Program Offers Bone Marrow Transplant for Anti-Vaxxers

0
A new program funded by a group of private donors will allow any healthy person who is staunchly opposed to vaccinations to undergo a...

Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs

7
MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations.  In an unprecedented move...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

0
NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs

0
ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so!  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

0
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...

FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in...
drunk texting

Report Recommends Lowering BAC Threshold to 0.05% for Drunk Texting

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to curb regret the morning after, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) recommends state governments...

Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea

4
A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...

Qdoba Offering Free Hepatitis to Compete with Chipotle

0
LAKEWOOD, CO - Despite Chipotle’s recent infectious debacles, it still has maintained the loyal support of its hardcore fanbase, who are easily willing to...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

0
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...