Family Cancels Vacation after EpiPen Use
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Bad news from the Carson family house yesterday, Chris and Jenny had to tell their kids that their recent use of...
Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...
COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare
BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of...
‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis
LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently. Diagnosis: Butthurt. That’s right, butthurt...
Nursing Student Enters OR Without Shoe Covers: Beatings Commence
WARWICK, RI - The student nurse stared nervously at the blood-red line bisecting the hallway. Scrub hat and surgical mask, check. Full breakfast and...
COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...
COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE
BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to...
Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication
PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers. Bale is a product...