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Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van

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PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday.  A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations

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ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers...

Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes

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LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...

Local ER Hires United Airlines Security to ‘Re-Accommodate’ Drug Seekers

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HANOVER, NJ – The Holy Cross Hospital announced today that they have hired off-duty United Airlines security guards to help "re-accommodate" drug seekers from...

Overbearing Senior Resident Unaware of Own Skill in Alienating Others

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The first day of Marcella Wallace’s dermatology rotation quickly went downhill when she was exposed to Dr. H. William Wellington-Rothschild, Jr. “Call me Chaz, everyone...
pathology slide

Pathology Slide Fills Out Poor Satisfaction Survey About Pathologist

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area pathologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was informed by Madre De Díos Hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags that his pay will be cut...
xray smartphone app

New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home

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CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give...
hospitalist place

Hospitalists Aim to Place All Americans by 2020

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced a new multibillion-dollar PBP initiative, which stands for "Place, Baby, Place!", with the...
PM&R doctor

An Internist’s Guide to STAT Overnight Pages

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At 7:30pm: So what’s the discharge plan for this patient? Follow up: Remind the nurse that you’re the overnight resident and haven’t been attending case...