Monday, May 25, 2020

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‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode

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SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night.  "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said viewer Stacy Henderson. John went to the library and studied for...

VA Backlogs To Be Honored On Veterans Day

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PAPERWORK, USA - On November 11, 2014, the United States will be honoring its myriad heroes: the fallen fighters, the surviving soldiers, and the longest-surviving paperwork this country has ever seen.  This year, the Department...

Carinii Sues Pneumocystis for Alimony After He Runs Away with His Secretary Jirovecii

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MALIBU, CA – GomerBlog recently came across a public filing Thursday that had shocking implications.  Carinii, long known to be the partner of Pneumocystis, has filed suit against him claiming that he has been...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear some grass that clogged the mower.”  Kevin told reporters before...
afternoon after

FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill

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INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) late last night. The FDA recently waived the need for...

Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus

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ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique for difficult cases.  While scoping the now world famous "twerker,"...

Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday.  At approximately 7:04 a.m., Hennings interrupted a nursing change of shift report and took the medical...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s this amazing dream you may ask?  Well, it just may...

Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene

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SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors reported abnormally abnormal behavior.  When a 9-1-1 operator gets a call...
Da Boss

Coworkers Claim Employee Is Faking Prosopagnosia, a Neurological Disorder, in Order to Continue Being...

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NEW YORK, NY - “It’s not you; it’s me,” shrugged Mr. David, making an exaggerated sideward glance.  “Or is it you?  Mommy?  Aunt?  I really can’t tell.” Tristan David, a human resources (HR) administrator at O.I.C.,...
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