CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs
ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so! The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
Blood Sample Spontaneously Unhemolyzes Because Nurse Asks Nicely
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Sources from a local hospital are reporting a miracle, after a sample received by the laboratory spontaneously unhemolyzed following a discussion...
Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares
ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
Surgeon Performs Appendectomy, Still Trying to Convince OR Staff That It Was Infected
KNOXVILLE, TN – General surgeon Dr. Hendrick Knightsville is being credited with quite an acting performance in operating room 7. Dr. Knightsville took a...
Cat on Ventilator, Still Full Code After 4 Years
FREDERICKSBURG, FL - Local cat, Smokey, has been staying in the local vet hospital - in the ICU - for about 4 years. This...
Poll: Why Are Neurologists Consulted?
We polled thousands of neurologists across the world to get down to the bottom of why they are consulted. Here are the top 9...
Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had announced "La La Land"...
Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy
YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding. Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical...
MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients
SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...
Annual Patient Symposium Publishes Top 10 Tips for New Patients
Here are some great tips to drive the residents taking care of you absolutely crazy!
1. Start by talking about your chronic pain. Even...