ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse

0
SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse...

Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop

1
BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops.  Dan...

Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...

New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody

0
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
Mr. Peanut

Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself

0
PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...
cyborg emr

Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware

0
"And just like that, the world burned."  Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...
honest patient

Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients

0
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
used speculum tongue depressor

Ten Spectacular Off-Label Uses of the Speculum

0
You’re probably familiar with the traditional use of the speculum: visualization of the cervical os, blah blah blah.  We at Gomerblog are pleased to...
laboratory testing

Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable‏

35
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
Cookie Monster Sexy Bod

Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...

0
JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman!  So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...