New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody

0
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...

Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat

0
Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news.  One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...

Obama: I’m Entering The Information As Fast As I Can

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president of the free world told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that he has been “hard at work” trying to...

COVID-19: Derm Braces for Surge in Dry, Cracked Hands

0
SEATTLE, WA - As a result of a marked uptick in handwashing by the American public in response to pandemic coronavirus, dermatologists across the...
Gergio Answering Questions

Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’

0
DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday.  Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines,...

Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided...
honest patient

Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients

0
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

0
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...

Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

0
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...