Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
pilot cleared landing doctor hospital

Pilot Consults Medicine, Asks if Plane Cleared for Landing

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DELTA 240 - Just as he started his descent into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after a long transatlantic flight, Captain Jack Wilson asked if "Medicine was...
fellowship

ACGME Approves New Consultology Fellowship

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Chicago, I.L. In this long-due announcement, the ACGME has approved a new Consultology Fellowship. While Consultology has been informally practiced by hospitalists for several...
potato head

Hasbro Unveils Innovative Medical Teaching Tools: Mr. Rectum and Ms. Pelvis

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PAWTUCKET, RI - In response to the paucity of volunteers for critical physical exam instruction, the Council on Undergraduate Medical Education (CUME) has partnered...

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

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CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician.  She has been desperately trying to...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...
surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

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SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...

Fashion Police: Hospital Edition Weighs in on Fanny Packs

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In the most recent installment of Fashion Police: Hospital Edition, host Kathy Griffin along with commentators Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne, and special guest Jennifer...
medical student menu

Med Student Given Important Task: Find Out What’s on Today’s Menu

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NASHVILLE, TN - Instructed by her team that the task she was being given was of the utmost importance, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student...