No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
Amazing! Instant Pot Turns Graham Crackers Into Beef Stroganoff
DALLAS, TX - Score another big win for Instant Pot and its followers: Following a brutal overnight call, second-year internal medicine resident and Instant...
IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter
ARLINGTON, VA - In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) strongly recommends health...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Chipotle to Win Back Customer Trust by Giving Away Free Antibiotics
DENVER, CO - It’s been a very rough twelve months to say the least for Chipotle, which has seen its reputation severely damaged after...
CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week
ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America? In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...
Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing...
Ebola Virus: I’m Really Uncomfortable with All This Attention I’m Getting
Good morning, American citizens. Let me introduce myself: I'm the Ebola virus.
PLEASE! Calm down, calm down and please allow me a few words. I...
Oh No! ZDoggMD was Attacked by a Lion on Live Stream
LAS VEGAS, NV - Looks like Healthcare 3.0 will have to wait. ZDoggMD was attacked by a lion on his live stream today. ZDogg...
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...