Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19

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BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and...

COVID-19: New 10-Foot Stethoscope Allows Exam from Safe Distance

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MAPLEWOOD, MN - 3M has announced plans to ramp up production of a new Littmann COVID-19 stethoscope specially designed with 10 feet of tubing...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

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DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...

COVID-19: Thankful On-Call ID Doc Paged Only 43,589 Times Today

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BOSTON, MA - Despite America coming to a screeching halt at the hands of a pandemic caused by novel coronavirus COVID-19, a very thankful...
Mother Earth Paris Accord hospice

With Plug Pulled on Paris Accord, Planet Earth Eligible for Hospice

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THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - Hours after the world learned of the United States’ intention to withdraw from the 2016 Paris Agreement, Mother Earth...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered,...

Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity

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NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
wrist x-ray

TSA Takes Wrist X-Rays for Poorly-Insured Passenger

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NEW YORK, NY - Shocked at the out-of-pocket costs he was incurring for the care of his recent wrist fracture, New York area resident...

Unbelievable: Trump Signs Executive Order to Limit ER Usage

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The executive orders (EO) just keep coming.  President Donald Trump just signed an EO stating: "No one is allowed to go...