Treadmill Drama: A**Hole Virtual Runner Won’t Move Out of the Way
BIRMINGHAM, AL - With a rare opportunity to exercise, third-year surgical resident Jason Mann's excitement to go running on his apartment complex treadmill this...
New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...
Luke(s), I Am Your Father
MODESTO, CA - A sperm bank in Modesto has confirmed what millions suspected.
Before he was Darth Vader, the leader of the dark side, Anakin was...
Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship
DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing. Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital...
New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...
Study: Inverse Relationship Between IQ, Reproductive Capacity
BATON ROUGE, LA - A prospective, observational study out of Baton Rouge reports intelligence is inversely related to reproductive capacity. Investigators quote compelling data...
American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations
WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine
MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...
Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology
LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
New CMS Regulations Force Doctors to Literally Jump Through Hoops
TACOMA, WA - Stipulations released last month by the Center for Medicare Services have added on to the already onerous documentation requirements necessary for...