Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
New OpenBed Medical App May Revolutionize Hospital Visits
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The makers of OpenTable, the world’s leading provider of dining reservations online, have released a new healthcare-based website and medical...
Nation Washes Hands for the First Time
NASHVILLE, TN - The coronavirus from Wuhan, China is a global pandemic. People are terrified. Hoarding toilet paper, cleaning out grocery stores, and now...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been...
TV Show “Doctor Who” Changes Name to “Nurse Who” After Realizing There Are No...
LONDON, ENGLAND - The producers of Doctor Who made a huge mistake: they cast a woman to be the next Doctor Who. After Jodie Whittaker's...
Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged
UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary. The patient,...
Dr. Andrew Wakefield, Anti-Vaccine Proponent, is in Critical Condition with Measles
GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - GomerBlog regrets to inform the public that Dr. Andrew Wakefield is in critical condition at Blawarthill Hospital in Glasgow, Scotland with...
Medical Meth to Increase Tax, Dental Revenue
JAY, FL - Not since legalized marijuana increased Colorado's Revenues and Frito Lay's profits, has a drug’s side effects so quickly boosted another profession’s revenue....
CDC Offers to Make Thousands of Flawed Ventilators
ATLANTA, GA - To atone for the release of flawed testing kits for the detection of novel coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control &...
Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...