Intern Determined Not to Have Medical Decision-Making Capacity
ANN ARBOR, MI - For several days medical intern Brent Hammock appeared very confused. He had lucid moments now and again, but he was...
Medical Schools, Residency Programs in Shock as Zero Medical Students Matched This Year
WASHINGTON, DC - In a completely unexpected development in the past 24 hours, medical schools and residency programs are shocked and confused as a...
Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...
MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet
BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today. "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a...
Intern Tries to Palpate Pedal Pulses, Can’t Locate Legs
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Beads of sweat were trickling down the intern's face. He was determined. He could do this.
It had been over five minutes...
The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals
I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy
YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding. Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students...