Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General
NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...
Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years. This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella
DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella. Visitors to Disneyland...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
This Day in Medical History: Patient Bled to Death When Only a 3 x...
THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1917 - Patient Joseph Hails suffered from a wound that was exactly 4 inches by 4 inches. His injury wasn’t unique,...
Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer
BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...
ICD-10 to Include Code for ‘Dr. Oz Says,’ Automatic Trigger for Level 5 Visit
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The ICD-10 has recently added a last minute section to include codes for an epidemic that has been creeping into US...
Hospital with Low Survivability Submits Plans for New Employee Draft
DELAWARE - Recent published reports state morbidity and mortality rates are absolutely atrocious for Community Hospital. According to the US News & World ratings...
Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist
ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her...