Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene

0
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...

Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day

0
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy.  He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy."  Like most medical...
champagne tap cava

Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon

0
BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...

Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun

0
The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
DNR

Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays

27
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they...

Ask a Drug Seeker

0
Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Lumbar Puncture LP Spinal Tap

Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes

0
Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1 Procedure: This is Spinal Tap. Date/Time: Optional. Indication: Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea. Resident: Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1. Attending: Yes. A time-out was completed to...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

0
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...

ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies

0
After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

3
PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...