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Area hospital announces plans to no longer provide complimentary room air

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The current trend of monitizing all aspects of human existence has spread into all corners of society, including health care. Insurance companies have required that physicians prove medical necessity for even the most basic...
stressed medical student

APA Finally Admits It Just Too Damn Lazy to Add Treatment Section to DSM

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WASHINGTON, DC—The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has at long last definitively answered a question that has been floating around ever since the publication of its first Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)...
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Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones

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SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them out for paper catheters. The push to ban the dangerous plastic...
fellow on rounds

Cardiac Cath Clearance: A Rant from the Renal Fellow

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Thank you very much for this very interesting consult for clearance for cardiac catheterization in this lovely man who is unfortunately having a myocardial infarction and needs some contrast dye. Even if his estimated...
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Saint Mary Hospital’s EMR Offers 2 New Discharge Disposition Options: Heaven or Hell

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BETHLEHEM, PA—Following the lead of religiously-affiliated hospitals around the country, St. Mary Hospital recently updated their electronic medical record/order entry system to include two additional discharge disposition options. Normally, when a patient leaves the...

Intern honored for shortening length of stay by leaving everyone NPO

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Intern Connor was given the distinguished length of stay award by prestigious academic hospital. During his acceptance speech he stated he was not surprised as this has always been “his thing.” Driven by fear...

Simple Solution to Medication Non-Adherence: Get Patients Addicted to Their Medicine

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BLUNT, SD—An innovative physician fed up with patients who don’t take their medications as prescribed has successfully lobbied Congress and pharmaceutical companies to adopt his rock-solid plan to improve adherence: Get patients addicted to...

Patients Unable to Pay Hospital Bill Can Stay and Do Scut Work Instead

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WILMINGTON, DE—With no end in sight to the national healthcare debate, one community hospital in Wilmington, DE is experimenting with a new way for patients to pay off their debts. Patients at Wilmington General...
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Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci, said that he had determined “to a high degree of...

Members of Congress may be in permanent cardiac arrest, study find

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Washington (DC). Research published today revealed that many of our politicians may be essentially dead, or close to dead. The study used data mining to evaluate heart rate profile of Washington senators and representatives...