Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy. He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy." Like most medical...
Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon
BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...
Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun
The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they...
Ask a Drug Seeker
Dear Drug Seeker,
I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes
Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1
Procedure:
This is Spinal Tap.
Date/Time:
Optional.
Indication:
Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea.
Resident:
Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1.
Attending:
Yes.
A time-out was completed to...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies
After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...
Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size
PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless. If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size. The ultimate...