Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day

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KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy.  He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy."  Like most medical...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...

Know Your Stethoscopes

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1. The Disposable Stethoscope This stethoscope can be found in contact precaution rooms, the ICU, or the pre-op area of an ophthalmology clinic.  It’s made...
medical students

New Personal Statement Formula Wows Medical Residency Program Directors

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NEW YORK, NY - A new U.S. News and World Report survey has projected that the 2015 Medical Residency Match rate will likely hit 100% with nearly...
aorta

Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering

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INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands.  At 5:42 a.m....
glove intern millionaire

Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire

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PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in...
doctor walking

Housestaff Restricted to 6000 Steps Per Day

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In an effort to balance resident wellness and service, the ACGME (Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education) has formally recommended limiting all housestaff to...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...
Samsung Galaxy Pager fire

Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition

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DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded.  The incident occurred at...
confused doctor

Attending Loses Perspective, Can’t Find it Anywhere

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NASHVILLE, TN - "I swear I just had it," muttered 57-year-old vascular surgeon Tom Hatfield as he feverishly searched for his perspective under stacks...