Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...

New OpenBed Medical App May Revolutionize Hospital Visits

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The makers of OpenTable, the world’s leading provider of dining reservations online, have released a new healthcare-based website and medical...

Nation Washes Hands for the First Time

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NASHVILLE, TN - The coronavirus from Wuhan, China is a global pandemic. People are terrified. Hoarding toilet paper, cleaning out grocery stores, and now...

Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms

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CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz.  Let’s Knock It Off! has been...

TV Show “Doctor Who” Changes Name to “Nurse Who” After Realizing There Are No...

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LONDON, ENGLAND - The producers of Doctor Who made a huge mistake: they cast a woman to be the next Doctor Who.  After Jodie Whittaker's...

Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged

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UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary.  The patient,...
measles infection from lack of vaccines

Dr. Andrew Wakefield, Anti-Vaccine Proponent, is in Critical Condition with Measles

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GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - GomerBlog regrets to inform the public that Dr. Andrew Wakefield is in critical condition at Blawarthill Hospital in Glasgow, Scotland with...

Medical Meth to Increase Tax, Dental Revenue

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JAY, FL - Not since legalized marijuana increased Colorado's Revenues and Frito Lay's profits, has a drug’s side effects so quickly boosted another profession’s revenue....
ventilator

CDC Offers to Make Thousands of Flawed Ventilators

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ATLANTA, GA - To atone for the release of flawed testing kits for the detection of novel coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control &...

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...