Colossal coronavirus about to devour New York City
NEW YORK, NY - Currently billions and billions of virus-sized Godzillas are wreaking havoc on New York. The coronavirus is speading like wildfire. Now...
COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...
That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff
ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week
ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America? In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...
CDC Predicts 2019 New Year’s Resolution Noncompliance Rate of 100%
ATLANTA, GA - First, the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wants to wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year before it...
To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham...
Chuck Norris Vs. Super Bacteria: Norris Wins
DALLAS, TX – A new super bacteria has emerged in the world and it is feared to be one of most dangerous bugs to...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...