Correction: Billionaire Purchases Hundreds of Ventilators FROM Coronavirus-Stricken Hospitals
An earlier version of this article erroneously indicated that the billionaire purchased ventilators FOR coronavirus-stricken hospitals, implying he was going to donate them to...
Therapeutic Hypothermia Ineffective in Patients with Hypothermia
LOUISVILLE, KY - Therapeutic hypothermia, the deliberate reduction of core body temperature to 32 to 34 degrees Celsius, was found to be ineffective and...
Surgeon Recommends Amputation as Means of Improving Weight Loss Outcomes
LOS ANGELES, CA - Los Angeles-based vascular surgeon Dr. Jackson Dyers has begun recommending that his patients living with obesity undergo above the knee...
Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’
EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn."
When questioned...
Disaster Strikes After Intern Accidentally Orders Bowel ‘Regiment’
The world was stunned yesterday by events at County Hospital. Mr. Brown, an 88-year-old man with dementia, had been admitted with altered mental status...
After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs
LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...
Landmark Study: Fortnite Superior to Dilaudid in Teenage Males
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY - A groundbreaking new study conducted by CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Poughkeepsie) found that teenage males preferred access to the popular video...
Obama: I’m Entering The Information As Fast As I Can
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president of the free world told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that he has been “hard at work” trying to...
Bob Costas’ Eye Infection Starting to Get Infected
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection. The infection started in his left eye and has...
Concerned Podiatrist Probes Foot Ulcer Down to Aorta
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Initially concerned a diabetic foot ulcer might in fact be osteomyelitis, podiatrist Alice Short not only successfully probed the ulcer...