Easter Not Recognized as Holiday, Riots Ensue at Catholic Hospital

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HOSPITAL OF THE RESURRECTION - Religion is not a quiet affair at this institution.  Morning and evening prayers are broadcasted over the PA system...
sneezy

Sneezy Files $5 Million Malpractice Suit Against Doc

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ORLANDO, FL - Sneezy, a sickly member of the so called, “Seven Dwarves,” filed a malpractice suit yesterday against his fellow dwarf, Doc, for...

NASA: Mars Rover Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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PASADENA, CA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, NASA has announced that Mars rover Curiosity has tested positive for coronavirus. This is a shock...
radiology

CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country.  There have now been over...

Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’

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Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found.  The work in the...
Doc McStuffins, Lambie

Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended

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SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

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ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...
Sudoku

COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Lego foot pain Dilaudid

CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...