toilet paper

FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...
ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse

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SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse...

CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:   COVID-19 is a...

Physicians Excited to Find Out Bundled Payments Are Literally Just Bundles of Cash

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BALTIMORE, MD - In breaking news today, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) reported that they are continuing their push toward bundled payments...
remote village

Impoverished Village Featured in its 500th Medical School Admission Essay

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MKUYUNI, MWANZA REGION, TANZANIA - A rural Tanzanian village is celebrating a major milestone today: being featured in its 500th medical school admission essay. The village, with...

Archeologists Discover Ancient Disability Papyrus

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GREECE - Last week on the Greek island of Lesbos, a team of archaeologists unearthed a primitive disability papyrus signed by Hippocrates himself in 405...

Physician-Americans to Be Listed in Next U.S. Census as Newest Ethnic Group

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Census Bureau has just announced that Physician-Americans will be listed as a choice in the 2020 Census survey.  Capitalizing...
botox injection

Local Mom Meets Fellow Anti-Vaxxer at Botox Clinic

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Charlotte mom Sarah Catherine Murdoch, 34, was delighted to make a new friend after striking up a conversation with another patron...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

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ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...

European Society of Cardiology Recommends Aspirin Before World Cup Final Kickoff

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Heeding the advice of the European Society of Cardiology (ESC) ahead of the 2018 FIFA World Cup Final at Luzhniki Stadium...