Breaking: Scott Pruitt Leaves EPA to Join Hospital Ethics Committee
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald J. Trump announced over Twitter this afternoon that Scott Pruitt will be leaving his leadership role as Administrator of...
That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff
ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide. Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
USPSTF Recommends Against Getting Kicked in the Balls Repeatedly
BOSTON, MA - In an update of their 2006 recommendation statement, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) now recommends against getting kicked, smacked,...
After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy
BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer. “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...
AMA: Casino Cruise Business ‘In the Works’
CHICAGO, IL - The American Medical Association (AMA) was initially formed to represent the interests of physicians and "to promote the art and science of...
Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat
Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news. One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...
Telemedicine Doctor Probably Wearing Shorts, Possibly Only Boxers
BOCA RATON, FL -- Patients have long wondered what telemedicine provider Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram is wearing on the bottom half of his body during remote...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug
Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal.
NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...