RxCupid a New Dating Site for Patients

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PALO ALTO, CA - A new dating site has received its initial funding, called RxCupid.  The website tries to match the perfect patients together....
princess rubella

Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella

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DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella.  Visitors to Disneyland...

Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

Opinion: Like Michigan Leaders, I Also Prefer My Water Corrosive and Full of Lead

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I’m sure you’re reading about the Flint water crisis and thinking the same thing as me: Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, the state’s Department of...

Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...
surgical bouffant

Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap

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For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country.  Recently, hospitals have begun banning the...

Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot

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DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot.  The irony is found in contracting a...
meatball sub

Search-and-Rescue Spots Man’s Penis Under Fourth Panniculus

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CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has some exciting news to report: 59-year-old Fred Turntable is crying tears of joy this morning after he was reunited...