Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016
The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated. The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here. So let's kick them off:
5: Mayo Clinic - As you...
Orthopedic Surgeon General Declares Today “National Bone Day”
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Brock Hammersley has announced he will declare today a national holiday honoring all bones - past, present, and future - who have served...
Breaking: New Earwax Impaction Guidelines Released, World Rejoices
ALEXANDRIA, VA - YES!!!! The American-Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery has dropped some serious knowledge on the world with their newly-published and much-anticipated updated guidelines on the management of cerumen (earwax) impaction!! I KNOW!!...
CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction
ATLANTA, GA - Citing people as a major cause of epidemics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hopes to eliminate infections once and for all by recommending against any and all human interaction....
Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a full-fledge shootout involving "shotguns and pistols" between the Atlanta Falcons...
CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General
ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or HIV). As spokesperson for the CDC Felicia Adams explained, "Look,...
Unbelievable: Trump Signs Executive Order to Limit ER Usage
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The executive orders (EO) just keep coming. President Donald Trump just signed an EO stating: "No one is allowed to go to the Emergency Room with a cold." What?! Is he...
Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax
ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". These were held after Cleveland Clinic promoted anti-vaccination (or anti-vax)....
Local Man Has Ingenious Plan to Join Gym January 1st
LOUISVILLE, KY - Local man Doug Sims is beaming with pride today as he started his long over-due work out plan. "I had an a such a unique idea, to start my exercise plan...
‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s morning. Typically the phrase will be slurred while holding hands...