Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’
DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday. Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines, taking the last of the chuck pads, and changing orders...
Tired of Waiting, Patient Develops “Chest Pain” in ER
ARLINGTON, VA – 32-year-old patient George Hightower rolled his ankle playing basketball this Saturday afternoon. He went to the ER only after much persuasion from friends to make sure it wasn’t broken. Sitting in the waiting room...
The Tale of the Enema and the Trailing Zero Error
LUBBOCK, TX - The Institute of Medicine in 1999 shocked the world when they reported that up to 100,00 persons die each year due to medical errors. Medical practices were changed and procedures modified...
Hospital Medical Student Parking Lot Moved to Neighboring State
PORTLAND, ME - Parking has become a major issue at Maine Medical Center in Portland. Hospital administrator Angela Stevens had to find a solution quickly. "We have patients and employees not being able to find...
Finally, A Story About Weiner’s Junk that Gets Him OUT of Trouble
NEW YORK, NY - Embattled New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has endured scorching attacks from the media on all sides about his questionable interactions with multiple young ladies who are not his wife...
Hospital Having Difficulty in Training New Employee, ‘Mr. Dracula’
NEW BEDFORD, CT – Merryview Community Hospital recently hired a local man named “Mr. Dracula” as a phlebotomist for their laboratory division and their decision has turned out to be a nightmare.
“His credentials were unrivaled...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning questions that one would ask for a typical abdominal pain...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in men to produce breast milk.
Originally a failed drug for women, it...
Radiologist Recommends Against Clinical Correlation
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Dr. Rachel Mondusa, while reading an abdominal CT scan, actually recommended against clinical correlation. A standard dictation line stated at the end of reports taught to all radiology residents in...
Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...
SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit to the E-Z Urgent Kare on Atwood Avenue after some...