Chuck Norris Vs. Super Bacteria: Norris Wins
DALLAS, TX – A new super bacteria has emerged in the world and it is feared to be one of most dangerous bugs to...
New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth
LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...
Parent Uses Landmark Paper ‘No Difference in Scrape Healing Placebo Vs. Band-Aid’ Without Success
OMAHA, NE - Local resident Amy Shoemaker has tried to inform her children over and over that Band-Aids applied to only superficial wounds make...
Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted...
Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact
When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them. Last week, per the...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
Opinion: Like Michigan Leaders, I Also Prefer My Water Corrosive and Full of Lead
I’m sure you’re reading about the Flint water crisis and thinking the same thing as me: Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, the state’s Department of...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...