Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab

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SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out.  Pay was decreasing and vacation...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...

European Society of Cardiology Recommends Aspirin Before World Cup Final Kickoff

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Heeding the advice of the European Society of Cardiology (ESC) ahead of the 2018 FIFA World Cup Final at Luzhniki Stadium...
webmd kiosk

Health Experts Amazed at Diagnostic Ability of New WebMD Kiosks

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CHICAGO, IL - A new plan unveiled by WebMD plans to take strain off of primary care physicians. "This is undoubtedly the next step in...
medical gauze

This Day in Medical History: Patient Bled to Death When Only a 3 x...

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1917 - Patient Joseph Hails suffered from a wound that was exactly 4 inches by 4 inches.  His injury wasn’t unique,...

Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares

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ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
e-cigarette

Responding to E-Cigarette Trend, American College of Medicine Releases Guidelines Recommending Natural Cigarettes

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) craze has swept the nation, with modest beginnings several years ago leading to annual sales now surpassing $1...

COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance

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ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
traffic jam Flonase

Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage

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CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...

This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall.  Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher...