Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his...
COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...
Report Recommends Lowering BAC Threshold to 0.05% for Drunk Texting
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to curb regret the morning after, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) recommends state governments...
Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling
WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...
Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...
ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise. "A little warning, next...
Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission
BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...
How to Become Gluten Intolerant
Ever wonder how you can become gluten intolerant even if you don't actually have gluten intolerance or celiac disease? We have found a video...
Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...