decaf coffee

Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely

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NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...

Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did

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EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

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Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of...
excited medical students

Year-End Bonuses to be Paid Entirely in Educational Experience

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Tampa, FL - For hospital CEO John Stevens, 2018 was a great year. Profits reached an all time high, and his board members had...
gunner med student

Gunner Med Student Sends Interns Home, Says He’s Got This

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BOSTON, MA - Clearly shooting for the highest grade possible on his internal medicine rotation, self-proclaimed third-year gunner med student Grayson McGravy told the two medicine interns...
champagne tap cava

Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon

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BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...
residents

ACGMEmojis to be the standard evaluation tool for resident feedback

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ACGMEmojis: the modified visual analog scale ☠💩🗑👊🏻⭐️🍪💰💣🏆 In recent years, medical education has undergone a major overhaul in philosophy. There has been a steady shift away...

Lame PCP Doctor Hasn’t Even Tried PCP

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MADISON, WI - Quick!  Hide your beer, get the Visine, because it's time to meet Dr. Dud.  Well, her real name is Dr. Amy...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...