naptime for medical residents

Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) just passed a new residency requirement that mandates residents and interns to take a 30-minute...

Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question

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SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones.  Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin.  Austin, a new...
physical exam

Ode to the Death of the Physical Exam

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Here ye, here ye On this day we take the time to remember The loss of a fond friend, The physical exam Gone are the days Of the bedside...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...
Jason

New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors

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CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...

Chief Resident Forging Attending’s Signature for Intern Assessment Forms, Praised for His Initiative

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DROGHEDA, CO. LAOIS, IRELAND - Dr. Means was discovered yesterday to be filling out intern assessment forms and signing them with Mr. McGearry’s signature.  The...

VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed

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PHOENIX, AZ - Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right...
emoji for orthopedic surgeons interpreted

Orthopaedics to Begin to Use Emojis in Progress Notes

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CHICAGO, IL - In a progressive move by the National Orthopaedic Society of Orthopaedic Surgeons and Orthopaedists (NOSOSO), emojis have now been approved to...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...