Virginia Designates Bovie Electrocautery as an Assault Scalpel, Subsequently Bans it
Richmond, VA – In the brief time since the calendar turned to 2020, the Virginia House and Senate have passed several bills aimed at limiting gun ownership in the state.
Today, the legislature turned their aim...
New super powerful MRI machine causes transient reversal of earths magnetic poles but the...
People across the globe were on alert last Monday after mysterious wide spread power outages and electronic failures. Chaos ensued in many airports and bus stations. One fourth of all flights were delayed across...
Dr. Seuss Wrote a Progress Note: The Dung in the Lung
LA JOLLA, CA—After rounding on his patient, the incomparable Dr. Seuss entered the following progress note into Mr. Scott Hess’s chart:
I confess I just assessed Mister Hess.
Do you want to know his progress?
Why yes,...
Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias
Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday.
When asked about the secret to his long life, Jones held up a glass...
Stunned Anatomy Students Meet Lifelike Holograms of Their Cadavers
CINCINNATI, OH—Concerned that their students too often forget that cadavers were once real people with real lives, anatomy professors at Cincy Medical School instituted a major change to the curriculum this year. On the...
First Year Resident Upset with how Attending Manages DKA
PHILADELPHIA- In just her second week of Internal Medicine Residency at the University Hospital, Dr. Jamie Jones was upset yesterday with the way her attending, Dr. David White, was managing Diabetic Ketoacidosis.
“It’s just not...
Legal Department at University Uses Attorneys as Models for PBR Course
The Pelvic, Breast and Rectal (PBR) exams are now being performed on our attorneys in our legal department due to restrictions by that same legal department forbidding the of use of outside contractors due...
Breaking the ORIF Mold: Orthopedists Repurpose Invisalign for Fixations
BREAKING: Clearview, Tennessee. After seeing the widespread success of Invisalign braces for orthodontists and their patients, orthopedic surgeons have joined the party. Clearview Hospital is paving the way as the first to provide Orthopedic...
Goodnight Hospital
In the dark call room
There was a telephone
And a lumpy bed
And a a picture of
An ancient man’s torso and head
And there were three white coats that seemed afloat
And a broken lamp
And the smell of...
Endocrine responds valiantly to Blood Glucose of 201
Local Endocrine fellow and brand-new father, Dr. Patrick Tumble, reports unadulterated joy at getting 3 am phone call regarding a high blood glucose. Dr.Tumble was asleep for the first time in “what felt like...