Little Man Living in Alaris Pump: I’m Lonely

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Alaris guy

GomerBlog was able to get an exclusive interview with the little man who lives in the Alaris pump, currently in room 2016.  “I’m just lonely that’s all,” he told us.


This little man, who wants to remain anonymous – and for the purpose of this story we will call him Henry – has lived his entire life in the Alaris pump.  Henry and his wife raised 2 kids in the Alaris pump and both children have moved on to newer and louder Alaris pumps of their own.

“I lost my wife in 2004 and I don’t see my kids much.  I just get sad when the nurses leave the room,” Henry professed while shedding several tears.  He went on to discuss that he will sound the alarm to bring them back.  “Just hearing nurse Shannon curse at me makes me happy.  It’s still a decent interaction, to me.”

Sometimes he will become depressed and he refuses to pump any medications.  “I have to confess, I’ll throw up the ‘air-in-line’ alarm and watch TV.  This also brings someone to come and talk to me and usually open my door.”

Henry also is known to have the infusion completed coincidentally at shift change, so he can meet the new oncoming nurses.

He will also sound the alarm when the patient falls asleep.  “If I’m awake and my patient starts to fall asleep, well, a little beeping does the trick.  Just someone to talk to… that is all I want.”

The next time you hear that Alaris pump going off, just think of how lonely poor Henry is inside, and offer him a “Hi, Henry.”

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