Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

0
KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

0
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...

Clinic Patient Brings Meds in McDonald’s Bag, Must Be Compliant

0
NEW YORK, NY - At 8:35 AM this morning, patient Philip Kruger showed up to his primary care clinic appointment with his medications stuffed...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

0
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

0
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...

Medical Emojis Translated for the Masses

0
Are you new to medicine?  Or born before 1991?  We have all your medical emojis right here with the translation so you can get...

Pneumatic Tube System for Patient Transport a Huge Success

29
ROCHESTER, MN - One month into its experimental trial run, the Mayo Clinic made an announcement today that the implementation of a pneumatic tube...

Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition

0
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years.  This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

0
PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants...
lab test

New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels

79
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...