CDC Official: I Want You to Think Really Hard as You Personally Battle Ebola
Hi. I work for the CDC and I was assigned to your case I traveled from Atlanta as soon as I heard the news....
Malpractice Attorneys Without Borders Program Announced to Aid Legally Underserved Countries
NEW YORK, NY – The National Legal Aid and Defender Association announced today the establishment of MMAWB (Medical Malpractice Attorneys Without Borders), a group...
CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”
ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...
Earth Day News: After 4.5 Billion Years, Earth Remains Full Code
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - After a two-hour long meeting with NASA’s palliative care service, Earth has decided to remain Full Code.
“Hey now, I’m...
CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs
ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so! The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...
Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van
PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday. A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...
Ten Spectacular Off-Label Uses of the Speculum
You’re probably familiar with the traditional use of the speculum: visualization of the cervical os, blah blah blah. We at Gomerblog are pleased to...
Government to Mandate Scale-Operated Doors at All American Buffet Restaurants
WASHINGTON, DC - At the urging of First Lady Michelle Obama, the POTUS has issued an executive order aimed at curtailing the staggering rates...
Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween
HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...