Friday, March 29, 2024

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Derm Applicant Shocked to hear Residency Interviews on Zoom, not Instagram Live

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MANHATTAN, NY- Ms. Rosa Shea, rising M4 and dermatology hopeful, was busy adding finishing-filters to her Instagram story – an aesthetic and tasteful picture featuring a cappuccino, a copy of First-Aid, and her Littman...

Study: Cure for Covid-19 Likely in Same Vortex or Alternate Dimension Containing Missing Pens

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark, peer-reviewed study published earlier today in the New England Journal of COVID-19 suggests that the cure for novel coronavirus, better known as Covid-19, is most likely in...

CDC Recommends Swabbing All Orifices Simultaneously for COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to improve diagnostic yield and address the issue of false test results both positive and negative, new guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control & Preventions...

Urologist Attends Elementary School’s Career Day

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Third-grade teacher Mr. Granger’s class has had a ball during their annual career day, where students invite a grown-up to come talk about their job. Scientists, firefighters, and chefs, oh my! But someone probably...
meatball sub

New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass

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All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated” Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been asking for more effective types of weight loss surgeries, especially...
malpractice court

Physician with MD and JD Sues Self for Malpractice

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In a head-spinning display of legal and corporate maneuvering, a Midwestern physician who also holds a law degree has litigated himself for gross negligence and medical malpractice in civil court. Plastic surgeon Vincent Gambini, MD,...
vaccines

Serious About Safety, “Operation Warp Speed” to Enroll 7.8 Billion People in Phase 1...

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WASHINGTON, DC—Leaders of “Operation Warp Speed” (OWS), the government program tasked with developing a Covid-19 vaccine, insist that despite the name, their top priority is safety, not speed. As proof, they announced today that...

The Joint Commission, Useless in the Time of COVID, to Mandate N95 Timers

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The Joint Commission’s executive team, fresh off a socially-distanced golf retreat at Pebble Beach, reiterated its commitment to patient safety and unreimbursed hospital spending by instituting a new initiative. “Given the pervasive practice by...
attending thinks he is funny

Anesthesia Attending Listens to Residents’ Plan Before Telling Them What to Do

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Jose Prada M.D., a Pediatric Anesthesiologist at Miami Children’s has a reputation of being very laid back. But according to Dr. Prada, the key to acquiring the reputation of being laid back is to...

Borderline, Bipolar, and Depression Combined into One Diagnosis to Make Psychiatrist’s Lives Even Easier

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CHICAGO, IL - In an unprecedented update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, three previous separate diagnostic categories will be collapsed into one. “We hade massive numbers of patients presenting with...