astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General

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ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or...
pens

CDC Recommends Against Loaning Out Your Pen if Someone Asks for It

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ATLANTA, GA - Lost amidst the opioid and obesity crises over the past few years, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has...
vaginal bleeding

Commentary: I Wish Someone Would Tell Me Why My Vagina Keeps Bleeding

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My name is Valerie.  I'm thirty-five years old and I've been blessed with good health my entire life.  I'm happily married and have two...

CDC Warns Man Buns Harbor Zika Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control has issued a very clear warning: Do not date or interact with any men with man...

Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper

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Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
staph staff

Chuck Norris Vs. Super Bacteria: Norris Wins

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DALLAS, TX – A new super bacteria has emerged in the world and it is feared to be one of most dangerous bugs to...
cold illness

NSW Health Official Confirms: ‘Nothing Going Around’

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - When 38-year-old Sydney accountant Peter Preston presented to his local GP earlier this week with coryzal symptoms, lethargy and a high temperature,...

Food Truck Entrepreneur Now Providing Endoscopies

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OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN HEALTH SYSTEM - Let's face it, hospital cafeteria food is hideous, even when it's labeled correctly.  That's why people in scrubs line up...

Local Man Has Ingenious Plan to Join Gym January 1st

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Local man Doug Sims is beaming with pride today as he started his long over-due work out plan. "I had an...