On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning
NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I first started to suspect sundowing when the on-call attending Dr....
Reminder: Vasopressin First-Line for Treatment of Sticker Shock
MOUNT PROSPECT, IL - With holiday shopping in full swing, the Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM) is reminding health care professionals that vasopressin is first line for the treatment of patients hospitalized in...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that hospital gowns no longer be tied in the back in...
Put A Little Haart in It
My mother, a biology teacher, turned me onto infectious diseases (ID) when I was just a prezcobix youngster, feeding me documentaries on parasites and letting me stay in bed all day to read The...
The Joint Commission on Satire Releases Consensus International Butthurt Scale
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The Joint Commission on Satire (JCS) released the results of their 2nd annual meeting to include the first ever consensus International Butthurt Scale. “The prevalence and severity of butthurt on the...
NASA Diagnoses Milky Way Galaxy with Lactose Intolerance
HOUSTON, TX - If you ever thought that our solar system has a funky smell but could never figure out what it was, you're not alone. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has...
Physician DCs Bed in Order to Get Patient to Leave Hospital
DETROIT, MI - In a fit of mild rage and decisive action, local physician Dr. Enuf wrote his final order in the battle with an entrenched patient who refuses to leave the hospital. “Discontinue bed...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this coming 2017-2018 influenza, proclaiming that zero people will catch the...
No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All
PHILADELPHIA, PA - During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental status in the medical intensive care unit (MICU), the neurology consult team noticed that they were not consulted on a...
Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap
ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first and last tubes, the so-called "champagne tap," continues in failure...