Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van

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PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday.  A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...

Joint Commission Announces Pyramids of Punishment for Patient Safety Violations

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CHICAGO, IL - In a recent press release, the Joint Commission (known as JACHO) announced the implementation of a punishment system for health care...
hand washing

IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t

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ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
webmd kiosk

Health Experts Amazed at Diagnostic Ability of New WebMD Kiosks

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CHICAGO, IL - A new plan unveiled by WebMD plans to take strain off of primary care physicians. "This is undoubtedly the next step in...
donut hole ACA

Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling

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WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...

Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship

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DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing.  Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital...
Nurses must now wear reflective belts

Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications

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NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it....
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction

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ATLANTA, GA - Citing people as a major cause of epidemics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hopes to eliminate infections once and...

Archeologists Discover Ancient Disability Papyrus

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GREECE - Last week on the Greek island of Lesbos, a team of archaeologists unearthed a primitive disability papyrus signed by Hippocrates himself in 405...