Joint Commission Announces Pyramids of Punishment for Patient Safety Violations
CHICAGO, IL - In a recent press release, the Joint Commission (known as JACHO) announced the implementation of a punishment system for health care...
Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat
Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news. One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...
Actors Who Played TV Doctors Offered Honorary Medical Degrees, Can’t Afford Them
BOSTON, MA - Esteemed actors Hugh Laurie (House, M.D.), Zach Braff (Scrubs), and George Clooney (ER), known for their masterful portrayals of physicians on...
Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool
MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...
Breaking: New Earwax Impaction Guidelines Released, World Rejoices
ALEXANDRIA, VA - YES!!!! The American-Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery has dropped some serious knowledge on the world with their newly-published and much-anticipated updated...
Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth
LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...
FDA Approves of the Administration of Food & Drugs
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing numerous benefits such as satiating hunger, prolonging life, and treating diseases, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) unanimously approved of...
Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella
DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella. Visitors to Disneyland...
Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide. Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak
ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause. It...