call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
73 miles per hour

Study: The Average Doctor Moves at 73 Miles Per Hour

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BOSTON, MA - A new study published in the New England Journal of Things Involving Feet has found that the average physician in modern...
program director drinking

After Ridiculous Uber Incident, More Trouble for the Miami Neurology Program

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MIAMI, FL - More troubling news is surfacing from the Miami neurology program that is still reeling from the now infamous video of one...

Residents Dismiss Report They Rarely Wash White Coats: “We Don’t Wash Our Regular Clothes...

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HYGIENE, CO—According to a recent study, doctors rarely, if ever, launder their white lab coats, a nauseating fact given that these coats carry and...
medical students

New Personal Statement Formula Wows Medical Residency Program Directors

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NEW YORK, NY - A new U.S. News and World Report survey has projected that the 2015 Medical Residency Match rate will likely hit 100% with nearly...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
surgeon tired fusion

Surgical Residency Shut Down for Possible Human Trafficking‏

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA  - The General Surgery Residency of a prominent university in California is currently under federal investigation following allegations of possible human trafficking...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...

Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients

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Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

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BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...