Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun

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The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
physical exam

Ode to the Death of the Physical Exam

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Here ye, here ye On this day we take the time to remember The loss of a fond friend, The physical exam Gone are the days Of the bedside...
iv pca infusion pump WiFi

Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It

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BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
surgeon yelling

Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”

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BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming...
new medical interns

Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns

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COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...
post call texting

New Study: Clinical Decision-Making Impaired After 30-Hour Calls Based on Post-Call Spikes in Texts...

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ANN ARBOR, MI - The past few years have witnessed several efforts to categorically study the effects of extended calls on residents’ satisfaction, performance, and...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

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BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...
tombstone of doctor

Another Doctor is Paged to Death

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NEW YORK, NY - New York Medical Center (NYMC) is in mourning as they learned of the death of beloved internal medicine physician Amy...
pedal pulse

Intern Tries to Palpate Pedal Pulses, Can’t Locate Legs

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Beads of sweat were trickling down the intern's face.  He was determined. He could do this. It had been over five minutes...
fetal position

Tips for New Interns: How to Curl into the Fetal Position

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We can certainly feel for all those interns starting this month: their minds are spinning and their cardiac rhythms are just shy of V-tach....