Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was reluctant to say anything. "He told me his bottom hurt,"...
Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals? Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they think they have the answer. “Here at Mercy Hospital, we...
Brave Campaign Bars Zombies from the ICU
PARMA, OH - It all started when an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead played on the TV in the ICU family lounge. Within minutes, patient family members with power of attorney rights signed hospice and...
STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there. Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad to report that there are now numerous outbreaks of sexually...
Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today. New studies just released by The Lancet indicate that patient care nears "total neglect" status...
ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits
HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift. The new policy mimics a common Halloween tradition: leave a bowl...
Hospital Operator Fired for Relaying “Code Brown”
NEW JERSEY – 27-year-old hospital operator, Jeremy Dickerson, was fired last week after accidentally relaying an incorrect message over the hospital PA system. Dickerson, instead of announcing "Code Blue!" made a near fatal mistake and...
Food Truck Entrepreneur Now Providing Endoscopies
OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN HEALTH SYSTEM - Let's face it, hospital cafeteria food is hideous, even when it's labeled correctly. That's why people in scrubs line up every day for the half a dozen food trucks park...
Cardiologist Admits to Just Using EKG Computer Interpretation for Over 15 Years
TOPEKA, KS - Veteran cardiologist, Dr. Ernesto Rodriguez, appeared on 20/20 last night with a shocking revelation. Dr. Rodriguez admitted to just using the computer interpretation of EKGs as his own interpretations for the past...
Standardized Patient Suing Medical School After No One Detected Prostate Cancer
TAMPA BAY, FL - 56-year-old Michael Finnerly has been volunteering his services to the local medical school's standardized patient program for several years. Last week he was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he visited his local physician for a...
