New Interns Looming: Hospitals Desperately Race to End Pandemic by July 1st
WASHINGTON, DC—If you thought the Coronavirus pandemic was bad right now, just wait until July 1st, the date most new medical school graduates begin...
Surgical Resident Delivers Mid-Case, Stays to Close
MASS. GENERAL HOSPITAL - Dr. Hannah Richards, a 3rd year surgical resident, was 39+0 weeks pregnant going into Thursday. She scrubbed into Dr. Alexander's hemicolectomy...
ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs
WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients
CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...
Surgical Chief Resident Calls for ‘Baywatch CPR’ on the 98-Year-Old Nursing Home Patient Admitted...
As the first wave of respondents to the “code blue” call arrived at the 7 North nursing station, Dr. Stephanie Smith was overheard saying,...
Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’
FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes...
Med Student Performs History & Physical on Broken Fax Machine
ATLANTA, GA - It was an unusually slow day and second-year medical student Bryan Orlando bugged his inpatient medicine team for a new patient...
Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...