astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...

Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding

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BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...

Parent Uses Landmark Paper ‘No Difference in Scrape Healing Placebo Vs. Band-Aid’ Without Success

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OMAHA, NE - Local resident Amy Shoemaker has tried to inform her children over and over that Band-Aids applied to only superficial wounds make...
sneezy

Sneezy Files $5 Million Malpractice Suit Against Doc

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ORLANDO, FL - Sneezy, a sickly member of the so called, “Seven Dwarves,” filed a malpractice suit yesterday against his fellow dwarf, Doc, for...

Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus

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ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...

Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged

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UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary.  The patient,...

Program Offers Bone Marrow Transplant for Anti-Vaxxers

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A new program funded by a group of private donors will allow any healthy person who is staunchly opposed to vaccinations to undergo a...
cryptocurrency meningitis

Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis

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ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
urological association

Lyrics to the Men’s Health Christmas Carol Favorite: “Check Your Balls”

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It is the Season of Giving.  Don’t put your d*ck in a box to spread that Christmas cheer; instead, consider performing a testicular self-exam....
Pyxis Surgeon General

Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General

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WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense...