maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery

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KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a...
tip jar

Intern Spotted Rounding with Tip Jar, Asking for Spare Change

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Medicine intern Randy McMichael has been trying to make his measly paycheck last each month.  Despite making the usual sacrifices -...

Roger the Resident in Tears, Freed from Medicine Captivity

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Roger Springfield, a 28-year-old internal medicine resident at St. Louis University Hospital, was rescued last weekend by conservationists after being...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
LOS

Study: Length of D/C Summary Inversely Proportional to Length of Stay (LOS)

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BETHESDA, MD - A landmark study conducted by the National Institute of Documentation (NID) has proven once and for all the length of a discharge...

Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene

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SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
medicine resident

Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients

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BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and...
medical students

New Personal Statement Formula Wows Medical Residency Program Directors

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NEW YORK, NY - A new U.S. News and World Report survey has projected that the 2015 Medical Residency Match rate will likely hit 100% with nearly...
N95 99 negative AFB sputums

Paranoid Intern Rules Out TB with 99 Negative AFB Sputums

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BOSTON, MA - Not taking any chances when it comes to his patient's and his very own health, July intern Reed Evans plans to...

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...