Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List
Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has...
With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....
Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon
NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy. He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy." Like most medical...
Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
Local Nurse and Intern Declare EMR Documentation War
COOPERSTOWN, NY - Citing a "clearly aggressive nursing note" which was felt to be "the absolute last straw," medical intern Edward Costa formally declared a documentation...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m....
Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size
PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless. If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size. The ultimate...