U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”

0
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

0
NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it...

Entrance of New Children’s Hospital to Feature Adorable Animal Footprints Leading Families Directly to...

1
DALLAS, TX - As construction continues on the new 300-bed children’s hospital here, officials today announced some exciting design details to the general public.  According...
burned out physician

Patient Care Cited as Major Hindrance to Workflow

0
ATLANTA, GA - In a new study by the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), patient care as been cited as the single...
astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

0
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...

Heaven & Hell in Lockdown After Both Test Positive for COVID-19

0
HEAVEN ABOVE & HELL BELOW - Bad news for those who think that life after death will finally grant a reprieve from the viciously...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Why Not: CDC Recommends Adding Vanco & Zosyn to the Water

0
ATLANTA, GA - Finally accepting the reality that antibiotic stewardship among health care professionals is just a pipe dream, Acting Director of the Centers...

COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line

0
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide...
meatball sub

Search-and-Rescue Spots Man’s Penis Under Fourth Panniculus

0
CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has some exciting news to report: 59-year-old Fred Turntable is crying tears of joy this morning after he was reunited...

Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons

0
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...