CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country. There have now been over...
Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....
VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep
MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’
WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary...
Why I Became a Hospital Administrator
After carefully surveying the shifting American healthcare landscape for the past decade, I retired from my increasingly headache filled private practice and said to...
Wearing Santa Hat Not Curative for Burnout, Career Dissatisfaction
BOSTON, MA - A new study published in a special Christmas edition of the New England Journal of Burnout has unfortunately found that wearing...
Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...