Disaster Strikes After Intern Accidentally Orders Bowel ‘Regiment’
The world was stunned yesterday by events at County Hospital. Mr. Brown, an 88-year-old man with dementia, had been admitted with altered mental status...
“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List
Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Philadelphia Area Hospital Announces Program to House Homeless in Resident Call Rooms
PHILADELPHIA, PA - This summer, the board of Philadelphia City University Hospital (PCUH) plan to start moving the area's homeless population into permanent housing...
Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
How to F***ing Shine on the Wards: A Med Student Guide to Getting Honors
We all want that coveted “H.” Here’s how to be a star on the wards:
1. On the first day of rotation, don’t forget the...
Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine? Not any more. According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
Graduating Resident Gives Finger to Every Attending in Department Before Leaving
Dr. Will Chou, a graduating internal medicine resident, perfected his time management skills and was able to locate every single attending in his department...
Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK! Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre?
Cons / You...
Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly
BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on...