CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’
ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...
COVID-19: Derm Braces for Surge in Dry, Cracked Hands
SEATTLE, WA - As a result of a marked uptick in handwashing by the American public in response to pandemic coronavirus, dermatologists across the...
Nigeria Offers Aid to Measles-Plagued United States
NIGERIA - Local Nigerian government officials have released an official statement letting the world know they were grateful for the help the US has provided...
VA Backlogs To Be Honored On Veterans Day
PAPERWORK, USA - On November 11, 2014, the United States will be honoring its myriad heroes: the fallen fighters, the surviving soldiers, and the longest-surviving...
Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill
WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage...
CDC: “Don’t Forget to Check Human Orifices for Easter Eggs”
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) would like to take this opportunity to wish everybody a "Happy Easter!" and hopes...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's...
Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...