nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...

Texting While Operating Now Illegal in 5 states

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SACRAMENTO, CA – On Monday California became the 5th state to ban texting while operating.  This new legislation came after Dr. Kenneth Fellet texted...

Pneumatic Tube System for Patient Transport a Huge Success

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ROCHESTER, MN - One month into its experimental trial run, the Mayo Clinic made an announcement today that the implementation of a pneumatic tube...

Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs

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MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations.  In an unprecedented move...

This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall.  Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher...
ICD-10

ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014

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WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition.  Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs

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ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so!  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...

Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’

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Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found.  The work in the...
football wash hands play

NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play

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NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...