Nursing

Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven

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VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead of the standard ten.  Now, thanks to the hard work...
hospital administrator golfing

A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators

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Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant: I am an agent of change and will under-appreciate the hard-won scientific gains of those providers...
medical music festival

Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015

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INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for 2015, which will be held between March 6-8 in Indio,...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

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BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at Niagara Area Hospital (NAH),  it is reserved for an RN...
board certification

Joint Commission to Offer Board Certification

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OHIO - The Joint Commission announced today the creation of a pathway to board certification in Joint Commission rules and inspection practices.  "We are excited to offer a new qualification to those who seek...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10 medical providers are annoyed by the gross and exaggerated misuse...
styrofoam stetoscope

Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope

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ABSTRACT Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent transmission from patients in contact isolation to other nearby patients...
joint commssion tips

Petition to Rip Down All Joint Commission Tips and Pearls Sheets from Bathroom Stalls...

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How sick are you of seeing Joint Commission tips and acronyms printed out and taped to bathroom stalls?  If you are like most health care providers, you are fed up with them.  A new...
er nurse

ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead

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ZIP CITY, AL - After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in Zip City, Alabama has been bursting at the seams, with...