fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
productive cough

Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today

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HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...
pedal pulse

Intern Tries to Palpate Pedal Pulses, Can’t Locate Legs

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Beads of sweat were trickling down the intern's face.  He was determined. He could do this. It had been over five minutes...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
doctors teaching

GomerBlog’s Exhaustive List on How to Survive Internship

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Want to survive Internship? Follow these simple guidelines for success!! Page your attending and ask if it is ok to order Tylenol for a patient Use...

Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun

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The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...

If the Alcoholic Patient in Room 320 Soils His Sheets Again, Nurse Plans on...

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MIAMI, FL - Emily Jenkins, a medical ward nurse, plans on completely "losing it" if the alcoholic patient in room 320 soils his bed sheets...