new medical interns

Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns

0
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

0
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...

Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients

0
Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without...
surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

0
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
doctor on rounds

Former College Athlete Overusing Sports Analogies on Rounds

2
FRESNO, CA - Having just completed his intern year, medicine resident and former collegiate shortstop Logan Myers is brimming with confidence.  "Man, during my...

Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today

0
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the...

VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed

0
PHOENIX, AZ - Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

0
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
residents

ACGMEmojis to be the standard evaluation tool for resident feedback

0
ACGMEmojis: the modified visual analog scale ☠💩🗑👊🏻⭐️🍪💰💣🏆 In recent years, medical education has undergone a major overhaul in philosophy. There has been a steady shift away...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

0
BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...