1 in 4 Americans Have No Emergency Savings in Their Blood Banks

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WASHINGTON, DC - According to a yearly survey by the American Red Cross, more than 25% of Americans in 2014 have no emergency savings in...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
drone Santa hospitalized

Trump Proposes ‘Depo Drones’ as Means to Curb Welfare Expenditures

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NEW YORK, NY -  Presidential-hopeful Donald Trump continues to make noise as the GOP front runner, as he yesterday announced a novel, if not...

OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug

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Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal. NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...

Blood Banks Bring Green Blood to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

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CHICAGO, IL - The Chicago River has been dyed green to celebrate St. Patrick's Day every year since 1962.  Borrowing the idea to bring...
Fogo de Gout

Branding Transparency: Fogo de Chão Renames Itself Fogo de Gout

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DALLAS, TX - In an effort to increase transparency to its loyal customers, the beloved Brazilian steakhouse, Fogo de Chão, has announced it will rebrand...
zdoggmd

‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently.  Diagnosis: Butthurt.  That’s right, butthurt...

Starbucks Offering Frappuccino Drips for a Limited Time

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SEATTLE, WA - To help mitigate caffeine withdrawal in its hospitalized customers, Starbucks will be partnering with inpatient pharmacies for a limited time to...

CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything

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WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...