Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
New Ophthalmology Intern Not Sure How to Spell Ophthalmology
IOWA CITY, IA - It was a rough start to the year for first-year ophthalmology resident Tony Beamer, who was recently caught trying to spell "ophthalmology," the name of...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
‘Despacito’ Doubles Spanish Vocabulary for Non-Spanish-Speaking Health Care Staff
Health care staff across the country are praising the song “Despacito,” Justin Bieber’s hit collaboration with Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee, for enhancing interactions...
Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’
FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes...
Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely
NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
Tinder Acquires Scheduling Software AMiON, Creating TinderResident App
Following years of agony among chief residents attempting to input schedules into the AMiON.com interface, a major change is underway: Tinder is now acquiring...