Congress Passes Canadian Health Care Act: ‘Let’s Just Mooch Off the Canadians’
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After the House of Representatives postponed the vote on the American Health Care Act (H.R. 1628) yesterday afternoon, a bipartisan group of congressmen...
Branding Transparency: Fogo de Chão Renames Itself Fogo de Gout
DALLAS, TX - In an effort to increase transparency to its loyal customers, the beloved Brazilian steakhouse, Fogo de Chão, has announced it will rebrand...
Daenerys Still Waiting on Prior Authorization to Conquer Westeros
DRAGONSTONE, WESTEROS - Daenerys Targaryen, or the Queen of Dragons, is still waiting on prior authorization to conquer Westeros and rule the Seven Kingdoms. "I put...
How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot. The irony is found in contracting a...
CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End
ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...
Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
Staying True to Their Identity, Chipotle Launches New Foodborne-Illness Menu
DENVER, CO - Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand. Realizing they can...
Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries
DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks”...