White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
Clinically-Depressed Resident Not Flexible Enough for Yoga
TAMPA, FL - In a sad and tragic turn of events, local resident doctor James Hilden was told that he would never fully be...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m....
Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
Old as F**k Attending Tells Team Story Called “When I Was an Intern…”
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a story to make our current generation of residents and interns roll their eyes so hard they'll require ophthalmology...
Attendings Gather for Annual “Housestaff Fantasy” Draft
Twelve attendings from Piermont Valley Hospital gathered in the hospital library last Tuesday at 7:30 pm for their annual "Fantasy Housestaff" Draft.
Dr. Tom Droca,...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
July Intern Looks Forward to Finding Out This Isn’t Worth It
CHAPEL HILL, NC - University of North Carolina internal medicine intern Warren Burke is about to embark on a long and exciting road, and today...
Podiatry & ENT Take July Intern to OR to Surgically Remove Foot from Mouth
PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a classic July intern move that would make Scrubs' Dr. Elliot Reid proud, intern Timothy Wilcox accidentally insulted a woman by asking...