After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
Gastroenterologists Discover New Orifice in Armpit
In an earth-shattering discovery sending shockwaves throughout the medical community, a team of gastroenterologists have announced the presence of a new orifice deep in...
Why Not: CDC Recommends Adding Vanco & Zosyn to the Water
ATLANTA, GA - Finally accepting the reality that antibiotic stewardship among health care professionals is just a pipe dream, Acting Director of the Centers...
CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’
ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...
Appropriate IM Consult Criteria According to IM Versus According to Ortho
WOONSOCKET, RI - After a decades long proxy battle typically waged through interns and passive aggressive notes, the leaders of the Internal Medicine and...
Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated
On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping...
Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines
ATLANTA, GA - Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose how he was doing with lifestyle changes in regards to...
Typo Accidentally Sends Doc to PubeMed Website, Not PubMed
BALTIMORE, MD - It took hospitalist Christopher Gray a few moments of staring at steady stream of pictures involving male and female genitalia to realize...
Hurricane Force Winds Coming From Colonoscopy Suite
BOSTON, MA - In the wake of Hurricane Harvey, a new threat is developing in nearby Mercy Hospital. Witnesses report hurricane force winds billowing...
Purell Releases New Life-Sized Foaming Body Sanitizer
AKRON, OH - Realizing that clean hands was the tip of the iceberg, GOJO Industries, Inc. have announced their biggest and baddest Purell product yet:...