Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition
OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...
Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware
"And just like that, the world burned." Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...
Joint Commission Announces Pyramids of Punishment for Patient Safety Violations
CHICAGO, IL - In a recent press release, the Joint Commission (known as JACHO) announced the implementation of a punishment system for health care...
Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself
PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...
Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes." Mylan...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
Staying True to Their Identity, Chipotle Launches New Foodborne-Illness Menu
DENVER, CO - Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand. Realizing they can...
NSW Health Official Confirms: ‘Nothing Going Around’
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - When 38-year-old Sydney accountant Peter Preston presented to his local GP earlier this week with coryzal symptoms, lethargy and a high temperature,...
Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General
WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense...
VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep
MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...