Program Offers Bone Marrow Transplant for Anti-Vaxxers
A new program funded by a group of private donors will allow any healthy person who is staunchly opposed to vaccinations to undergo a...
Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room
NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine. "I'm trying it...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself
PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Tips: Is It Allergies or COVID-19?
With coronavirus (COVID-19) season starting up and allergy season fresh upon us, we wanted to give you some tips on how to tell the...
Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl Wanders Off Medicine Floor, Gets Captured by Surgery
SAN ANTONIO, TX – Sgt. Bergdahl was being treated by an internal medicine team at Hope Mercy Hospital for routine care on Wednesday, when he...
COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...