Breaking: Resident Answers ‘Yes’ When Third-Year Medical Student Asks if They Can Help With...

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CHICAGO, IL – It was approximately 4:15 PM last Tuesday when Clark Gunnerson, a 3rd year medical student on his pediatrics rotation, uttered the universal...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...

Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left

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CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold. "You mean to tell me I started...
champagne tap cava

Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon

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BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...

STAT Officially Means “Maybe”

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? ...
surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

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SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...

Residents Dismiss Report They Rarely Wash White Coats: “We Don’t Wash Our Regular Clothes...

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HYGIENE, CO—According to a recent study, doctors rarely, if ever, launder their white lab coats, a nauseating fact given that these coats carry and...

Lame PCP Doctor Hasn’t Even Tried PCP

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MADISON, WI - Quick!  Hide your beer, get the Visine, because it's time to meet Dr. Dud.  Well, her real name is Dr. Amy...
55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...