ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...

Newly-Diagnosed One-Handed Man: Totally Worth it

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CUMMING, GA – Doctors on Saturday struggled to find out why patient Robert Shaffer lost his hand.  Dr. Virginia Sullivan, an intern on the...

Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the...

ACGME Now Restricting Patient Hours, Cites Long Stays Not Helping Residents Learn

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CHICAGO, IL – ACGME released recommendations yesterday that inpatients now have a hospital hour restriction.  “We thought it was about time to limit the...

New Ophthalmology Intern Not Sure How to Spell Ophthalmology

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IOWA CITY, IA - It was a rough start to the year for first-year ophthalmology resident Tony Beamer, who was recently caught trying to spell "ophthalmology," the name of...

Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True

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LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today.  An unfortunate error in...

Brand New Futile Care Fellowship Created

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BOARDMAN, OH - St. Margaret Medical Center released news Thursday that a new cutting-edge fellowship training program would start. Dr. Peg Trachenline couldn’t hide her...
When I was an intern

Old as F**k Attending Tells Team Story Called “When I Was an Intern…”

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a story to make our current generation of residents and interns roll their eyes so hard they'll require ophthalmology...