Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage...
astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

0
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
crying infant

Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’

4
NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...
Jerome Adams Surgeon General Surgeon Colonel

Surgeon General Turfs Public Health to Hospitalist General

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the complex medical comorbidity of our country's citizens, Surgeon General Jerome Adams has turfed the public health to Hospitalist General...
baby aspirin

FDA Reminder: Baby Aspirin Not Actually Meant for Babies

0
SILVER SPRING, MD - Looking to clear things up to the confused American public, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a reminder that...
laboratory testing

Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable‏

35
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
polar vortex

Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures

0
SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

96
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...

Bob Costas’ Eye Infection Starting to Get Infected

2
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection.  The infection started in his left eye and has...
virtual runner treadmill

Treadmill Drama: A**Hole Virtual Runner Won’t Move Out of the Way

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - With a rare opportunity to exercise, third-year surgical resident Jason Mann's excitement to go running on his apartment complex treadmill this...