second-year neurosurgery resident Dr. Michael Duke planned a dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving...

Ass**** Novel Coronavirus waiting to mutate until vaccine has been developed

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Scientists discover that the novel Corona virus is more of a prick than they had originally thought. It’s viral machinery, although devoid of any...
clinic organ samples

Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples

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OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor?  Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. ...
eye chart, visual acuity

Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted

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BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
anesthesiologist hospital

Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time

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In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.” Despite best...
medical student

Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
chest anatomy

Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First

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CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.”  When...

Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms

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DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000.  This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
cell phone brain cancer

Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use

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BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...

Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...

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SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit...