IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...
Local Man Has Ingenious Plan to Join Gym January 1st
LOUISVILLE, KY - Local man Doug Sims is beaming with pride today as he started his long over-due work out plan. "I had an...
Joint Commission Mandates All Patients Be Known As Bob
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission today released new guidelines for protecting patient privacy. The guidelines mandate that all hospitalized patients be known...
Olympic Hospital Ready to Treat Athletes and Fans From Deadly Brazil
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - The 2016 games are predicted to be the most deadly since the 100 AD games when many Christians lost to...
FDA Approves of the Administration of Food & Drugs
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing numerous benefits such as satiating hunger, prolonging life, and treating diseases, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) unanimously approved of...
Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...
Doctor Sues Himself After Misdiagnosing His Own Medical Condition
BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made international headlines for his shocking decision to sue himself after he misdiagnosed his own illness. "I demand justice for...
Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken...