Tuesday, July 7, 2020

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Regional Anesthesiologist Master of the Cock Block

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San Diego, California - Bing Feng, MD is not like just any Anesthesiologist.  In addition to the 4 years of medical school and 4 years of residency it takes to practice Anesthesiology, Dr. Fing...

Criminals Decry “Cultural Appropriation” by Masked Civilians

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The latest CDC recommendations for all U.S. citizens to wear face masks when in public has created backlash from an unexpected quarter: career criminals. Long accustomed to wearing masks to conduct their unlawful business, the...

Departmental Didactics Migrated to Jerkmate.com

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In light of the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic and the need for social distancing, your department announced today that all future didactics will be conducted remotely via Jerkmate.com. “This is a challenging time to be a...

Cursed 110-Year-Old Describes Living Through Both Spanish Flu & Coronavirus Pandemics

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NEW YORK, NY—Calling herself the unluckiest woman ever, 110-year-old Dottie Livingston is one of the few people who has been alive for both the Spanish influenza and Coronavirus pandemics. “I just can’t catch a break,”...
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Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room

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Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient. Neurosurgeon Dr. Shortarms commented, "Yea, I mean you just can't trust...
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EHR team regrets letting clinicians vote on project name as BONER upgrade goes live

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Multiple Electronic Health Systems consultants expressed regret Monday over a poorly conceived plan to allow clinicians to vote on their system's project name as BONER upgrade goes live. "I believe the idea came from one...

Citing Principle of Autonomy, AHA Recommends Patients Run Own Codes

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ALLAS, TX—A major principle of medical ethics is that of autonomy, which states that patients should be highly involved in decisions regarding their health care. In an effort to better comply with this essential...

Medical Journals Abandon Editorial Standards to Publish 5th Grader’s Book Report

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In an unprecedented move medical journals across academia have done away with quality requirements to make data available to physicians on the frontlines as quickly as possible. It began with the International Journal of...

Journal of Urology to be renamed “Balls”

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In a controversial move, the American Urological Association (AUA) has changed the name of their prestigious Journal of Urology to Balls. The unanticipated change by the AUA was unveiled without prelude in the latest...

Radiologist no longer calls a spade…a spade

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Atlanta, Georgia- A local radiologist, Dr. Crystal Clear is opening up a new world for radiology. Dr. Clear, a radiologist with over 15 years of experience teaching residents is getting them to classify everyday...
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