Chipotle States Burritos Made with Responsibly Raised E. Coli
SEATTLE, WA - After shutting down 43 locations in the states of Washington and Oregon due to dozens of people being hospitalized for infections by...
Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
“Hands Across the Globe” Fundraiser Aims to Stop Spread of Coronavirus
WUHAN, CHINA—The 1980s’ supergroup USA for Africa, known mostly for its hunger-awareness-raising “We Are the World” tune and “Hands Across America” event, announced yesterday...
Oncologist Dr. Trump: Making Your Body Great Again
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Trump makes his rounds through the halls of NYU's hospital and you can overhear his barking: "Cisplatin you're FIRED,...
Risk Management, Proctology Consulted After RN Confuses PRN and PR Orders
CRESTED BUTTE, CO - In what’s being labeled “an unfortunate incident that we’re all trying to get behind us,” St. Indignant’s Hospital administrator Paul...