EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens
WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...
Lion King Remake to Include Mufasa’s Prolonged ICU Admission and Futile Care Prior to...
ANAHEIM, CA - Disney studios has announced that the remake of the Lion King, slated to be released in mid-2019, will feature a more...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
COVID-19: CDC Recommends We Move to Antarctica While We Still Have the Chance
ATLANTA, GA - Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight...
Blood Banks Bring Green Blood to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day
CHICAGO, IL - The Chicago River has been dyed green to celebrate St. Patrick's Day every year since 1962. Borrowing the idea to bring...
NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play
NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...
Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab
SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out. Pay was decreasing and vacation...
CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...