Luke(s), I Am Your Father
MODESTO, CA - A sperm bank in Modesto has confirmed what millions suspected.
Before he was Darth Vader, the leader of the dark side, Anakin was...
VA Backlogs To Be Honored On Veterans Day
PAPERWORK, USA - On November 11, 2014, the United States will be honoring its myriad heroes: the fallen fighters, the surviving soldiers, and the longest-surviving...
National Healthcare Crisis Solved in Blog Comment Section
MADISON, WI - In a lesser-known EM Physician’s blog, found buried in the comment section, contains the solution to our nation’s healthcare crisis. After...
FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We...
10 Out of 10 Providers Annoyed Vaseline & Baseline Don’t Rhyme
ATLANTA, GA - Through a series of questionnaires and polls, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has uncovered a secret epidemic in...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...
Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill
WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage...
Daenerys Still Waiting on Prior Authorization to Conquer Westeros
DRAGONSTONE, WESTEROS - Daenerys Targaryen, or the Queen of Dragons, is still waiting on prior authorization to conquer Westeros and rule the Seven Kingdoms. "I put...
Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...