CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs
ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so! The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014
WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition. Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International...
George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis
DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday. Dubbya said he...
Chipotle to Win Back Customer Trust by Giving Away Free Antibiotics
DENVER, CO - It’s been a very rough twelve months to say the least for Chipotle, which has seen its reputation severely damaged after...
EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens
WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
Hospital Opens New Outdoor Wintertime Med-Surg Unit
BIRMINGHAM, AL - This winter season has been historically busy with influenza A wreaking havoc on health care systems, which are filled to the...
COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...
Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
Qdoba Offering Free Hepatitis to Compete with Chipotle
LAKEWOOD, CO - Despite Chipotle’s recent infectious debacles, it still has maintained the loyal support of its hardcore fanbase, who are easily willing to...