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FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

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DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...

Obama: I’m Entering The Information As Fast As I Can

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president of the free world told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that he has been “hard at work” trying to...
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Breaking: New Earwax Impaction Guidelines Released, World Rejoices

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ALEXANDRIA, VA - YES!!!!  The American-Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery has dropped some serious knowledge on the world with their newly-published and much-anticipated updated...

Hospital with Low Survivability Submits Plans for New Employee Draft

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DELAWARE - Recent published reports state morbidity and mortality rates are absolutely atrocious for Community Hospital.  According to the US News & World ratings...

ICD-10 to Include Code for ‘Dr. Oz Says,’ Automatic Trigger for Level 5 Visit

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The ICD-10 has recently added a last minute section to include codes for an epidemic that has been creeping into US...
New Year's Resolutions New Year's Resolutions noncompliance rate

CDC Predicts 2019 New Year’s Resolution Noncompliance Rate of 100%

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ATLANTA, GA - First, the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wants to wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year before it...

New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody

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Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
brain biopsy

FIFA Requiring “Soccer Biter” to Have Brain Biopsy to Look for Rabies

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BRAZIL - In a stunning announcement today, FIFA officials will require Luis Suarez, the Uruguayan soccer player who bit Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini in the...