How to F***ing Shine on the Wards: A Med Student Guide to Getting Honors
We all want that coveted “H.” Here’s how to be a star on the wards:
1. On the first day of rotation, don’t forget the...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...
BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...
ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students...
The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals
I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition
ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language...
Attendings Gather for Annual “Housestaff Fantasy” Draft
Twelve attendings from Piermont Valley Hospital gathered in the hospital library last Tuesday at 7:30 pm for their annual "Fantasy Housestaff" Draft.
Dr. Tom Droca,...
Anesthesia resident lauded for poise during intubation, admits he had no clue what happened
PORTLAND, OR - Ms. Wee was prepped for her biannual joint replacement in OR 4, but this time would be different. Anesthesia resident Dr....
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...