Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...
1 in 4 Americans Have No Emergency Savings in Their Blood Banks
WASHINGTON, DC - According to a yearly survey by the American Red Cross, more than 25% of Americans in 2014 have no emergency savings in...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We...
Breaking: Batman Diagnosed with COVID-19
GOTHAM CITY - Less than two years after he was hospitalized for pulmonary histoplasmosis, Batman has bounced back to Gotham City Medical Center...
Physician-Americans to Be Listed in Next U.S. Census as Newest Ethnic Group
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Census Bureau has just announced that Physician-Americans will be listed as a choice in the 2020 Census survey. Capitalizing...
Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
Heaven & Hell in Lockdown After Both Test Positive for COVID-19
HEAVEN ABOVE & HELL BELOW - Bad news for those who think that life after death will finally grant a reprieve from the viciously...
Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms
ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...