Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different
BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years. Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill her lifelong calling. Growing up watching shows like Scrubs and...
Roger the Resident in Tears, Freed from Medicine Captivity
ST. LOUIS, MO - Roger Springfield, a 28-year-old internal medicine resident at St. Louis University Hospital, was rescued last weekend by conservationists after being abused and held captive for nearly three years. Roger cried...
Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines
WASHINGTON, DC - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) just passed a new residency requirement that mandates residents and interns to take a 30-minute power nap between the hours of 1 p.m. and 1:30...
Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding
In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays penned some four years prior were, in fact, legally-binding contracts...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (FWS) has removed white doctors from the endangered species list.
"This...
Pathology Resident Makes Up Disease at Tumor Board, Groundbreaking Discovery
CHICAGO, IL - A second-year pathology resident, Dr. Daniel Platt, is being credited with discovering a new tumor following a presentation at his hospital's tumor board. "To be honest, I lost track of what I...
New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds
CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician. She has been desperately trying to impress her attending. The group thought it was odd she...
With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr. Jeff Riggs quickly sprung into action and administered 500 cc...
Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left
CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold.
"You mean to tell me I started rounds on the 7th floor only to have the drawer picked...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...
