FDA Streamlines Drug Approvals by Eliminating Cumbersome Process of Reviewing Evidence

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A new report published in JAMA (Journal Against Medical Advice) found the Food and Drug Administration's plan to streamline the process...

Hospital Fortress Built to Deter Winter Surge in Patient Volume

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an effort to withstand the imminent increase in patient volumes with the coming of winter, Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) administrators...

Words With Friends to Add HIPAA-Compliant Messaging

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The popular mobile game, Words With Friends, just added HIPAA compliant secure messaging.  Spokesperson Gene Catterspolti said, "It was a highly requested feature as many...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...

COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island

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NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s...

A COVID-19 Miracle: Jesus Turns Water into Hand Sanitizer

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BETHLEHEM - Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into...
nutritionist

Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist

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ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...

Joint Commission Mandates All Patients Be Known As Bob

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission today released new guidelines for protecting patient privacy.  The guidelines mandate that all hospitalized patients be known...