Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing...
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Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
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Orthopedic Surgeon General Declares Today “National Bone Day”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Brock Hammersley has announced he will declare today a national holiday honoring all...
va hospital

Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...
Teratoma

Tooth Fairy Refusing to Take Teeth from a Teratoma

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Monday, Brittany Friedly underwent surgery to remove a mass on her left ovary.  It was a teratoma that contained hair and 7 gnarly teeth. ...
toilet paper

FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...

Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill

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WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage...
Nurses must now wear reflective belts

Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications

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NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it....
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CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End

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ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...
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USPSTF Recommends Against Getting Kicked in the Balls Repeatedly

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BOSTON, MA - In an update of their 2006 recommendation statement, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) now recommends against getting kicked, smacked,...