Zoo CT Scanner Inundated with Morbidly Obese Humans
HOUSTON, TX - The Great Texas Zoo had very high hopes for a newly installed $2M CT scanner. Local veterinarian Dr. Levi Quinn informed...
‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode
SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night. "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said...
Newly-Diagnosed One-Handed Man: Totally Worth it
CUMMING, GA – Doctors on Saturday struggled to find out why patient Robert Shaffer lost his hand. Dr. Virginia Sullivan, an intern on the...
New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...
So You’re Paged While in a Bouncy House, What to Do Next
There you are, jumping around happily in a bouncy house when the unthinkable happens: you get paged. Well, maybe not unthinkable since you are...
Medicine Consulted for History and Physical
IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa Orthopedic Department has gone "all-in." At 13:36 on Thursday, Orthopedic Surgery finally took the plunge from the...
Confrontation Visual Fields Ends in Triple Homicide
CHICAGO, IL – Tragedy struck a quiet neighborhood eye clinic last week after what began as a routine visual field confrontation ended in a triple...
Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire
PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in...
Doctor Shucks Clinical Oysters to Find Clinical Pearls
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Having concluded that the doling out of clinical pearls to new University of Alabama Hospital interns in need of wisdom has led to...
CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...