Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun
The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
Next-Generation Robotic Simulation Patients to Contain Real Humans
After years of experience building advanced robotic simulation patients, The SimCenter of America design team thinks they’ve reached another technological breakthrough.
“Basically, we found that...
Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures
Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies
After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...
Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly
BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on...
Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did
EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet
BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today. "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a...
The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet
The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...
Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again
BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...