medical student

Medical Student Reports He’s ‘Just Not That Interested’ In Clinical Rotation; Attending Physicians Quit

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A shocking series of events has left Salem Teaching Hospital in complete disarray. The issues began when third-year medical student Daniel Greene bluntly stated...
fellow on rounds

Fellow Takes 5 Minutes on Rounds to Explain How His Residency Was Better Than...

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PALO ALTO, CA - Several witnesses at Lucile Packard Children’s reported that yesterday Nikil Kandelwal, MD, took 5 minutes on nephrology rounds to inform the...

Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients

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ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...
sunset at the hospital

Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...
geriatric patient survived

Geriatric Patient Miraculously Survives a 4-Day Weekend in the Hospital

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NORTH PLATTE, NE - It was a true Christmas miracle for geriatric patient, Alfred Dwindles, when he found himself alive and without significant healthcare-induced...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
preying on interns

New Law Now Requires Nurses to Obtain Hunting License Before Preying on New Interns

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SACRAMENTO, CA – The controversial bill which aims to protect new interns from being exploited by hospital staff was signed into law by Governor...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...