Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones
BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...
Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares
ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA...
If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General
NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...
Breaking News: American Patient Takes Responsibility for Own Health
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - During multidisciplinary rounds on a cardiology unit at the University of Virginia Medical Center (UVAMC), a glimmer of hope was revealed...
Physicians Excited to Find Out Bundled Payments Are Literally Just Bundles of Cash
BALTIMORE, MD - In breaking news today, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) reported that they are continuing their push toward bundled payments...
No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
Hospital Opens New Outdoor Wintertime Med-Surg Unit
BIRMINGHAM, AL - This winter season has been historically busy with influenza A wreaking havoc on health care systems, which are filled to the...
Major Setback! Scientists Haven’t Worked on Vaccine, Just Been Looking at COVID-19 Memes
ATLANTA, GA - At the CDC the nation has accumulated the world top-notch scientists to work on a Coronavirus Vaccine. After 2 months of...