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Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding

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In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays...
male patient asking for urinal

Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal

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ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked...
princess rubella

Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella

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DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella.  Visitors to Disneyland...

ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies

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After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...
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Psychiatric Trauma Code Successfully Implemented

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ALAMEDA COUNTY MEDICAL CENTER - Following the model set by their colleagues in Trauma Surgery and Emergency Medicine, the Psychiatry Department has implemented a new...
APGAR 10 Apgart Apgar(t) troponin troponins

Royal Baby Born, London Mother Self-Delivers

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LONDON, ENGLAND – With the entire world watching, the Royal Baby was born at 4:24 p.m., weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces, APGARS 8 and 9,...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant

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BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...
EEG

EEG Fellow Accidentally Gets Within 10 Feet of Patient, Unsure of How to Proceed

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BOSTON, MA - In a rare occurrence, last documented in 1987, a neurophysiology fellow came into the line of sight of an actual conscious...
Virgin Airlines Chlamydia

Breaking: Virgin Airlines Diagnosed with Chlamydia

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is scrambling after Virgin Airlines dropped a bombshell at a press conference earlier this morning revealing that...