Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List
Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has...
New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds
CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician. She has been desperately trying to...
At Medical School Reunion, Class of 2007 Celebrates 10 Years of Debt, Utter Exhaustion
BOSTON, MA - This Gomerblog author was on-hand for his Boston University School of Medicine Class of 2007 reunion last night, and it was...
Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds
PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...
Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years. This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM
Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am. At press time Dr. Smith could not...
Treadmill Drama: A**Hole Virtual Runner Won’t Move Out of the Way
BIRMINGHAM, AL - With a rare opportunity to exercise, third-year surgical resident Jason Mann's excitement to go running on his apartment complex treadmill this...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
Former College Athlete Overusing Sports Analogies on Rounds
FRESNO, CA - Having just completed his intern year, medicine resident and former collegiate shortstop Logan Myers is brimming with confidence. "Man, during my...