Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
How to F***ing Shine on the Wards: A Med Student Guide to Getting Honors
We all want that coveted “H.” Here’s how to be a star on the wards:
1. On the first day of rotation, don’t forget the...
CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...
Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy
YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding. Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical...
Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients
ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...
Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy
RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...
MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet
BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today. "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a...
Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians
ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap
ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first...
Tinder Acquires Scheduling Software AMiON, Creating TinderResident App
Following years of agony among chief residents attempting to input schedules into the AMiON.com interface, a major change is underway: Tinder is now acquiring...