Report: Medical School Limiting the Number of Creepy Applicants to Cut Down on Creepy...
OMAHA, NE – Creighton University led the nation last year in normal to above normal applicants. "We have a pretty good applicant pool when...
COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged
UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary. The patient,...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham...
Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management
WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...
Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...
JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman! So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...
VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed
PHOENIX, AZ - Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right...