Toxicologists: Spice Overdoses Falling, Pumpkin Spice Overdoses Soaring
TERRE HAUTE, IN - Toxicologists all over the country have noted a disturbing trend with regard to street drug overdoses: while overdoses of Spice...
Study: Inverse Relationship Between IQ, Reproductive Capacity
BATON ROUGE, LA - A prospective, observational study out of Baton Rouge reports intelligence is inversely related to reproductive capacity. Investigators quote compelling data...
COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations
ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers...
“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia
Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year. Hyperkalemia, which...
Lion King Remake to Include Mufasa’s Prolonged ICU Admission and Futile Care Prior to...
ANAHEIM, CA - Disney studios has announced that the remake of the Lion King, slated to be released in mid-2019, will feature a more...
Report: Hospital CEO Was a Big Help in Clinic Today
ST. LOUIS, MO – Outpatient care sources are reporting that Sacred Heart Hospital CEO David Larson III really helped out during clinic today.
"Dave really...
Surgeon General Turfs Public Health to Hospitalist General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the complex medical comorbidity of our country's citizens, Surgeon General Jerome Adams has turfed the public health to Hospitalist General...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction
ATLANTA, GA - Citing people as a major cause of epidemics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hopes to eliminate infections once and...