wound care don't care

ICU Fellow Inconsolable After Girlfriend Calls for Goals of Care Discussion

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NEW HAVEN, CT - It was supposed to be just a normal overnight shift at a prestigious Connecticut hospital when a hospital janitor found a...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

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CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
post call resident

Resident workforce devastated by excessive wellness initiatives

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It was a gruesome scene in the medical resident workroom at Boston Health Alliance today. Amidst the grueling work hours, exploding COVID census, and...
female doctor

Resident is “Finally Free” as She is Sentenced to Jail

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DALLAS, TX - Olga J. Sampson, a second-year surgical resident, is finally free.  She was sentenced yesterday to three months of jail time following her...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...
joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery

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KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a...

How to F***ing Shine on the Wards: A Med Student Guide to Getting Honors

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We all want that coveted “H.” Here’s how to be a star on the wards: 1. On the first day of rotation, don’t forget the...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...