German Scientists develops safe, effective tool to remove gerbils from rectums
Oslo, Norway - An advancement that has been heralded as a boon for animal rights and paraphilia aficionados everywhere was recently unveiled at the...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any...
Tree Pollen Levels So High, Trees Themselves Begging for Allergy Meds
ATLANTA, GA - It's not just humans sneezing this spring. According to area allergists, tree pollen levels have soared so astronomically that trees themselves...
Breaking: Code Team Pushes tPA to Lyse Clogged Toilet
DURHAM, NC - Acknowledging they were within the 4.5-hour window since symptom onset and had no other clear alternatives, a Code Team at Duke University...
E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”
A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing...