Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
Report: Hospital CEO Was a Big Help in Clinic Today
ST. LOUIS, MO – Outpatient care sources are reporting that Sacred Heart Hospital CEO David Larson III really helped out during clinic today.
"Dave really...
COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what to do when no N95 respirators or facemasks are available,...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Run-4-the-Cure 5k Fun Run, 3 Runners Shy of Cure
ATLANTA, GA - The 23rd annual "Race-4-the-Cure Fun Run & Walk" released a statement Monday: "Our annual Fun Run & Walk fell 3 runners short...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
AMA: Casino Cruise Business ‘In the Works’
CHICAGO, IL - The American Medical Association (AMA) was initially formed to represent the interests of physicians and "to promote the art and science of...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...