elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
P90X Kegel

Product Review: P90X Kegel Edition for Urinary Incontinence

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Pros / Tony Horton's new P90X Kegel program can transform your pelvic floor muscles from flab to fab in just 90 days, curing incontinence...

Toxicologists: Spice Overdoses Falling, Pumpkin Spice Overdoses Soaring‏

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TERRE HAUTE, IN - Toxicologists all over the country have noted a disturbing trend with regard to street drug overdoses: while overdoses of Spice...

Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition

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Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years.  This one in the hospital was none other than the best....

Doctor Puts Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips and Salsa in Waiting Room, Business Booms

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Dr. Dufunk, while watching Dancing with the Stars with his wife, noticed during a commercial that putting Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips out in your...
computer colonized keyboard

National Healthcare Crisis Solved in Blog Comment Section

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MADISON, WI - In a lesser-known EM Physician’s blog, found buried in the comment section, contains the solution to our nation’s healthcare crisis.  After...

Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea

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A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

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DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got...