new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

0
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
decaf coffee

Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely

0
NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup...
Jason

New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors

0
CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

0
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
pelvic exam

The American Board of Board Exams Will Adapt Vignettes to Reflect More Realistic Encounters

0
The American Board of Board Exams (ABBE) announced on their hypoactive Twitter account that the move will modernize the vignettes to better prepare doctors...

Video: 10/10 Abdominal Pain While Eating Doritos & Talking on Her Cell Phone

0
We sat down with Dr. Gomez, a doctor who treated a patient with 10/10 abdominal pain while eating Doritos and talking on her cell...
anesthesia resident

Anesthesia Resident Finishes Reading Entire Internet During Free Flap Surgery

97
NEW YORK, NY – John Silk, a fourth-year anesthesiology resident at State Medical Hospital in New York, will now have his name immortalized in...
dermatologist

After Violating Work-Hour Minimums, Derm Residency Program on Probation

0
ST. LOUIS, MO - The Dermatology Residency Program at Washington University at St. Louis has been placed on probation after it was discovered that...
charting more charting meaning of life

Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting

0
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...

Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left

3
CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold. "You mean to tell me I started...