73 miles per hour

Study: The Average Doctor Moves at 73 Miles Per Hour

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BOSTON, MA - A new study published in the New England Journal of Things Involving Feet has found that the average physician in modern...
tips for patients

Annual Patient Symposium Publishes Top 10 Tips for New Patients

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Here are some great tips to drive the residents taking care of you absolutely crazy! 1.     Start by talking about your chronic pain. Even...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...
program director drinking

After Ridiculous Uber Incident, More Trouble for the Miami Neurology Program

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MIAMI, FL - More troubling news is surfacing from the Miami neurology program that is still reeling from the now infamous video of one...
DNR

Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they...
graham crackers 1981 Nabisco vintage

Hangry Intern Opens Up Vintage Packet of Graham Crackers from 1981

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Figuring that there was no better time to celebrate than during this particular overnight call, University of California, San Francisco (UCSF)...

Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did

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EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
on call room

Philadelphia Area Hospital Announces Program to House Homeless in Resident Call Rooms

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - This summer, the board of Philadelphia City University Hospital (PCUH) plan to start moving the area's homeless population into permanent housing...
call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...