Mr. Potato Head fryer French fries

Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer

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BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...

COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line

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NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide...

Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson.  He has been unable to...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Washing Hands for 30 Minutes Before, After Each Patient Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that health care professionals can do more to prevent the spread of germs, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...

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ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”

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ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had...
pokemon go

Pokemon Go Video Game Gets People To Go Outside

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CHICAGO, IL - Doctors are flabbergasted by what Nintendo has achieved. For years, they have been telling patients to stop playing video games and...
drunk texting

Report Recommends Lowering BAC Threshold to 0.05% for Drunk Texting

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to curb regret the morning after, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) recommends state governments...