Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines
WASHINGTON, DC - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) just passed a new residency requirement that mandates residents and interns to take a 30-minute...
Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True
LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today. An unfortunate error in...
Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis
NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...
Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated
ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
AAP Announces New Screening Tool for Resident Developmental Delays
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has responded to a request from the American Medical Association (AMA) and constructed a new screening...
Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
Resident Appreciation Lunch Just Leftover Cafeteria Food
Tampa, FL - Calling the event "Historic", and "The first of its kind", Hospital CEO Dale Gerald posed for cameras as he scooped hot...