Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy. He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy." Like most medical...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Know Your Stethoscopes
1. The Disposable Stethoscope
This stethoscope can be found in contact precaution rooms, the ICU, or the pre-op area of an ophthalmology clinic. It’s made...
New Personal Statement Formula Wows Medical Residency Program Directors
NEW YORK, NY - A new U.S. News and World Report survey has projected that the 2015 Medical Residency Match rate will likely hit 100% with nearly...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m....
Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire
PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in...
Housestaff Restricted to 6000 Steps Per Day
In an effort to balance resident wellness and service, the ACGME (Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education) has formally recommended limiting all housestaff to...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
Attending Loses Perspective, Can’t Find it Anywhere
NASHVILLE, TN - "I swear I just had it," muttered 57-year-old vascular surgeon Tom Hatfield as he feverishly searched for his perspective under stacks...