Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug
Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal.
NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
CVS to Limit Opioid Prescription Length to 7 Days, Unless You Say “Pretty Please?!”...
WOONSOCKET, RI - Stepping up to the plate to help combat the ongoing opioid epidemic, CVS Pharmacy has adopted a new opioid policy that...
Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding
BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...
True to Its Name: Life Savers Prevented 3 Million Deaths in 2017
CLEVELAND, OH - A survey conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has gotten everyone's attention as it revealed that Life Savers hard...
Qdoba Offering Free Hepatitis to Compete with Chipotle
LAKEWOOD, CO - Despite Chipotle’s recent infectious debacles, it still has maintained the loyal support of its hardcore fanbase, who are easily willing to...
COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive
BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients...
Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...
Tide Pods Found to Have Dangerously High Levels of Gluten and GMOs
CINCINNATI, OH – The recent uptick in teenagers intentionally eating Tide Pods has been garnering a lot of media attention lately, but the real danger...