Allergy-Sniffing Dog Weeds Out Dilaudid-Seeking Liars
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - Rollda-Dice Hospital's ED now sees an extra fifty patients a day since adding an allergy-sniffing dog to its staff.
Danny the...
A Breakup Letter to the Z-Pack
Dear Z-Pack,
We’ve had a good run together. But, my dearest azithromycin, it is time for us to end our love affair. It’s not you....
ASA Updates Algorithm to Account for Redheads
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) released new guidelines that update their infamous ASA classification system to account for the anesthetic...
Cosmetic Dermatologist Desperately Clinging to Some Semblance of a Career in Medicine
MIAMI, FL – Reports have surfaced that Dr. Martina Van Nostrand, a cosmetic dermatologist in the Miami area, is trying desperately to maintain some...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Med Student Gunners Ousted from Lecture Hall Front Row
LOS ANGELES, CA – As with most medical school classes, unofficial "assigned" seats in lecture halls becomes the norm after a few weeks of...
Medical Intern Ready to Take Things to Next Level, Exchange Phone Numbers with Consultant
NEW YORK, NY – Medical intern Cardi Accath is nearing the end of her first month of inpatient medicine and she finally feels ready...
Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...
BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...