KANSAS CITY, MO – In a recent Census of US Medical Students report, published in JAMA last week, researchers wanted to see which medical school students were attending.
Researches used the very popular forum website: Student Doctor Network, where many prospective medical students and active medical students go to discuss and seek advice. Often the users will post their MCAT score and which school they will be attending.
From the data, over 2500 new students will be attending Harvard Medical School this year. This comes as a surprise to Harvard Medical School Dean Dr. Ronald Foster. “I didn’t see this coming at all. We typically only accept 165 medical students every year, I will have to make some calls and get an addition built in time for next year!”
How the Harvard Dean of Admissions was unaware of the large number of new students will have to be investigated further, but Dr. Foster was pretty confident in the data. “One: this was printed in JAMA, and two: this is the Student Doctor Network! Nobody would lie on there, they’re future doctors,” he said. “Looks like there was an admin error and we let in a lot of new students this year. Those other medical schools are going to be so jealous!”
Dr. Foster was correct in stating that about a third of all medical students, according to the data on the Student Doctor Network, will be enrolled in Harvard Medical School this year. Many other medical schools are in panic at the thought of not filling their classes up.
Dr. Noonan, a dean at University of Washington, told reporters that besides being a top-tier medical school they would have to offer more incentives to medical students to get them to come out to Washington. “We’ll probably start offering a free box of steaks or something; Harvard can’t hog all these medical students. We want some too!”
Dr. Noonan was recently caught posting fraudulent numbers on SDN. He was inflating the number of steaks that he will be giving away to future students from 12 when the actual amount of Omaha Steaks is 6. SDN admin MedStudent17$ put his account on probation. “Here on SDN we hold the highest standards, no one is allowed to lie or inflate their numbers, he will be barred from posting for 3 months.”
In a follow-up survey the new average board score has risen from 201 to 247, according to scores released on the forum.
