Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing...

Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website

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BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
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CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally

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ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...

Joint Commission Mandates All Patients Be Known As Bob

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission today released new guidelines for protecting patient privacy.  The guidelines mandate that all hospitalized patients be known...

Program Offers Bone Marrow Transplant for Anti-Vaxxers

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A new program funded by a group of private donors will allow any healthy person who is staunchly opposed to vaccinations to undergo a...

COVID-19: Thankful On-Call ID Doc Paged Only 43,589 Times Today

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BOSTON, MA - Despite America coming to a screeching halt at the hands of a pandemic caused by novel coronavirus COVID-19, a very thankful...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Pictures Now Worth 2300 Words, Up from a Thousand, Time to Chart with...

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ATLANTA, GA - In a development that may have implementations for charting and medical documentation and all the health care professionals lucky enough to...

FDA Streamlines Drug Approvals by Eliminating Cumbersome Process of Reviewing Evidence

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A new report published in JAMA (Journal Against Medical Advice) found the Food and Drug Administration's plan to streamline the process...
butthurt anal resection

Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt

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CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...