MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet

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BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today.  "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a...
geriatric patient survived

Geriatric Patient Miraculously Survives a 4-Day Weekend in the Hospital

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NORTH PLATTE, NE - It was a true Christmas miracle for geriatric patient, Alfred Dwindles, when he found himself alive and without significant healthcare-induced...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...
sunset at the hospital

Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...
urinary tract infection

Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
work burnout

FDA approves first novel drug to treat medical burnout

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TWISP, WA - The US Food and Drug Administration today approved Peaceaudi (Idongivafumab) injection for intravenous use for the treatment of medical burnout. “Medical burnout...
medical student menu

Med Student Given Important Task: Find Out What’s on Today’s Menu

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NASHVILLE, TN - Instructed by her team that the task she was being given was of the utmost importance, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student...
medicine resident

Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients

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BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and...
physical exam

Ode to the Death of the Physical Exam

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Here ye, here ye On this day we take the time to remember The loss of a fond friend, The physical exam Gone are the days Of the bedside...
When I was an intern

Old as F**k Attending Tells Team Story Called “When I Was an Intern…”

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a story to make our current generation of residents and interns roll their eyes so hard they'll require ophthalmology...