astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...

OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug

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Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal. NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...
polar vortex

Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...

Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’

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Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found.  The work in the...
Chart of Death

Coroner Cause of Death: ‘Physical Therapy Note Missing Date and Time’

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ALBUQUERQUE, NM - GomerBlog regretfully reports on a hospital death that could have been saved if the physical therapy note was dated and timed...

Fourthhand Smoke Leading Cause of Respiratory Illness in Munchausen Patients

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NEW YORK, NY - The Association for Self-Diagnosis, affiliated with numerous major medical schools, has identified fourthhand smoke as a new threat to the...

Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...

Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares

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ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...

Local Hospital Has New Policy: Ask for Dilaudid, Get Dilaudid, No Questions Asked

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COLUMBUS, OH - A local hospital is trying a new, controversial but more efficient approach to medical care.  “We have changed our guidelines, if you...