Call Room Bears Striking Resemblance to Medieval Dungeon
DALLAS, TX - Third-year surgical resident Stacy Collins was shocked when she opened the door to her call room and found its striking resemblance to a medieval dungeon nothing short of uncanny.
"I can't say...
Cardiologist Excited to Cath Winner of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
CONEY ISLAND, NY - Less than 24 hours away from the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Coney Island boardwalk, Mount Sinai cardiologist Maxine Richter is absolutely giddy with emotion as she...
Product Review: Littman’s Cordless Stethoscope
Pros: Portable stethoscope capable of listening to human organ noises. No battery required!
Cons: The cordless nature of the device means you have no excuse not to listen to your patient's heart and lungs.
Littman’s new...
Medical Journals Abandon Editorial Standards to Publish 5th Grader’s Book Report
In an unprecedented move medical journals across academia have done away with quality requirements to make data available to physicians on the frontlines as quickly as possible. It began with the International Journal of...
Latest Research Suggests That a Nice Family Prognosticates Mortality in the Intensive Care Unit
ABSTRACT
Background
A group of 1594 (667 were excluded for lack of relative personality traits) patients in a large metropolitan hospital were enrolled in a research study that aims to prove that having a kind, genial,...
What Your Hospital Coffee Selection Says About You
1) The “For Patient’s Only” Coffee Machine
The feigned ‘exclusiveness’ of this particular brew forces a smug smile on the face of any resident or student saboteur who sneaks away with a morning cup. These...
In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...
ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised Americans to abstain from breathing for at least 2 weeks...
Doctors May Qualify for Law Degree After Completing HIPAA and EMTALA Compliance Training
A report by the Institute of Legal Education states that doctors are likely eligible for a Juris Doctorate degree after completing mandatory training for HIPAA and EMTALA compliance.
According to Jay Braslow, president of the...
Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms
ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he focused his hollow stare into the middle of his desk,...
Staying True to Their Identity, Chipotle Launches New Foodborne-Illness Menu
DENVER, CO - Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand. Realizing they can really get away with anything, Chipotle has released its new...
